We Were Wrong About America
The results of the presidential election have force-fed many of us the most bitter of pills: we were wrong about America.
The fact that the results weren’t even close despite Trump’s campaign formed almost exclusively of xenophobia, misogyny, and white nationalism, is confirmation that a substantial portion of this nation is no longer accessible by reason or data or empathy.
Numbed by a cocktail of optimism, ignorance, and wishful thinking, many of us imagined that the previous two elections were somehow momentary aberrations; temporary glitches in the system that would surely be remedied this year.
We believed that after so much ugliness, such open disregard for people of color, such contempt toward immigrants, such a sickening failure in the face of the pandemic, such an open assault on our Democracy on January 6th—that We The People would surely come to the rescue.
We were certain that we would collectively course-correct as a nation; that the pendulum that had so wildly swung toward inhumanity over the past decade would come roaring back to decency in these days; that we would presently be basking in the glory of a radiant dawn’s referendum on all this senseless bigotry.
We thought we would be dancing together on the grave of fascism right now instead of holding a possible postmortem for democracy.
We thought, of course the good people of our homeland would come to their collective senses, leaving behind political affiliations and superficial preferences and ceremonial ties in order to help rescue us all from a malevolence that had proven itself unworthy of its position and toxic to its people.
We believed that every woman of this nation and the men who love them would make an unprecedented stand for the rights of women to govern their bodies.
We were certain there would be a mass repudiation of the racism that this man has revealed and the violence he's nurtured, because for all its flaws we really believed America was better than this.
We were wrong about all of it.
We were wrong to believe that white people weaned for decades on supremacy, would suddenly embrace disparate humanity and make more space at the table.
We were wrong to believe that white Evangelicals would finally have the scales fall from their eyes and abandon their blind adoration of this vile, narcissistic false prophet of grievance, and once again embrace the expansive, compassionate heart of Jesus.
We were wrong to believe that kindness and science and facts and truth and goodness would be found more valuable than the fool's gold of a sneering, star-spangled, American greatness.
We were wrong to hope that more Republicans would cross party lines in order to defend their country from the greatest terrorist threat in our lifetime.
We were wrong to believe that collective hope would rise up to cast out irrational fear.
And most of all, we were wrong about people we know and love and live alongside and work with and study beside; about our parents, spouses, siblings, uncles, best friends, and neighbors. They are not the people we thought they were and we do not live in the country we thought we lived in.
We believed the best about this nation and we were mistaken.
To many oppressed and vulnerable communities, to people who have long known the depth of America's sickness because they have experienced it in traffic stops and workplace mistreatment and opportunity inequity and the hateful words of strangers—this may be less shocking news than it is to those of us with greater privilege and more buffers to adversity and the luxury of naiveté.
But this is the sober spot in which we stand now: realizing that our optimism about the whole of this nation was misplaced,
our prayers for the better angels of so many Christians were unanswered,
our childish illusions that people were indeed basically good and decent, seared away in their reaffirmation of something that the rest of the watching world finds reprehensible.
And now, we're left with two terribly unfortunate choices: leave the America we have, because it is so very different than the America we hoped for—or stay, realizing that we are surrounded by so many people for whom cruelty is not only not a deal-breaker but a selling point.
We’re left to wonder how we can find peace in a place we know is less safe and less decent and less kind than we wanted—not because of any politician but because of those who embraced him a third time; people who share our kitchen tables and churches and break rooms and cul-de-sacs.
I don't know what the right decision is.
Right now, the only thing I know is that I expected something fully beautiful and life-affirming was going to mark this day and it hasn’t.
I was certain we were better than him but we just aren’t, at least far too many of us aren’t.
I was so sure that even though I know hatred dies hard, that America was finally going to let love have the last, loudest word.
And I was wrong.
Or maybe, I just have to wait a little while longer to be right.
Either way, I now feel like a foreigner in my homeland—and that’s gonna take some getting used to.
Dear John (and all this community--we're all part of it),
I feel your pain, acutely and empathetically. We're all in this together, as Joyce Vance (and many others) say. I read this poem earlier today, which perfectly captures how I feel about the state of things. Peace and love, Dave
Holding Vigil
My cousin asks if I can describe this moment,
the heaviness of it, like sitting outside
the operating room while someone you love
is in surgery and you’re on those awful plastic chairs
eating flaming Doritos from the vending machine
which is the only thing that seems appealing to you, dinner-wise,
waiting for the moment when the doctor will come out
in her scrubs and face-mask, which she’ll pull down
to tell you whether your beloved will live or not. That’s how it feels
as the hours tick by, and everyone I care about
is texting me with the same cold lump of dread in their throat
asking if I’m okay, telling me how scared they are.
I suppose in that way this is a moment of unity,
the fact that we are all waiting in the same
hospital corridor, for the same patient, who is on life support,
and we’re asking each other, Will he wake up?
Will she be herself? And we’re taking turns holding vigil,
as families do, and bringing each other coffee
from the cafeteria, and some of us think she’s gonna make it
while others are already planning what they’ll wear to the funeral,
which is also what happens at times like these,
and
I tell my cousin I don’t think I can describe this moment,
heavier than plutonium, but on the other hand,
in the grand scheme of things, I mean the whole sweep
of human history, a soap bubble, because empires
are always rising and falling, and whole civilizations
die, they do, they get wiped out, this happens
all the time, it’s just a shock when it happens to your civilization,
your country, when it’s someone from your family on the respirator,
and I don’t ask her how she’s sleeping, or what she thinks about
when she wakes at three in the morning,
cause she’s got two daughters,
and that’s the thing,
it’s not just us older people, forget about us, we had our day
and we burned right through it, gasoline, fast food,
cheap clothing,
but right now I’m talking about the babies,
and not just the human ones, but also the turtles and owls
and white tigers, the Redwoods, the ozone layer,
the icebergs for the love of God—every single
blessed being on the face of this earth
is holding its breath in this moment,
and if you’re asking, can I describe that, Cousin,
then I’ve gotta say no, no one could describe it
we all just have to live through it,
holding each other’s hands.
- Alison Luterman
Beautifully written but there’s a HUGE piece missing and no one seems to want to call it out. FOX “news”, Newsmax and OAN have done nothing but LIE and spread hateful messaging to the country over the air and on tv for the past 8 years or longer. The Democrats didn’t miss anything. Since the election results, the main stream media has been going in circles trying to explain how the Democrats missed the mark yet no one will call the conservative propaganda outlets for their role in poisoning the minds of Americans, in particular under educated voters.