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Aleksander Constantinoropolous's avatar

Not everyone gets mimosas and macaroni art. Some of us get silence. Some of us get flashbacks. And some of us spend Mother's Day holding space for the ache that Hallmark forgot to print.

To those whose hearts are bruised by absence, estrangement, infertility, or grief: you’re not broken—you’re real. You’re the ones loving with eyes wide open, even when it stings.

And maybe, just maybe, that's the holiest kind of motherhood there is: the kind that still shows up to love, even when it hurts like hell.

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Peggy Armstrong's avatar

Beautifully written. Thank you. I needed that.

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steven lassoff's avatar

My favorite line from your post: "May you find in your very sadness the proof that your heart, though badly broken, still works."

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Deb Guenthner's avatar

My thanks for remembering those that hurt on this day.

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Tracey's avatar

Thank you, John. I am one of the sad and grieving. I lost my mom 5 years ago to COVID. I lost my husband 10 years ago to Agent Orange lung cancer. We had no children, but we raised a furbaby together and he would buy me a Mother's Day card every year, as a Cat Mom. They are all gone now and I am left alone, going to the Los Angeles National Cemetery with flowers for mom. 😪💔

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M. A. Porter's avatar

Thank you, John. That is a balm for me today. Both of my sons lived into adulthood and then died within 8 years of each other. They were big-hearted, humorous, and wise fellows. Handsome. There are no words to describe how much I miss them. Today is always difficult, as are all holidays and their birthdays. I know that God is with me as I remain in prayer throughout these days. I am being transformed by grief, and at least just leaning in toward God keeps me on my feet. On a happier note, I am fortunate to have three nieces and two nephews with whom I have loving relationships. They themselves now have young children that are such beautiful little beings it takes my breath away. So today I celebrate them. I am also reading a wonderful book by Richard Rohr called, "The Tears of Things: Prophetic Wisdom in an Age of Outrage." Rohr is a Franciscan priest, but moreso a contemplative who writes with great wisdom and scholarship about God in all religions. This book teaches us about prophets of the Bible and explains what they were doing/saying in their time. I think you are a prophet, John. I think we all can speak truth to power if we will but listen, with patience and an open heart, to what God wants us to say.

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Kim G's avatar

I am so sorry for the loss of your sons, and how much more difficult it must make today. Be gentle with yourself.

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Kim H's avatar

Thank you John, your words bring a balm to my heart. Bless you, my friend ❤️🕊🦋

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Gammyjill's avatar

What lovely sentiments, John. What began (and has actually pretty much stayed) as a “greeting card” holiday, many are hurt by the universal notion that all women are happy today.

It’s only been in the last few years that “different” situations have been recognized. We don’t have to list them here, but they should be considered.

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Time for the Crones to Rise's avatar

I have friends and family whose child no longer walks this earth. And there are those whose child wanders in the streets of mental health or addiction. This day is one of sorrow for too many in this world. I do not look forward to this day as so many others do.

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Catherine Toth's avatar

Thank you for putting feelings into words. I needed that very much today.❤️

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Kirsten Eckert's avatar

Thank you, as always, John for this powerful message.

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Marina Rykoff's avatar

Thank you John. I would have never imagined a year ago that my DIL would turn my son against me so that I no loner see him or my only grandson. And thank you for the reminder that it hurts so deeply because I loved them all so deeply. Your words give me strength every day ❤️

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Peggy Fokkema's avatar

I've lost pretty much everybody and definitely my entire family. It's a very hard time . I'm sorry for your loss

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Karen Moorefield's avatar

Thank you, John, for acknowledging how utterly painful this day can be.

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Shari Rochen's avatar

Thank you — all relationships are complicated and need safe space.

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Sherry Houck's avatar

Thanks for making room for anguish, John. Helps a lot

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Carol Nichols's avatar

Thank you for the daily comfort you give us. I’d like to share that awhile ago my daughter gave me the subscription to your daily work honoring you as well as me for being her mother. Yesterday we had our Mother’s Day brunch a day early to avoid the crowds & enjoyed eating outside on a creekside with a playground enjoyed by families & forgot for a while the traumas going on in America. We walked the sidewalks enjoying families having a normal day. I thank God for that blessing.

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