There is no way to negotiate or manage the moral incompatibility we have with this man and instead of just naming it (nothing is new in what you have written for me. Black women have known this for a long, long time), we need to organize and demand that the media stop sanewashing his behaviors, fight the push for Christian Nationalism, and demand that the Democratic Party and elected leaders actively and loudly resist and demand the respect we deserve as Americans and refuse to acknowledge him as President until he signs the ethical agreement papers. They want us to feel powerless. White people need to gain some stamina and get in the ring with us. We are the guardrails to his behaviors. Give to the ACLU, join groups fighting the call for Christian Nationalism, write letters to congress, support groups that teach the skill sets to fight effectively and with radical respect that doesn't mirror their ugliness.
We got this! And I am not being a cheerleader here but a happy warrior. FIGHT.
Thank you, Deborah. I will do what I can to join your happy warriors. We must not succumb to this same fear and to this hate and idiocy. I'm all in. Like, John, I want to be able to sleep again.
Very true. Let's do what we can to convince him that they are *really* the presidents and he is just their puppet. Maybe he'll get paranoid and jealous and have a lovely public split with them. In this case, I believe chaos will be our friend.
Thank you for this, John. For the past 8 years I've been part of a Bible study group in which there are several women who are Trump supporters. I've always worked to point out how Trump was neither a good leader nor a Christ-follower, that there is no love in him except for love of self. I always did so in a respectful way, often times not even mentioning Trump specifically but pointing out actions that were not loving. It's interesting that when i pointed at those behaviors and actions separately they agreed that they were not loving or Christ-like, but as soon as his name was mentioned they would not attribute those actions to him, but to false media reporting. [They were never able to think critically and understand that it is less plausible for that many different sources to report on reprehensible comments and actions as part of some conspiracy.] Since this election I've struggled with deciding whether to stay in the Bible study group. After all, it is now clear to me that these women are not women from whom I would take any spiritual guidance. I was about to call them quits. Now I am thinking that perhaps it would be better to stay as part of the group to continue to gently and lovingly guide them, while recognizing that I will not benefit similarly from their guidance. I am hurt. I am angry. I am disappointed. I am disgusted. But now we must continue to stand for what is right and resist the enactment of even more reviling statutes and the undoing of the human rights progress achieved over the past 50 years.
Thank you for sharing this. I have had similar experiences. I chose to go off social media so I didn’t have to see the “stuff” some people I know are posting. I am United Methodist,and a group of people chose to leave our church a couple of years ago because it wasn’t conservative enough. Some of them do still participate in small groups they had belonged to before leaving. The rest of us are purposefully continuing to treat them in a loving manner. We quite disagree with how they think marginalized peoples should be treated but we feel that if we are really Jesus followers, then we must reach out in love. Maybe they’ll have an epiphany and realize this is how all should be treated?
United Methodist, here, too. I can no longer associate with those MAGAts, no matter now long I've known them and how much we've been together. They are unreachable. It's time to stay with my own peeps and to build my own little pockets of empathy.
I totally understand. I’m only with these people once a week, and they are not obnoxious—and we never discuss politics. We did try going to a different Sunday School class after the class we’d been going to folded. Oh, dear. One woman told me I was wrong for reading Scripture on the Bible app because “they” are changing the Scripture on the Bible app. Ummm, no, I don’t think so. We found another class.
Thank you John. Fear and hate are so closely aligned they are almost indistinguishable from one another. Unfortunately many religions institutionalize both. Once people convince themselves that God has preordained someone to lead all logic, previously held values and empathy for others flies out the window..and only the fear and hate remain…
John suggested that, at lest in the past, our President is “the leader of the ‘free world’”. But it is that actually so? He didn’t quite win a majority of the votes in his own country. And I’d dare say he wouldn’t win a majority outside our country either. In his addled mind he has a mandate to dictate his beliefs on us the whole world but that’s just not true. Let’s see how those countries on which there will be exacted a heavy tariff and be adversely affected will feel. They cannot fight him or fire him. But we can. Hopefully sooner rather than later because the plight of that free world and our own country rests in the balance.
Hi all. I agree with everything you say, John, but I think the whole fear thing is a coverup for just basic bog-standard bigotry, resentment, and the greed that comes with white (especially white male) privilege. Fear is a convenient excuse: "I'm afraid of [sic] illegals taking my job" (never gonna happen); "I'm afraid of Muslims/Jews/Pick-Your-Own-Religion-to-Despise/Atheists who are going to take over America" (never gonna happen); "I'm afraid of my son coming home from school one day after having involuntary sex-change surgery" (I mean: WTF???). Fear is something that generates sympathy. Anger, hatred, resentment, greed, the desire to dominate and abuse: these are not very sympathetic emotions and so people who feel them avoid expressing them because they seek sympathy. The Felon-in-Chief, like others before him--not just people like Hitler, Stalin, Tito, Mussolini, Franco but also pretty much every historical church leader (including a ton of popes and Martin Luther, John Calvin, etc) as well as all of your basic imperialists around the globe--has simply been clever enough to tap into that tsunami of hatred and resentment and elevated it. He has said "I feel sympathy for your hate, for your resentment, for your desire to dominate: I feel these things too." And so he makes it acceptable for people to express that to like-minded folks but to use the nifty cloak of "fear" to the rest of us. So that we have no way to respond to it, because we are socially conditioned to respond to fear with sympathy and understanding. I, for one, have no desire to be sympathetic.
There were so many who didn't even bother to vote, yet there are plenty who don't hesitate to give an opinion on anything and everything on social media.
Why not give your opinion when it actually counts for something?
During the first two years of the worst of COVID, I, for a hospitality/meetings publication for which I then wrote attended the WHO virtual press conferences. Those of us from a wide spectrum of countries representing different business segments tried to understand the impact. One of the non-US journalists I followed asked helpful questions. On LinkedIn, they posted what I thought an innocuous question - with a photo of VP Harris and her spouse: “what good words did you have to offer them?” was asked. I started to respond til I read the other responses: hate, unbridled hate, to the point I reported it all. I realized the question was a set-up to release more fear and hate. I had sensed this journalist was conservative and given the country and continent represented, I understood. There is a big red line between conservative and hate or there was. Hate engenders fear and vv. It is all distressing. And yes, Carol O and others, it’s not even officially Day 1 and I’m exhausted.
Exhausted here also. I can't watch the news, engage in any political discussions with anyone. My husband watches the news and I just leave the room, go upstairs and want no updates. I had a meltdown in 2016, and this time I just can't deal with the idiocy.
Yes, yes, yes. John, I think you and I must know some of the same people! What’s been painful for me is to see people I’ve known for many years fall into this way of being. What a horrible way to go through life, in fear and full of hate! One cannot possibly feel true joy when engulfed by hate and fear. Most of the people I know who are so smitten with Trump also loudly profess to be Christian, and they love to tell everyone about their “personal relationship with Jesus.” Some while back, I realized that there’s no reasoning with these people. They are going to believe what they want to believe, even if their beliefs directly contradict what Jesus teaches us. I finally realized that I need to work on myself and act in love towards the Trump followers and everyone else. I also pray for them to be imbued with the Holy Spirit.
The good news is that this means the movement will not last beyond Trump. There's no way Vance is going to have that kind of power over people, and all his advisers already have their knives out and are jockeying for position in a power vacuum none of them can fill.
There is no way to negotiate or manage the moral incompatibility we have with this man and instead of just naming it (nothing is new in what you have written for me. Black women have known this for a long, long time), we need to organize and demand that the media stop sanewashing his behaviors, fight the push for Christian Nationalism, and demand that the Democratic Party and elected leaders actively and loudly resist and demand the respect we deserve as Americans and refuse to acknowledge him as President until he signs the ethical agreement papers. They want us to feel powerless. White people need to gain some stamina and get in the ring with us. We are the guardrails to his behaviors. Give to the ACLU, join groups fighting the call for Christian Nationalism, write letters to congress, support groups that teach the skill sets to fight effectively and with radical respect that doesn't mirror their ugliness.
We got this! And I am not being a cheerleader here but a happy warrior. FIGHT.
Thank you, Deborah. I will do what I can to join your happy warriors. We must not succumb to this same fear and to this hate and idiocy. I'm all in. Like, John, I want to be able to sleep again.
Yep. He's living rent free in our minds and robbing us off our mental health. Enough of us fighting effectively together can carry us all forward.
It’s going to be a long four years.
Thanks John. I still fear the people around him who are smarter and devious. They will be shadow leaders. He is not that bright.
And they all are manipulative. “Smart” needs a new understanding when it lacks empathy.
Very true. Let's do what we can to convince him that they are *really* the presidents and he is just their puppet. Maybe he'll get paranoid and jealous and have a lovely public split with them. In this case, I believe chaos will be our friend.
His Misadministration is going to be a shark tank. They'll all be fighting and backstabbing each other.
Thank you for this, John. For the past 8 years I've been part of a Bible study group in which there are several women who are Trump supporters. I've always worked to point out how Trump was neither a good leader nor a Christ-follower, that there is no love in him except for love of self. I always did so in a respectful way, often times not even mentioning Trump specifically but pointing out actions that were not loving. It's interesting that when i pointed at those behaviors and actions separately they agreed that they were not loving or Christ-like, but as soon as his name was mentioned they would not attribute those actions to him, but to false media reporting. [They were never able to think critically and understand that it is less plausible for that many different sources to report on reprehensible comments and actions as part of some conspiracy.] Since this election I've struggled with deciding whether to stay in the Bible study group. After all, it is now clear to me that these women are not women from whom I would take any spiritual guidance. I was about to call them quits. Now I am thinking that perhaps it would be better to stay as part of the group to continue to gently and lovingly guide them, while recognizing that I will not benefit similarly from their guidance. I am hurt. I am angry. I am disappointed. I am disgusted. But now we must continue to stand for what is right and resist the enactment of even more reviling statutes and the undoing of the human rights progress achieved over the past 50 years.
Thank you for sharing this. I have had similar experiences. I chose to go off social media so I didn’t have to see the “stuff” some people I know are posting. I am United Methodist,and a group of people chose to leave our church a couple of years ago because it wasn’t conservative enough. Some of them do still participate in small groups they had belonged to before leaving. The rest of us are purposefully continuing to treat them in a loving manner. We quite disagree with how they think marginalized peoples should be treated but we feel that if we are really Jesus followers, then we must reach out in love. Maybe they’ll have an epiphany and realize this is how all should be treated?
United Methodist, here, too. I can no longer associate with those MAGAts, no matter now long I've known them and how much we've been together. They are unreachable. It's time to stay with my own peeps and to build my own little pockets of empathy.
I totally understand. I’m only with these people once a week, and they are not obnoxious—and we never discuss politics. We did try going to a different Sunday School class after the class we’d been going to folded. Oh, dear. One woman told me I was wrong for reading Scripture on the Bible app because “they” are changing the Scripture on the Bible app. Ummm, no, I don’t think so. We found another class.
I don't think your efforts will matter, except to you. They're past reasoning. Don't let it affect your mental and emotional health.
Thank you John. Fear and hate are so closely aligned they are almost indistinguishable from one another. Unfortunately many religions institutionalize both. Once people convince themselves that God has preordained someone to lead all logic, previously held values and empathy for others flies out the window..and only the fear and hate remain…
John suggested that, at lest in the past, our President is “the leader of the ‘free world’”. But it is that actually so? He didn’t quite win a majority of the votes in his own country. And I’d dare say he wouldn’t win a majority outside our country either. In his addled mind he has a mandate to dictate his beliefs on us the whole world but that’s just not true. Let’s see how those countries on which there will be exacted a heavy tariff and be adversely affected will feel. They cannot fight him or fire him. But we can. Hopefully sooner rather than later because the plight of that free world and our own country rests in the balance.
Hi all. I agree with everything you say, John, but I think the whole fear thing is a coverup for just basic bog-standard bigotry, resentment, and the greed that comes with white (especially white male) privilege. Fear is a convenient excuse: "I'm afraid of [sic] illegals taking my job" (never gonna happen); "I'm afraid of Muslims/Jews/Pick-Your-Own-Religion-to-Despise/Atheists who are going to take over America" (never gonna happen); "I'm afraid of my son coming home from school one day after having involuntary sex-change surgery" (I mean: WTF???). Fear is something that generates sympathy. Anger, hatred, resentment, greed, the desire to dominate and abuse: these are not very sympathetic emotions and so people who feel them avoid expressing them because they seek sympathy. The Felon-in-Chief, like others before him--not just people like Hitler, Stalin, Tito, Mussolini, Franco but also pretty much every historical church leader (including a ton of popes and Martin Luther, John Calvin, etc) as well as all of your basic imperialists around the globe--has simply been clever enough to tap into that tsunami of hatred and resentment and elevated it. He has said "I feel sympathy for your hate, for your resentment, for your desire to dominate: I feel these things too." And so he makes it acceptable for people to express that to like-minded folks but to use the nifty cloak of "fear" to the rest of us. So that we have no way to respond to it, because we are socially conditioned to respond to fear with sympathy and understanding. I, for one, have no desire to be sympathetic.
Propaganda works.
There were so many who didn't even bother to vote, yet there are plenty who don't hesitate to give an opinion on anything and everything on social media.
Why not give your opinion when it actually counts for something?
Agree and I would add “greed.”
And selfishness. A particularly thoughtful friend says selfishness is the root of all sin. I’ve been pondering that a lot.
During the first two years of the worst of COVID, I, for a hospitality/meetings publication for which I then wrote attended the WHO virtual press conferences. Those of us from a wide spectrum of countries representing different business segments tried to understand the impact. One of the non-US journalists I followed asked helpful questions. On LinkedIn, they posted what I thought an innocuous question - with a photo of VP Harris and her spouse: “what good words did you have to offer them?” was asked. I started to respond til I read the other responses: hate, unbridled hate, to the point I reported it all. I realized the question was a set-up to release more fear and hate. I had sensed this journalist was conservative and given the country and continent represented, I understood. There is a big red line between conservative and hate or there was. Hate engenders fear and vv. It is all distressing. And yes, Carol O and others, it’s not even officially Day 1 and I’m exhausted.
Exhausted here also. I can't watch the news, engage in any political discussions with anyone. My husband watches the news and I just leave the room, go upstairs and want no updates. I had a meltdown in 2016, and this time I just can't deal with the idiocy.
Yes, yes, yes. John, I think you and I must know some of the same people! What’s been painful for me is to see people I’ve known for many years fall into this way of being. What a horrible way to go through life, in fear and full of hate! One cannot possibly feel true joy when engulfed by hate and fear. Most of the people I know who are so smitten with Trump also loudly profess to be Christian, and they love to tell everyone about their “personal relationship with Jesus.” Some while back, I realized that there’s no reasoning with these people. They are going to believe what they want to believe, even if their beliefs directly contradict what Jesus teaches us. I finally realized that I need to work on myself and act in love towards the Trump followers and everyone else. I also pray for them to be imbued with the Holy Spirit.
The good news is that this means the movement will not last beyond Trump. There's no way Vance is going to have that kind of power over people, and all his advisers already have their knives out and are jockeying for position in a power vacuum none of them can fill.
MAGA dies with Trump.
John. You just confirmed what I have felt for a very long time. Fear. And the cult around it. Sigh.
Great piece today! Thank you for your thoughtful ideas on overcoming the fearful ones.
Well said, John. Fear, rage and hatred are trump's currency of access, and like he said "I bring rage out". Let's go get him.
Agree and Amen