I don't know when I lost my idealistic view of the US. Maybe in my 20's (the 1980s) when I became aware of the atrocities committed in Vietnam. Or when I accepted that the US civil war wasn't about States Rights, like I had been told my my HS history books, but about the right to enslave humans. Certainly by my 40s (2000s) when I moved to the UK with my British (now ex) husband. I could see the US as a place I loved, but also as a bully. A place that over and over holds other countries to a higher standard than it actually manages itself. Today, at the age of at 62, I am ashamed of my country. I am embarrassed when I meet a new person and they figure out I'm American and I always bring up how opposed to the current regime I am. The US could do, and has done, so much good in the world but that's gone. Will it ever be back, or are we witnessing the end of democracy in the US?
I started to lose mine in the 90s, in my mid 30s. It came slowly at first, like waking from a dream. A dream I didn't want to lose. The evidence became overwhelming over time that though the country had some good things going for it, it was unequally distributed. The white, cisgender, heterosexual population is now finding out what the rest of the population has always known. Comedian George Carlin once said: "Rights aren't rights if someone can take them away. They're privileges. That's all we've ever had in this country is a bill of temporary privileges." As was frequently the case, he was dead on. Now, the mask had come off and we're all seeing the truth.
I am the same age as you.....I too began to lose hope in America when politicians back in the 80's used religion to grab the whitehouse........when a former president took us to war to redeem his father's supposed failure during his own presidency.....I am so ashamed to be an American now.....I used to proudly sing the National Anthem at all kinds of sporting events......never again.
PLEASE, do not at this moment give up on the ideal of America...it still is worth the pursuit in the name of ALL OF US. Trump has actually done us a service in revealing CLEARLY our underbelly....painful...yet some broken bones mend stronger, so we are broken today yet we can be stronger tomorrow.
I'm about the same age as you (and demographic as John) born and raised in a small town in Michigan. I really had my eyes first opened when I was bused in the early '70's to the other side of town for 2nd and 3rd grade and I was the minority. My perspective was further opened in the '80s when I read A People's History of the United States (Howard Zinn) and 90's Lies My Teacher Told Me (James Loewen) and moving to California. I still want to believe that the majority of Americans are good; however, ever since Trump and MAGA I see and mourn how easy it is for far too many to forsake key beliefs and tenets and how the America I thought we were striving to achieve was one that many others didn't care about.
I am also the same age, and similar realizations on the same timeline. I was there in the crowd when Reagan landed in Lynchburg, with feelings of importance mixed with feelings of trepidation at the thought of mixed religion with state. Within a year, I left for Charlottesville, and learned many of the things you mentioned and more. Reagan was obviously struggling mentally, but on hindsight, much of what he did that I thought was insane...was preparation. I was a server through the 80s. It's easier to see from a basic income level.
Of all the many inspiration and true things you have written, this resonates the most with me!
I have been blessed to live in a postcard-lovely, suburban village of 4,000 kind, well-informed neighbors who all live on safe and peaceful streets. I have been privileged to teach in a place where education is valued, children are cherished and taken care of, and independent thought and tolerance are fostered. I naively—or lazily— thought everyone looked out their window onto the same view that I saw, and walked through the same world that I did. This last decade has made me realize that I live in a bubble—albeit a beautiful one—that is just an illusion. And it’s one I can’t afford to hold anymore. It’s necessary to speak for and fight for the millions outside my little snow globe world. I guess it’s time to wake up and grow up. And yes, facing that cold, grey morning of reality does make me a little sad.
Very well said. Thank you for sharing these thoughts. Today my husband who is 81 and I who am 77 will walk with others in the Hands Off local rally. I was a young person in the 60's. Believed with all of my heart in the civil rights movement. And had my naive blinders on truly believing racism was becoming a thing of the past. I believed we were growing past the illogical horrifying fact of it. I was wrong. Whoever could have imagined at our ages that we would become activists?
I just returned from my first rally ever in Syracuse, NY. Over 4,000 people attended, the majority from the baby boomer generation which surprised me. Where were all the young people whose futures are at risk? Where were the college students? Anyway, it made me feel so great to transform my negative feelings into ones of hope and solidarity with a caring community of like minded people instead of just watching the news, feeling helpless and hopeless. I wish there was another one tomorrow! We heard that 100,000 people showed up in DC. That news made my spirit expand a little. People still do care! I hope you and your husband continue as I will.
Yes yes yes. When people say America is the greatest, I think you ignore that it is a national aspiring to be what we profess—equality for all. And yes for those who say we are “woke” it should be received as a compliment. We who as you say have been privileged to have the opportunities from birth because of how we look, finally are hearing and seeing the real truths and history of our nation. Yes we have done good things but we also have done very bad things. We have not known our true history and we have not ever acknowledged our wrong doings to many here and worldwide. We aspire to be that beacon that really does allow all to experience life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.
I have stopped mourning the loss of America. The evil that now presents itself was always there. It was hidden before, but the current government has given evil forces freer reign to express themselves and act on their evil impulses. The difference is that the evil is out in the open now and not hidden behind the curtain of religion and respectability.
I’m so glad you’re out of that dark space. It’s time to start building toward what we truly want this nation to be. Out of the ashes. It seems absurd, but I believe the time is now. And yes I am gutted at the destruction but the masks are off.
Mary, believe it or not, I studied Langston Hughes in a late 1960’s high school English class in a small town in west central Texas—this poem in fact. I never forgot it. I fear we are no longer study our true history and never will again. The current moment is absolute madness and so many millions are happy with the cruelty, and truly evil, in our midst. While there has always been the America that failed its ideals miserably, I have never seen anything close to the present day in my 71 years. I am heartbroken for this country we are leaving to my children and grandchildren.
It's still possible to study the entire history of this country, for now at least. Hardcopy books are hard to track down. They can be banned from schools, but it's hard to eliminate every one of them. We can teach our children the truth, passing it to the next generations.
I can’t thank you or John enough for the poem and sentiments. They are the essence of my thoughts and hopes for this country. I sense we’re at a turning point today
Thank you so much for the link to Langston Hughes’s poem. I thought indignantly, Why did we never read this in history class? Then I discovered the copyright was 1995. My high school history class was in 1959.
The poem was actually written in 1935 and printed in a magazine in 1936, so it's been around a long time. I remember using it in a high school English class I was teaching in 1968. The kids in the class were mostly Black, and I guess that was the year I became "woke" (at age 22). I stopped saying part of the Pledge of Allegiance that year because the kids in my classes taught me that there really was no "liberty and justice for all"; those gifts were for only the priveleged few.
Trump has revealed the ugly underbelly of our nation. I hope we can all act on what we're learning and save our democracy before it's too late.
I read a poem posted the day after Trump was elected president. I wish I had thought to save it, but I didn't, but it included a remarkable phrase: "Just recognize that the America you see today is the same America that it was yesterday. The very same America." This points at the reality you are pointing to. My guess is it was written by a person of color, a woman, an LBGT+ person, a differently abled person, an immigrant (legal or illegal) or a Native American member of our First Nations. I am glad, John, that your blinders have come off, because we all need to remove ours if we are to continue to move toward ideals of justice and equity, kindness and fairness, respect and refraining from exploitation in the name of recognized and unrecognized greed and privilege. The time is now, and I think the time is ours. All of ours.
I know my view as an older educated woman is privileged. The America I want back provided support and foundations for all, at least while we supported DEI. I cannot imagine my country without the CDC, the Smithsonian, universities and research, FEMA, museums and libraries, Title I, etc., — all of the things that DOGE and Trump are working to destroy.
We are all grieving in our own way. I alternate between grief and outrage, heartbreak and fierceness, despair and resolve.
I was a closeted lesbian for 18 years, who finally was able to not only openly acknowledge and celebrate my love, but actually marry and create a legal union. After 43 years together and 13 years legally married, I refuse to step back and allow the hate of this reich to go unopposed.
For the first time at 64, I have written and called my representative and senators almost daily. Written postcards for GOTV. I attended a protest on Presidents’ Day and am gearing up for the HandsOff protest today in a red city in GA where, it turns out, I have found I am not alone.
Your words provide solace in a time of great chaos. Thank you.
I thought the distinction between patriotism and nationalism needed to be highlighted here. The President is a nationalist, and seems to think America is the best country in the world. Patriotism is wanting your country to be the best it can be, whilst recognising all its current flaws and knowing there is room for improvement. We have the same issue over here in the UK, well, England. You are fine if you are a cis white man, while all other people of another gender, sexual orientation, skin colour, disability and so on have far fewer privileges. As a white cisgender woman, I haven’t had quite so many barriers but I lost a ton of my state pension, and occupational pension, because I had children. Thank you, John. People in England who say they want their country back don’t seem to understand the many sacrifices women, children and immigrants made to make their, white, male, “Golden Age” achievable.
The understanding that America is not a place but an ideal is the starting point. Americans live in the country they are willing to accept. If we want to truly live up to the ideals that are espoused in the Constitution it is up to the people to fight for that reality. Martin Luther King Jr. famously said "Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere." We the people must stand up for a country that affords justice, freedom and peace to all its citizens. The American Dream has had many starts and stops but the work continues and the fight goes on. I'm a 55 year old Irish woman. My family started coming to America as far back as 1855. I will fight with my last breath to build the America that gave my family enough hope to defy the odds and cross an ocean.
I grew up in a family that was by no means rich but definitely comfortable and secure in our lives. And we were staunch Republicans. I am now 74 and had never once voted for a Democrat. Until Trump came on the scene and I was horrified. So I cast my first vote for a Democrat by voting for Hilary. And I have voted straight Democrat since. Daily I am now horrified, appalled, angered etc. etc. by the new Republican Party. John’s posting resonated so much with me as I have had the exact same feelings - I’ve been a very privileged person who now sees that the American Dream I have been so fortunate to experience has in reality not been experienced by vast numbers of my fellow Americans. I only hope that more Republicans will have their eyes opened and hearts expanded to stop this crazed new party. Thank you, John!
I don't know when I lost my idealistic view of the US. Maybe in my 20's (the 1980s) when I became aware of the atrocities committed in Vietnam. Or when I accepted that the US civil war wasn't about States Rights, like I had been told my my HS history books, but about the right to enslave humans. Certainly by my 40s (2000s) when I moved to the UK with my British (now ex) husband. I could see the US as a place I loved, but also as a bully. A place that over and over holds other countries to a higher standard than it actually manages itself. Today, at the age of at 62, I am ashamed of my country. I am embarrassed when I meet a new person and they figure out I'm American and I always bring up how opposed to the current regime I am. The US could do, and has done, so much good in the world but that's gone. Will it ever be back, or are we witnessing the end of democracy in the US?
I started to lose mine in the 90s, in my mid 30s. It came slowly at first, like waking from a dream. A dream I didn't want to lose. The evidence became overwhelming over time that though the country had some good things going for it, it was unequally distributed. The white, cisgender, heterosexual population is now finding out what the rest of the population has always known. Comedian George Carlin once said: "Rights aren't rights if someone can take them away. They're privileges. That's all we've ever had in this country is a bill of temporary privileges." As was frequently the case, he was dead on. Now, the mask had come off and we're all seeing the truth.
I am the same age as you.....I too began to lose hope in America when politicians back in the 80's used religion to grab the whitehouse........when a former president took us to war to redeem his father's supposed failure during his own presidency.....I am so ashamed to be an American now.....I used to proudly sing the National Anthem at all kinds of sporting events......never again.
PLEASE, do not at this moment give up on the ideal of America...it still is worth the pursuit in the name of ALL OF US. Trump has actually done us a service in revealing CLEARLY our underbelly....painful...yet some broken bones mend stronger, so we are broken today yet we can be stronger tomorrow.
YES!
I'm about the same age as you (and demographic as John) born and raised in a small town in Michigan. I really had my eyes first opened when I was bused in the early '70's to the other side of town for 2nd and 3rd grade and I was the minority. My perspective was further opened in the '80s when I read A People's History of the United States (Howard Zinn) and 90's Lies My Teacher Told Me (James Loewen) and moving to California. I still want to believe that the majority of Americans are good; however, ever since Trump and MAGA I see and mourn how easy it is for far too many to forsake key beliefs and tenets and how the America I thought we were striving to achieve was one that many others didn't care about.
I am also the same age, and similar realizations on the same timeline. I was there in the crowd when Reagan landed in Lynchburg, with feelings of importance mixed with feelings of trepidation at the thought of mixed religion with state. Within a year, I left for Charlottesville, and learned many of the things you mentioned and more. Reagan was obviously struggling mentally, but on hindsight, much of what he did that I thought was insane...was preparation. I was a server through the 80s. It's easier to see from a basic income level.
This is what it means to be woke!
Outside our self centered view. Working daily towards being all things to ALL people.
Of all the many inspiration and true things you have written, this resonates the most with me!
I have been blessed to live in a postcard-lovely, suburban village of 4,000 kind, well-informed neighbors who all live on safe and peaceful streets. I have been privileged to teach in a place where education is valued, children are cherished and taken care of, and independent thought and tolerance are fostered. I naively—or lazily— thought everyone looked out their window onto the same view that I saw, and walked through the same world that I did. This last decade has made me realize that I live in a bubble—albeit a beautiful one—that is just an illusion. And it’s one I can’t afford to hold anymore. It’s necessary to speak for and fight for the millions outside my little snow globe world. I guess it’s time to wake up and grow up. And yes, facing that cold, grey morning of reality does make me a little sad.
Very well said. Thank you for sharing these thoughts. Today my husband who is 81 and I who am 77 will walk with others in the Hands Off local rally. I was a young person in the 60's. Believed with all of my heart in the civil rights movement. And had my naive blinders on truly believing racism was becoming a thing of the past. I believed we were growing past the illogical horrifying fact of it. I was wrong. Whoever could have imagined at our ages that we would become activists?
I just returned from my first rally ever in Syracuse, NY. Over 4,000 people attended, the majority from the baby boomer generation which surprised me. Where were all the young people whose futures are at risk? Where were the college students? Anyway, it made me feel so great to transform my negative feelings into ones of hope and solidarity with a caring community of like minded people instead of just watching the news, feeling helpless and hopeless. I wish there was another one tomorrow! We heard that 100,000 people showed up in DC. That news made my spirit expand a little. People still do care! I hope you and your husband continue as I will.
Yes yes yes. When people say America is the greatest, I think you ignore that it is a national aspiring to be what we profess—equality for all. And yes for those who say we are “woke” it should be received as a compliment. We who as you say have been privileged to have the opportunities from birth because of how we look, finally are hearing and seeing the real truths and history of our nation. Yes we have done good things but we also have done very bad things. We have not known our true history and we have not ever acknowledged our wrong doings to many here and worldwide. We aspire to be that beacon that really does allow all to experience life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.
I have stopped mourning the loss of America. The evil that now presents itself was always there. It was hidden before, but the current government has given evil forces freer reign to express themselves and act on their evil impulses. The difference is that the evil is out in the open now and not hidden behind the curtain of religion and respectability.
I’m so glad you’re out of that dark space. It’s time to start building toward what we truly want this nation to be. Out of the ashes. It seems absurd, but I believe the time is now. And yes I am gutted at the destruction but the masks are off.
Thank you.
I remembered a poem by Langston Hughes that expressed this feeling, too. You are in good company.
https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/147907/let-america-be-america-again
Mary, believe it or not, I studied Langston Hughes in a late 1960’s high school English class in a small town in west central Texas—this poem in fact. I never forgot it. I fear we are no longer study our true history and never will again. The current moment is absolute madness and so many millions are happy with the cruelty, and truly evil, in our midst. While there has always been the America that failed its ideals miserably, I have never seen anything close to the present day in my 71 years. I am heartbroken for this country we are leaving to my children and grandchildren.
It's still possible to study the entire history of this country, for now at least. Hardcopy books are hard to track down. They can be banned from schools, but it's hard to eliminate every one of them. We can teach our children the truth, passing it to the next generations.
I can’t thank you or John enough for the poem and sentiments. They are the essence of my thoughts and hopes for this country. I sense we’re at a turning point today
Thank you for that powerful poem Mary. That reflects John's essay so well.
Yes.
Thank you for sharing this!! I am saving this poem for future inspiration!!!
Thank you so much for the link to Langston Hughes’s poem. I thought indignantly, Why did we never read this in history class? Then I discovered the copyright was 1995. My high school history class was in 1959.
The poem was actually written in 1935 and printed in a magazine in 1936, so it's been around a long time. I remember using it in a high school English class I was teaching in 1968. The kids in the class were mostly Black, and I guess that was the year I became "woke" (at age 22). I stopped saying part of the Pledge of Allegiance that year because the kids in my classes taught me that there really was no "liberty and justice for all"; those gifts were for only the priveleged few.
Trump has revealed the ugly underbelly of our nation. I hope we can all act on what we're learning and save our democracy before it's too late.
I read a poem posted the day after Trump was elected president. I wish I had thought to save it, but I didn't, but it included a remarkable phrase: "Just recognize that the America you see today is the same America that it was yesterday. The very same America." This points at the reality you are pointing to. My guess is it was written by a person of color, a woman, an LBGT+ person, a differently abled person, an immigrant (legal or illegal) or a Native American member of our First Nations. I am glad, John, that your blinders have come off, because we all need to remove ours if we are to continue to move toward ideals of justice and equity, kindness and fairness, respect and refraining from exploitation in the name of recognized and unrecognized greed and privilege. The time is now, and I think the time is ours. All of ours.
I know my view as an older educated woman is privileged. The America I want back provided support and foundations for all, at least while we supported DEI. I cannot imagine my country without the CDC, the Smithsonian, universities and research, FEMA, museums and libraries, Title I, etc., — all of the things that DOGE and Trump are working to destroy.
We are all grieving in our own way. I alternate between grief and outrage, heartbreak and fierceness, despair and resolve.
I was a closeted lesbian for 18 years, who finally was able to not only openly acknowledge and celebrate my love, but actually marry and create a legal union. After 43 years together and 13 years legally married, I refuse to step back and allow the hate of this reich to go unopposed.
For the first time at 64, I have written and called my representative and senators almost daily. Written postcards for GOTV. I attended a protest on Presidents’ Day and am gearing up for the HandsOff protest today in a red city in GA where, it turns out, I have found I am not alone.
Your words provide solace in a time of great chaos. Thank you.
https://www.dictionary.com/e/patriotism-vs-nationalism/
I thought the distinction between patriotism and nationalism needed to be highlighted here. The President is a nationalist, and seems to think America is the best country in the world. Patriotism is wanting your country to be the best it can be, whilst recognising all its current flaws and knowing there is room for improvement. We have the same issue over here in the UK, well, England. You are fine if you are a cis white man, while all other people of another gender, sexual orientation, skin colour, disability and so on have far fewer privileges. As a white cisgender woman, I haven’t had quite so many barriers but I lost a ton of my state pension, and occupational pension, because I had children. Thank you, John. People in England who say they want their country back don’t seem to understand the many sacrifices women, children and immigrants made to make their, white, male, “Golden Age” achievable.
« This will be an America worth the tears. » Nailed it. « Never give up. Never surrender »—Galaxy Quest
The understanding that America is not a place but an ideal is the starting point. Americans live in the country they are willing to accept. If we want to truly live up to the ideals that are espoused in the Constitution it is up to the people to fight for that reality. Martin Luther King Jr. famously said "Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere." We the people must stand up for a country that affords justice, freedom and peace to all its citizens. The American Dream has had many starts and stops but the work continues and the fight goes on. I'm a 55 year old Irish woman. My family started coming to America as far back as 1855. I will fight with my last breath to build the America that gave my family enough hope to defy the odds and cross an ocean.
Greatly appreciate your writings, John. Look forward to them every day. Peace
I grew up in a family that was by no means rich but definitely comfortable and secure in our lives. And we were staunch Republicans. I am now 74 and had never once voted for a Democrat. Until Trump came on the scene and I was horrified. So I cast my first vote for a Democrat by voting for Hilary. And I have voted straight Democrat since. Daily I am now horrified, appalled, angered etc. etc. by the new Republican Party. John’s posting resonated so much with me as I have had the exact same feelings - I’ve been a very privileged person who now sees that the American Dream I have been so fortunate to experience has in reality not been experienced by vast numbers of my fellow Americans. I only hope that more Republicans will have their eyes opened and hearts expanded to stop this crazed new party. Thank you, John!
You’ve hit the nail on the head..privledged white men that have pushed so many to the outside