The change of the calendar provides us a time to thoughtfully rewind through the previous twelve months: to inventory our decisions, to reflect on upon all we’ve seen and experienced and to make grand plans for the coming year.
Do not give into the temptation to be incessantly outraged. So much of what happens is distraction. Pay attention to what else is happening beneath the superficial distractions, and use your energy to fight what they really care about.
Hubby and I promised we'd travel and "see the world" when we retired. Two heart attacks before he was 47 and subsequent illness made that impossible. He passed at 61. We never traveled.
Since then I have been to 45 different states with my mother (she just died at 91.) Now traveling with my sister.
My plan is to avoid taking anything for granted! Many of us did this in November, which made that month a living hell :( For the new year I will strive to: Focus on the positive, begin each new day w/gratitude, maintain a sense of humor & use my senior energy reserve to fight like hell when necessary! And as always: Pray for peace on Earth & drink wine :)
Love this! When we collectively say, "Well, we're in for a long 4 years", we are giving the forces who demand our attention, the control it craves. Four years is a long time for enjoying laughter, and fun, and falling down and getting back up again, and drinking wine with good friends, and loving our fur babies. Let's not waste a single day wallowing in their dither.
It's disconcerting how much this post spoke to me! But there's a reason it found me, I'm sure. It's timely and an excellent reminder. I've been spending a lot of time in my own head lately analyzing how to "fix" myself, wondering if I'm being lazy because I believe I'm doing less than my colleagues, and worrying if I care too much or not enough. The minute I set boundaries, I feel like I'm being a jerk and yet I know it's necessary. For right now I'm going to breathe deeply, appreciate the view from my living room window which includes four squirrels chasing each other up and down a tree, and plan to welcome the new year with my husband, card games, and probably guacamole and chips for dinner. Grace and peace in the year ahead.
One resolution worth keeping is to lower your expectations for others. Your overly high expectations for your spouse, your family, your friends, and especially for the people in power, lead to disappointment, depression, and/or anger.
I am not saying to have no expectations. I do believe we should hold people accountable when necessary. One example might be a friend who constantly stands us up at last minute causing us to abandon plans that may have brought us joy. It is a reasonable expectation for your friend to be more careful about her scheduling. It would be an unreasonable expectation that she never cancel.
Sorry for the long comment! I really should resolve to learn to practice brevity. 😀
Procrastination, doomscrolling, yep, things I need to gently let go of, spend more time reading, writing, listening, watching, praying, being present in the moment.
Don't wear a mask because "no one else is" is a great way to mess up your year! COVID's still around. NOROVIRUS too is surging. Flu is quite happy to find you. If you get sick, nothing much else will be able to be done or not done. Instead, be smarter about your health and show the Jimmy Carter kind of care for others to ensure you don't mess up their year. And model Pres. Carter by being kind in every way to others as best you can.
Small changes count too. Last year, I started a habit of making the bed every day. I have animals who are spoiled and don’t want to get up, so some days it might be late afternoon before it is made lol. But the silly, small act makes me feel a little more grounded and a little more at peace walking into a neat space.
As an 80 year old widow living with myself in the back of beyond......downeast Maine......I would suggest that we don't ever consider that we have successfully achieved any of your suggestions. Living life, interacting with others, putting ourselves in new or unpredictable situations (often inadvertantly),and maintaining openness and humility make for a rich life where self-perception is often being tweaked. Opennes and self-acceptance are important to me......as well as accepting others (look for that tiny little light within).
A lovely outlook, Janet. I wager that you have beautiful views and wildlife to enjoy, cook yourself comforting food and have both cozy blankets and a fire in your heart to keep you warm.
Absolutely! I love my life and all within it! It’s been a peaks and valleys sort of life…….but I have somehow emerged with a thread of love that I feel for myself and others.
Loving and valuing myself has been a challenge. As I grew up, it was expected that I would do well and I was not praised or affirmed. I was, however, corrected it I did something less than well.
I had no "affirming" script to tell myself. I had to develop my own. It has taken a long time for me to love myself.......and somehow that is very much a part of loving others. I had to have the thread before I could share it with others.......and there is great joy in the sharing.
John, this is absolutely the best thing I, or anyone else, could read this first day of the new year. Let's all give ourselves and each other permission to be human. Thanks very much!
I thank you, John, from the bottom of my "overly" sensitive, empathic heart. I was nearly taken down today after reading of our Southern resident Orca, Tahlequah, once again carrying her dead newborn calf on her nose. It felt like a piece of my heart died. I'd already felt the mass shooting event yesterday and managed through my emotions as best I could. Then the orca. I began to make mistakes at work and resolved (again) to stop paying attention to news. It never works because I know that when we stop caring, worse happens. Your balanced and eloquent words were sorely needed today. My gratitude to you.
What a GREAT post John! I would only add one thing for the New Year, not to mess it up but perhaps to make it better: as Paulo Coelho said: "Learn to love better."
Do not give into the temptation to be incessantly outraged. So much of what happens is distraction. Pay attention to what else is happening beneath the superficial distractions, and use your energy to fight what they really care about.
Don't wait to live your dreams.
Hubby and I promised we'd travel and "see the world" when we retired. Two heart attacks before he was 47 and subsequent illness made that impossible. He passed at 61. We never traveled.
Since then I have been to 45 different states with my mother (she just died at 91.) Now traveling with my sister.
My advice ... just DO IT!
My plan is to avoid taking anything for granted! Many of us did this in November, which made that month a living hell :( For the new year I will strive to: Focus on the positive, begin each new day w/gratitude, maintain a sense of humor & use my senior energy reserve to fight like hell when necessary! And as always: Pray for peace on Earth & drink wine :)
Love this! When we collectively say, "Well, we're in for a long 4 years", we are giving the forces who demand our attention, the control it craves. Four years is a long time for enjoying laughter, and fun, and falling down and getting back up again, and drinking wine with good friends, and loving our fur babies. Let's not waste a single day wallowing in their dither.
Excellent!
It's disconcerting how much this post spoke to me! But there's a reason it found me, I'm sure. It's timely and an excellent reminder. I've been spending a lot of time in my own head lately analyzing how to "fix" myself, wondering if I'm being lazy because I believe I'm doing less than my colleagues, and worrying if I care too much or not enough. The minute I set boundaries, I feel like I'm being a jerk and yet I know it's necessary. For right now I'm going to breathe deeply, appreciate the view from my living room window which includes four squirrels chasing each other up and down a tree, and plan to welcome the new year with my husband, card games, and probably guacamole and chips for dinner. Grace and peace in the year ahead.
💙🫂💙🕊💙
One resolution worth keeping is to lower your expectations for others. Your overly high expectations for your spouse, your family, your friends, and especially for the people in power, lead to disappointment, depression, and/or anger.
I am not saying to have no expectations. I do believe we should hold people accountable when necessary. One example might be a friend who constantly stands us up at last minute causing us to abandon plans that may have brought us joy. It is a reasonable expectation for your friend to be more careful about her scheduling. It would be an unreasonable expectation that she never cancel.
Sorry for the long comment! I really should resolve to learn to practice brevity. 😀
In my life I determined to not expect what another was not capable of doing or giving…based on their actions not my expectations.
Including myself.
Procrastination, doomscrolling, yep, things I need to gently let go of, spend more time reading, writing, listening, watching, praying, being present in the moment.
The thing that caught my eye in your post was "things I need to GENTLY let go of...spoke VOLUMES to me! 💙🕊💙
Yes! Bruce, that was also jumped out at me. Gently <3
Don't wear a mask because "no one else is" is a great way to mess up your year! COVID's still around. NOROVIRUS too is surging. Flu is quite happy to find you. If you get sick, nothing much else will be able to be done or not done. Instead, be smarter about your health and show the Jimmy Carter kind of care for others to ensure you don't mess up their year. And model Pres. Carter by being kind in every way to others as best you can.
All great advice!!
Small changes count too. Last year, I started a habit of making the bed every day. I have animals who are spoiled and don’t want to get up, so some days it might be late afternoon before it is made lol. But the silly, small act makes me feel a little more grounded and a little more at peace walking into a neat space.
One of the best pieces I’ve read lately. And will read again too.
As an 80 year old widow living with myself in the back of beyond......downeast Maine......I would suggest that we don't ever consider that we have successfully achieved any of your suggestions. Living life, interacting with others, putting ourselves in new or unpredictable situations (often inadvertantly),and maintaining openness and humility make for a rich life where self-perception is often being tweaked. Opennes and self-acceptance are important to me......as well as accepting others (look for that tiny little light within).
A lovely outlook, Janet. I wager that you have beautiful views and wildlife to enjoy, cook yourself comforting food and have both cozy blankets and a fire in your heart to keep you warm.
Absolutely! I love my life and all within it! It’s been a peaks and valleys sort of life…….but I have somehow emerged with a thread of love that I feel for myself and others.
That thread of love is the key. Sometimes I forget to include myself in it, but not for long anymore. Blessings to you in this fresh year.
Loving and valuing myself has been a challenge. As I grew up, it was expected that I would do well and I was not praised or affirmed. I was, however, corrected it I did something less than well.
I had no "affirming" script to tell myself. I had to develop my own. It has taken a long time for me to love myself.......and somehow that is very much a part of loving others. I had to have the thread before I could share it with others.......and there is great joy in the sharing.
John, this is absolutely the best thing I, or anyone else, could read this first day of the new year. Let's all give ourselves and each other permission to be human. Thanks very much!
I thank you, John, from the bottom of my "overly" sensitive, empathic heart. I was nearly taken down today after reading of our Southern resident Orca, Tahlequah, once again carrying her dead newborn calf on her nose. It felt like a piece of my heart died. I'd already felt the mass shooting event yesterday and managed through my emotions as best I could. Then the orca. I began to make mistakes at work and resolved (again) to stop paying attention to news. It never works because I know that when we stop caring, worse happens. Your balanced and eloquent words were sorely needed today. My gratitude to you.
What a GREAT post John! I would only add one thing for the New Year, not to mess it up but perhaps to make it better: as Paulo Coelho said: "Learn to love better."
Ahhh!
Keeping on file as a reminder. Thanks John