Dear Jesus, Do I Really Have to Love My Enemies?

Photo by Eris Setiawan on Unsplash

"You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. - Jesus

Dear Jesus,

Today I realized something about me that makes me a bit sick to my stomach, something I’m embarrassed to admit: I may not be all that interested in loving my enemies after all.

It sure sounded like a nice idea a few years ago, though. Man, back then I could drop that bad boy into online conversation and my writing like nobody's business. It was one of my go-to, sure-fire, sanctified mic drops, whenever I encountered hateful people who also claimed faith.

When they tried to fake me out and go all "Hate the sin, love the sinner", I'd toss your words out like a truth grenade and make them think about their hypocrisy of speaking love while actually being terrible to people, attacking them, vilifying them, and ghosting them.
I'd lecture them that their refusal to show kindness and decency to someone, even someone they vehemently disagreed with—was disobedience to Jesus.
I'd remind them that Christians are defined by the way they treat those they believe to be their adversaries—and I'd walk away from those unrepentant enemy-haters feeling pretty darn superior.

But things are different now.
Now the idea doesn't sit well with me.
Suddenly, enemy love seems downright offensive.
Suddenly, it's less than mandatory.
Suddenly, it's up for negotiation.

It was a lot easier to aspire to loving my enemies when they didn't seem so close, so loud, and so prevalent; when I didn't have so many daily reminders of just how much loving I'm now required to do.

I now have to love my enemy across the table at family gatherings.
I have to love my enemy on my dear friend's social media profiles.
I have to love my enemy in my neighbor's driveway.
I have to love my enemy in the carpool line.
I have to love my enemy at the gym who interrupts my workout with unsolicited opinions.
I have to love my enemy at restaurants who I can overhear in the booth next to me.
I have to love my enemy driving in front of me on the highway.
I have to love my enemy at my former church.
I have to love my enemy at my current church.

Loving my enemies now seems a lot more labor intensive and a lot more complicated than it used to. To be honest, when I see some of the things these people are saying, the hatred they're perpetuating, and the damage they're inflicting—I'm not that interested in loving them.

In fact, withholding love right now seems like the right message to send them, to let them know how displeased I am by them. Loving them right now would actually be condoning their behavior, and so hating them feels almost virtuous, almost righteous. (Hmm, now, where have I heard that before?)

But seriously, how can you expect me to properly people who are being oppressed and to love those oppressing them? To be honest, that sounds like God-tier stuff that’s way above my pay grade and outside my jurisdiction.

I guess I’m trying to convince myself that you’re okay with this; that my mistreatment of my enemies is something you bless; that it is me embodying your teachings because by refraining from loving my enemies, I’m loving the least of these (which you also commanded me to do). I think I can tell myself a story that allows me some wiggle room and I might even believe it.

I just hope that in a conversation today, no one tosses out your words to me like a truth grenade and makes me think about my hypocrisy of speaking love while being terrible to people, attacking them, vilifying them, ghosting them.

Otherwise, I may have to add another enemy to my list.