Thank you for posting such a raw and honest view of depression. My dad suffered with this, and just getting himself out of bed was a huge effort. I can remember guilting him into it by saying he was depressing the hell out of my brother! I had once thought my dad was a weak man, but when a bout of "situational depression" hits me with a day or two of feeling down, I realize he was the storngest man I know. He struggled but he stayed. Now, with the cruelty and chaos of Shitler's administration, I hadn't considered how it could be the last straw for people on the edge. We all need to support each other and stand against this. We can't let the evil win.
I'm editing in this PS: I'll no longer think people who aren't watching the news and not getting engaged are fools or cowards - they may be saving themselves in the only way they know how. I will let them be and offer only love and not judgment.
I don't know... It's either now, by choice - or later in a prison in El Salvador. Some of us are facing those options. It's getting more and more difficult to hang on for my own sake - so I am hanging on for the sake of my parents in Ukraine.
My weekend was very scary. I was more depressed than I've ever been and I couldn't get out of it. But one thing I just didn't get on my phone. But yeah I'm at the precipice
I have been in that type of situation a while ago when nothing was making sense around me and when a voice inside myself was telling me that I no longer needed to make shade onto this planet and that my presence is so insignificant that nobody would notice if I go ...
But then I thought of my children... of how would they feel after I was gone, what would they believe of their mother bailing out on them and I imagined the crippled life they would have ahead of them and I said NO !
I may not be perfect, I know that I am flawed, I don't have results to show off with but I damn know that I am worthy with my imperfections and that God gave me this beautiful Life to enjoy and live to the fullest ❤️
Nobody will ever be able to steal my Joy and Faith and I am 💯 sure that I can show others that depression is a fight that can be won !
So please don't get discouraged and know that you are Not alone in this fight !
Thank you for your reply. It just seems the battle gets harder. The older you get it's harder to deal with it. My friend called me. I was her last call 2 years ago in March and she said goodbye that she was taking her life and and she did. She was a friend of 40 years so I get it. She just kept telling me she was tired and I knew she was going to do it. She lived in Nevada. I'm in Seattle. I had a police at her door in 20 minutes and it took a week to find her. That really hit me hard. Since then I've just kind of been spiraling downward myself with so much stress and loss. But I'm a hanger and I'm hanging on. Thanks for your share
John. So glad you stayed on this planet. We need you to make sense of all the insanity around us. I refuse to let the crazies win and my faith sustains me in the really hard times. I truly believe good will win over this evil he perpetrates and things will get better. Keep the faith and know many of us are praying for you.
This really hits home for me. It's as if you read my thoughts. Not to worry, I would never hurt myself. Much less kill myself because I think that is one of the most selfish acts a person can do. But I do feel like I am now very much alone, physically and emotionally. The re-election of DJT has exacerbated those feelings. I haven't been the happy person I knew 10 years ago for a while. I don't recognize myself many days. I hide it well because I am alone and when I am with my friends, I am a little bit more like myself because they do make me happy. I don't know if it's good or bad that they don't recognize how much pain I'm in. If they do recognize it, they don't say anything to me. It's been a slow, steady decline so maybe they've just gotten used to me being the wallflower I am today as opposed to the person that could "light up a room" I have been told I was for the first 60 years of my life. However, I do have a good reason to take care of myself (except for the fact that I still smoke cigarettes) I want to live long enough to outlive my dog. She's a rescue and I don't want to leave her alone and having to find another human to love her.
My point in commenting on your piece, is not to get sympathy but more to add to your words. And to thank you for seeing me. As we get older, we become more and more "invisible". As a result, we become to feel insignificant, especially if we're in a vulnerable state of being. Pay attention to the elderly. (I'm 71 years old and I don't consider myself elderly until I look in the mirror- LOL.) Loneliness is hard to spot in a stranger. Say hello and give a good smile to as many people as you can make eye contact with. I'm always trying to make conversations with cashiers and strangers that I might meet in a nursery or even a protest march. I'll be going to the Solidarity, March here in Knoxville on Saturday. It'll be rough on this old gray mayor but I need to go. I need to do something. I don't have the energy to do a lot. But this I can because something tells me there will be enough energy around me to pick me up and make me smile. So I will go and I will "grieve and cry out and speak every sorrow and explode with fury so that I can get it all that is within me out".
I hear you, and I see you when I look in the mirror: I’m 71, gray, and feel invisible at times. I’m also saggy and get laughed at. My lifelong depression flares up and I can’t get out of bed.
But…what you say about connecting with others has saved me several times: I look up and I smile at people. I say hi. Simple as that I get a burst of reassurance. At that moment, there’s good in the world. Keep writing here, Ok?
Angie I'm so glad you're going to the Hands Off march today. I went to Bernie and AOC and it WILL give you positive energy being around like -minded kind and compassionate people. There's waaaay more of us than the greedy bastards in politics and magas who want to destroy us:)
Your words are mine, except I have mobility problems so can’t go to the rally. Yes, as someone said, smiling and saying hi to people we encounter helps. If you can find at least one thing to be joyful about each day, just one, that helps.
Yes... My beloved companion, Josie is the reason I continue to breathe. I just love that girl and she's super special. All my dogs have been super special and they're all in my life at the right time for the right reason and the right demeanor. She's awesome! So that's one thing that keeps me going. Thanks for mentioning your dog
Thank you for this. With giving you credit, I would like to print this and give it to my clients in need. I am a psychotherapist and I find myself talking people off the edge of the pit of a deeper hell on the daily. I have so many who are in despair right now. Getting emails from loved ones that they are in inpatient at such a high level of spped is exhausting. Sometimes blaming myself that they are not better. Then reminding myself that I am not that powerful. because something horrifying is going on right nowl and it sure ain’t just this little debutante.I can’t tell them everything is going to be okay, and somehow that comforts them more than the opposite. I think this meets my approach as a therapist… “don’t paint shit sunny yellow.” Thank you for this (again). It gives me hope and I think it can give others hope on a base primal level. I have shared it with my colleagues as well.
There is a protest in my city this Saturday as are they in many places. There is fear mongering about what will possibly happen to those who attend. Enough to make me afraid to go. If I don’t go, the bastards win.
John, sometimes it feels like you just grabbed a book off my mental bookshelf and read it back to me.
I'm sure you have a pretty good idea of how many times I've been told to pray my way out of depression as a good Christian should. just a good reason not to be a Christian.
It means a lot to those of us walking through it with you, alone, to have it spoken so clearly and visibly.
It’s all true about chronic depression— I’m a 75 yr old women who has successfully endured this state and one has to have strategies to beat it and one needs supportive friends and/or family. The recent trauma for people heavily invested in our stock markets will trigger despair and remind yourself— Trumps regime did it — not your fault.
Yes exactly. It's chronic and it's cyclical. It just comes around and it grabs you and it seems the older I am the harder it is to deal with and I do have no one in my life but my dog. But yeah it just gets exhausting. You know it wears you out when my friend took her life 2 years ago and I was her last call. She just kept saying she was so tired and I understand. I mean logically I wouldn't take my life but sometimes you're in that deep hole. I think you understand and I don't think the rational self is doing the talking at that point
What a moving, touching piece. Please teach us a helpful way to respond, to encourage. By the way, Love is my region-just ordered the shirt this week, and I feel strong love for you and my friends struggling with depression.
John, as you see so many of us, please know we see YOU. Thank you for being you and using your thoughtful, wise, empathetic and loving self to help us all. By recognizing our flaws & having our tribes to support & encourage us thru difficulties, we are much stronger and healthier than those who consider themselves without defects.
Thank you for sharing your personal struggle. It is very easy to despair in these times. You certainly tried all the things that I would have suggested to a client with depression. Things I have used on myself as well. These are dark times, made darker by the danger of economic calamity caused by our reckless and stupid leader(s). I keep a lighted candle in our window to remind myself and I hope others, to be a light in the darkness. Again, Thanks.
Excellent article (as always). I’m going to share this with my stepson, who, like me, suffers from thoughts of harming himself.
My mantra, after going through a particularly bad bout of debilitating depression a couple of years ago, is “this too shall pass”. That won’t work for him, but “don’t let the bastards win” just might.
Thank you John. Once again you have so very eloquently articulated what i have been feeling since the felon in chief frist came to power--the winter of 24 was decidedly difficult. but it is spring, and maybe the green shoots of hope will take hold as we all claim back our country.
At the risk of sounding flippant about something that is very serious, I’m going to give you my mantra for dealing with such depressing times: “illegitimae non carborundum”, which is very vulgar semi-Latin for “Don’t let the bastards wear you down.”
Thank you for posting such a raw and honest view of depression. My dad suffered with this, and just getting himself out of bed was a huge effort. I can remember guilting him into it by saying he was depressing the hell out of my brother! I had once thought my dad was a weak man, but when a bout of "situational depression" hits me with a day or two of feeling down, I realize he was the storngest man I know. He struggled but he stayed. Now, with the cruelty and chaos of Shitler's administration, I hadn't considered how it could be the last straw for people on the edge. We all need to support each other and stand against this. We can't let the evil win.
I'm editing in this PS: I'll no longer think people who aren't watching the news and not getting engaged are fools or cowards - they may be saving themselves in the only way they know how. I will let them be and offer only love and not judgment.
I don't know... It's either now, by choice - or later in a prison in El Salvador. Some of us are facing those options. It's getting more and more difficult to hang on for my own sake - so I am hanging on for the sake of my parents in Ukraine.
My weekend was very scary. I was more depressed than I've ever been and I couldn't get out of it. But one thing I just didn't get on my phone. But yeah I'm at the precipice
I'm so sorry 😞
I have been in that type of situation a while ago when nothing was making sense around me and when a voice inside myself was telling me that I no longer needed to make shade onto this planet and that my presence is so insignificant that nobody would notice if I go ...
But then I thought of my children... of how would they feel after I was gone, what would they believe of their mother bailing out on them and I imagined the crippled life they would have ahead of them and I said NO !
I may not be perfect, I know that I am flawed, I don't have results to show off with but I damn know that I am worthy with my imperfections and that God gave me this beautiful Life to enjoy and live to the fullest ❤️
Nobody will ever be able to steal my Joy and Faith and I am 💯 sure that I can show others that depression is a fight that can be won !
So please don't get discouraged and know that you are Not alone in this fight !
🙏❤️🩹
Thank you for your reply. It just seems the battle gets harder. The older you get it's harder to deal with it. My friend called me. I was her last call 2 years ago in March and she said goodbye that she was taking her life and and she did. She was a friend of 40 years so I get it. She just kept telling me she was tired and I knew she was going to do it. She lived in Nevada. I'm in Seattle. I had a police at her door in 20 minutes and it took a week to find her. That really hit me hard. Since then I've just kind of been spiraling downward myself with so much stress and loss. But I'm a hanger and I'm hanging on. Thanks for your share
🙏❤️🩹
John. So glad you stayed on this planet. We need you to make sense of all the insanity around us. I refuse to let the crazies win and my faith sustains me in the really hard times. I truly believe good will win over this evil he perpetrates and things will get better. Keep the faith and know many of us are praying for you.
This really hits home for me. It's as if you read my thoughts. Not to worry, I would never hurt myself. Much less kill myself because I think that is one of the most selfish acts a person can do. But I do feel like I am now very much alone, physically and emotionally. The re-election of DJT has exacerbated those feelings. I haven't been the happy person I knew 10 years ago for a while. I don't recognize myself many days. I hide it well because I am alone and when I am with my friends, I am a little bit more like myself because they do make me happy. I don't know if it's good or bad that they don't recognize how much pain I'm in. If they do recognize it, they don't say anything to me. It's been a slow, steady decline so maybe they've just gotten used to me being the wallflower I am today as opposed to the person that could "light up a room" I have been told I was for the first 60 years of my life. However, I do have a good reason to take care of myself (except for the fact that I still smoke cigarettes) I want to live long enough to outlive my dog. She's a rescue and I don't want to leave her alone and having to find another human to love her.
My point in commenting on your piece, is not to get sympathy but more to add to your words. And to thank you for seeing me. As we get older, we become more and more "invisible". As a result, we become to feel insignificant, especially if we're in a vulnerable state of being. Pay attention to the elderly. (I'm 71 years old and I don't consider myself elderly until I look in the mirror- LOL.) Loneliness is hard to spot in a stranger. Say hello and give a good smile to as many people as you can make eye contact with. I'm always trying to make conversations with cashiers and strangers that I might meet in a nursery or even a protest march. I'll be going to the Solidarity, March here in Knoxville on Saturday. It'll be rough on this old gray mayor but I need to go. I need to do something. I don't have the energy to do a lot. But this I can because something tells me there will be enough energy around me to pick me up and make me smile. So I will go and I will "grieve and cry out and speak every sorrow and explode with fury so that I can get it all that is within me out".
I hear you, and I see you when I look in the mirror: I’m 71, gray, and feel invisible at times. I’m also saggy and get laughed at. My lifelong depression flares up and I can’t get out of bed.
But…what you say about connecting with others has saved me several times: I look up and I smile at people. I say hi. Simple as that I get a burst of reassurance. At that moment, there’s good in the world. Keep writing here, Ok?
Angie I'm so glad you're going to the Hands Off march today. I went to Bernie and AOC and it WILL give you positive energy being around like -minded kind and compassionate people. There's waaaay more of us than the greedy bastards in politics and magas who want to destroy us:)
Thanks darlin. Boy do I relate.
Your words are mine, except I have mobility problems so can’t go to the rally. Yes, as someone said, smiling and saying hi to people we encounter helps. If you can find at least one thing to be joyful about each day, just one, that helps.
Yes... My beloved companion, Josie is the reason I continue to breathe. I just love that girl and she's super special. All my dogs have been super special and they're all in my life at the right time for the right reason and the right demeanor. She's awesome! So that's one thing that keeps me going. Thanks for mentioning your dog
Angie: I’ll be in Knoxville too! Look for the banner that says “Tennessee Federation of Democratic Women-Roane County” 💙
Thank you for this. With giving you credit, I would like to print this and give it to my clients in need. I am a psychotherapist and I find myself talking people off the edge of the pit of a deeper hell on the daily. I have so many who are in despair right now. Getting emails from loved ones that they are in inpatient at such a high level of spped is exhausting. Sometimes blaming myself that they are not better. Then reminding myself that I am not that powerful. because something horrifying is going on right nowl and it sure ain’t just this little debutante.I can’t tell them everything is going to be okay, and somehow that comforts them more than the opposite. I think this meets my approach as a therapist… “don’t paint shit sunny yellow.” Thank you for this (again). It gives me hope and I think it can give others hope on a base primal level. I have shared it with my colleagues as well.
There is a protest in my city this Saturday as are they in many places. There is fear mongering about what will possibly happen to those who attend. Enough to make me afraid to go. If I don’t go, the bastards win.
John, sometimes it feels like you just grabbed a book off my mental bookshelf and read it back to me.
I'm sure you have a pretty good idea of how many times I've been told to pray my way out of depression as a good Christian should. just a good reason not to be a Christian.
It means a lot to those of us walking through it with you, alone, to have it spoken so clearly and visibly.
Thank you.
Ditto!!
It’s all true about chronic depression— I’m a 75 yr old women who has successfully endured this state and one has to have strategies to beat it and one needs supportive friends and/or family. The recent trauma for people heavily invested in our stock markets will trigger despair and remind yourself— Trumps regime did it — not your fault.
Yes exactly. It's chronic and it's cyclical. It just comes around and it grabs you and it seems the older I am the harder it is to deal with and I do have no one in my life but my dog. But yeah it just gets exhausting. You know it wears you out when my friend took her life 2 years ago and I was her last call. She just kept saying she was so tired and I understand. I mean logically I wouldn't take my life but sometimes you're in that deep hole. I think you understand and I don't think the rational self is doing the talking at that point
John, thank you for another beautiful and insightful message that certainly people like myself can use. Please all, don’t let the bastards win!
We truly need you in this world!
What a moving, touching piece. Please teach us a helpful way to respond, to encourage. By the way, Love is my region-just ordered the shirt this week, and I feel strong love for you and my friends struggling with depression.
John, as you see so many of us, please know we see YOU. Thank you for being you and using your thoughtful, wise, empathetic and loving self to help us all. By recognizing our flaws & having our tribes to support & encourage us thru difficulties, we are much stronger and healthier than those who consider themselves without defects.
Thank you for sharing your personal struggle. It is very easy to despair in these times. You certainly tried all the things that I would have suggested to a client with depression. Things I have used on myself as well. These are dark times, made darker by the danger of economic calamity caused by our reckless and stupid leader(s). I keep a lighted candle in our window to remind myself and I hope others, to be a light in the darkness. Again, Thanks.
Excellent article (as always). I’m going to share this with my stepson, who, like me, suffers from thoughts of harming himself.
My mantra, after going through a particularly bad bout of debilitating depression a couple of years ago, is “this too shall pass”. That won’t work for him, but “don’t let the bastards win” just might.
Thank you so much for sharing. I see myself in your words. You inspire me every day. We need your voice, your insight, and your heart💙
Thank you John for your brave essay on depression. I will share this article and hope it helps others as it did me. My religion is love also!
Thank you John. Once again you have so very eloquently articulated what i have been feeling since the felon in chief frist came to power--the winter of 24 was decidedly difficult. but it is spring, and maybe the green shoots of hope will take hold as we all claim back our country.
At the risk of sounding flippant about something that is very serious, I’m going to give you my mantra for dealing with such depressing times: “illegitimae non carborundum”, which is very vulgar semi-Latin for “Don’t let the bastards wear you down.”