Stop Saying Love Wins

Love's victory is not inevitable. We have to fight for it.

Recently, I asked my social media followers what gives them hope right now.

A myriad of reasonable and predictable replies came back: children, grandchildren, spouses, partners, meaningful work, food, sex, laughter, music—and dogs, lots and lots of dogs.

Yet, there was an unsettling pattern to many of the responses, too. Despite every breakdown of our election processes, legislative safeguards, and Constitutional protections over the past few years, and despite being perpetually let down and betrayed by elected officials and church leaders and federal judges—far too many people are still inexplicably waiting for saviors and superheroes to save them.

"I believe that Love wins."
"I have faith that God will make things right."
"I trust that goodness will persevere."

The prevailing wisdom still seems to be that Love and God and “someone out there” are going to save the day. I wish it were that simple. It would be nice if it was that cheap and clean a proposition: offer up some skyward prayers or make a public floodlight appeal to the heavens and wait for inevitable rescue. That's not how this is going to work.

No, contrary to the t-shirts and memes, Love will not win on its own simply because.

Courageous, empathetic, pissed off people armed with sacrificial love, fully participating in the political process and relentlessly engaging the broken systems around them, will win.

Wherever the disparate, sprawling army of compassionate human beings spend themselves on behalf of other people, when they keep going despite being exhausted, when they refuse to tire of doing the right thing, when they will not be shamed into silence—then love will be winning.

Love isn't some mysterious force outside of our grasp and beyond our efforts that exists disconnected from us. It’s not supernatural magic, it’s hard ass work: the tangible cause-and-effect of giving a damn about our families, neighbors, strangers, and exercising that impulse in measurable ways. Love is ornamental and worthless until it moves from aspiration to incarnation.

And all apologies to the theists and desists, but God is not going to magically make things right either.

That’s not part of the deal. God or the Universe or whatever you believe holds this place together isn’t fixing this planet without a decisive and sustained movement of empathetic human beings.
We who are harboring a ferocity for diverse humanity born of our moral convictions and propelled by our spiritual centers are going to need to move in order to make right all that is so terribly wrong.
We’re going to have to sacrifice sleep or relationships or comfort in order to step into the messy, jagged trenches of this f*cked up day and unf*ck it.
We are the flawed and failing, beautifully imperfect angels who get to bring the good tidings of great joy.

And we know from our friends in Conservative politics that thoughts (and even prayers) alone aren’t fixing this mess.

What will alter the story we find ourselves in, is kindhearted prayerful people who reflect fully on the fractures and the malignancies and injustices in front of them—and decide they will change what they can change and do what they are able to do. Theology is embodied or its useless.

That's not to say that there aren't things working outside of what we can see and measure and quantify, but it means that we are able to do physical things (help and heal and give and protest and volunteer and canvass and vote).
We have proximity and agency, and that if we do those physical things in the small, close, here, now, and doable—then we will at least be able to welcome the mysteries, knowing we did all that we could with what we were entrusted with.

God isn't going to ensure that our schools are safe for LGBTQ children.
Love isn't going to make assault weapons less available in our streets.
Jesus isn't going to secure our elections to prevent wannabe dictators from taking power.
Love isn't going to legislate protections for the planet and the poor and the marginalized.
God isn't going to swoop in and instantly dismantle the systemic racism still afflicting our nation.
Jesus isn't coming to shut down social media disinformation and make our neighbors wiser to Fox News fakery.
Love isn't going to push back against anti-immigrant bigotry.

Human beings, fighting like hell together for the common good are going to do these things, whether we are compelled by love or God or simply by an acute sickness in our stomachs that will not let us rest.

It’s good to believe in love and in a God of that love, but belief isn’t enough.

Our beliefs need to be embodied for the common good.

Love will not win anything on its own.

We need to live in such a way that we make sure that love (through us) wins.

Friends, this is a sneak peek from my forthcoming book Worth Fighting For: Finding Courage and Compassion When Cruelty is Trending, out April 2nd.

Pre-order it today from your favorite bookseller!