56 Things I Think I Believe on My 56th Birthday

Photo by Richard Burlton on Unsplash

With the arrival of my 56th birthday later this week, here are 56 things I think I believe…

1. The single thing within your control in this life is how you choose to show up in the world.
2. The people who most loudly advertise their love of the Bible and the Constitution have usually never read either.
3. Stop imagining people are sitting around thinking critically about you. They’re more concerned about who is sitting around thinking critically about them.
4. Of course, politics is a good enough reason to lose someone. Politics is just our values embodied in policies and platforms.
5. If I knew how difficult being a parent was going to be, I wouldn’t have been such an asshole to mine as a teenager.
6. I’d much rather be surrounded by people who care too much about others than people who care too little.
7. Skipping dessert is a sure way to leave this place slightly thinner but far less satisfied.
8. People who say they have no regrets are either lying or sociopaths.
9. Life was much better before we all had cellphones. Anyone who tells you differently didn’t spend their adolescence without one.
10. The moment you stop trying to change people is the moment you’ll love them well.
11. I’m not as afraid of death as I am of wasting my life on the way there.
12. As you get older, it will take your breath away how much of your life you have forgotten.
13. There are few people as unloving as Christians who use the phrase, “hate the sin, love the sinner.”
14. Sex is healthy. So is being able to laugh at yourself. Even healthier is doing both simultaneously from time to time.
15. I’d give all my life savings for one more conversation with my father.
16. We all waste years of our lives obsessing over our waistlines, hairlines, and bottom lines.
17. The only people who don’t suffer from Imposter Syndrome are the people who should.

18. If your faith doesn’t make you a more compassionate human being, it’s worthless.
19. Money can’t buy happiness, but it can give you nicer surroundings and a better view while you’re miserable.
20. The older you get, the more grief you’ll have to carry. Get used to goodbyes.
21. If flatulence ever becomes not funny, call it a day. It’s over.
22. Be skeptical of anyone who tells you they’re absolutely certain of what God wants. They’re either lying to you, themselves, or both of you.
23. Spending money on experiences is always better than spending it on things.
24. The bullies aren’t always hurt and misunderstood people, sometimes they’re just assholes.
25. Yes, a sense of humor and a great personality are really attractive, but a symmetrical face and killer genes don’t hurt, either.
26. While people who love you will walk with you when you grieve, there is a place they can’t go with you.
27. No matter how evolved and well-adjusted we become, nothing will feel as cathartic and healing as a well-placed F-bomb.
28. Every second you spend being less than fully authentic is a second you’ve fully wasted.
29. As a rule, few people have greater contempt for the living than those claiming to be pro-life.
30. Before you become a parent, no one tells you how your heart will rise and fall along with your children’s.
31. Mental illness teaches you empathy for hurting people like nothing else can.
32. At some point in our lives, we will all trip and pretend to start running—and no one else will be fooled.
33. Religious people’s fixation on sexuality is one of the greatest cancers on this planet.
34. Many people are hanging by the thinnest of threads, and our simple kindness can be that thread.
35. Yes, love wins, but it often requires overtime.

36. Anyone claiming to want to make America great has no desire to make it good.
37. Living well is the best revenge, but getting revenge is often a close second.
38. Realizing you will be forgotten 100 years after you’re gone isn’t depressing, it’s liberating.
39. I want to age in such a way that I have an older version of my face, not a slightly younger version of someone else’s.
40. No one has made me question my faith more than self-professed Christians.
41. It is impossible to hold gratitude and despair simultaneously, so cultivating the former is critical to avoiding the latter.
42. There is some shit that no one on the planet will ever know you’ve gone through, but you do, so take it easy on yourself.
43. No matter how competent and successful you become, you’ll still feel like a fraud, and that’s probably a good thing.
44. Pain is not a competition. The hardest thing you’re dealing with is the hardest thing you’re dealing with.
45. Anger is often an invaluable, involuntary alarm, telling you something is not right. Sometimes, we need to embrace it.
46. Somehow, someway, in ways that will both please and frustrate you, you will become your parents.
47. It’s better to laugh with someone than at them, though laughing near them is a good compromise.
48. You’re rarely doing as well or as poorly as you think you are.
49. You are the world’s leading authority on your particular experience of being human. Don’t defer to anyone else’s opinion.
50. The phrase “keep your friends close and your enemies closer” is terrible advice. Get the hell away from them.
51. Sarcasm is a great way to keep people from ever really knowing you.
52. Most dogs are better than most people, and that’s just the truth.
53. Find someone who loves you enough to tell you your haircut looks bad but still wants to be seen in public with you.
54. Addressing mental illness is rarely about changing your geography. You bring you with you wherever you go.
55. I know I shouldn’t care what other people think of me, but I will also be carefully monitoring the analytics of this post to validate my self-worth.
56. If I make it to year 57, I probably won’t believe a lot of stuff on this list.

In the comments, share a core belief, accepted truth, or bit of wisdom that you’ve acquired during your time here.