Whenever we have a physical illness like the flu or a bad cold, while we’re in the throes of it, we are fully aware of our symptoms: how bad we feel, our loss of energy, our congestion, lack of our sense of smell or taste. During that time, because of the acuteness of the sickness, our thoughts all revolve around the awareness that we’re sick and on how this virus or bacteria has invaded our bodies. For a few days (or sometimes longer), that unwellness becomes our default condition. We begin to get used to the symptoms, or they begin to soften, and we notice them less.
Then, suddenly one day, we’re going about our business, and it suddenly occurs to us, “Hey, I feel better!” or “Hey, I can taste food again!” It’s a welcome surprise! We remember that being sick was not the baseline.
There are moments on the grief journey when our hearts feel lighter, even for a while, when we suddenly know that we have regained a bit of ourselves, when a sense of normalcy comes. I call it a clearing in the grief valley: a place we come to where we can see more than just the grief, more than just the darkness. It is different for each of us, and we find ourselves there on very different timelines, but the clearings do come.
