I wish none of us had to be in this awful place. I live on the NC coast, and this time feels like waiting for a hurricane to come ashore. How bad is the damage going to be? I vacillate between thinking it didn’t have to be this way, with a criminal regime coming to take the reins of government. But then I think maybe it does have to be this way because most people learn the hard way. The people who survived the Great Depression and WWII are nearly all gone now. The institutional memory of decency and sacrifice is only about 80 years. It has been 80 years since the end of WWII. Those hard earned memories are nearly evaporated.
So many people worked so hard during this most recent election to protect our democracy. I still feel numbed by the defeat. Some days I don’t know how to feel.
I am in Western North Carolina, where we are still rebuilding from Helene, while trying to send some support and understanding to our brothers and sisters in California. And my parents live in Ukraine.
As usual, I look into my mailbox for comfort and there it is: a direct deposit from my guide and mentor saying ONLY the truth about being human. I am not OK!!!! And I am not one who rushes out to begin the march of freedom from terror. I am the one who can (and did) hold a complete stranger in Costco so she could break down and have a cry), We are out here holding on and it is the scariest ride down the Snake River in a rubber raft I can imagine. Yes, grew up in Idaho. Learned determination from a Father who fought polio as a child, and survived his parents’ divorce as a 6 year old. Learned steadfastness and kindness from both my parents. And we were taught to be better than just good! A goal I will forever be glad I was guided to believe in.
And today I am not OK. Thank you again John for being my angel guide. 😇🦋💫🌏🙏🏻🌈🎶👏🏻💕😌
Thank you!!! Needed this. I feel I'm becoming apathetic and "giving in" to what's coming and yet I KNOW I need to stay active and strong. Good to read this....tells me we're all in this together and we will all navigate the waters in our own way. Thank you!!
I agree John, we are no okay, BUT we will pull up our big girl panties and bring it! Democrats in Congress must not fail us, with every ounce of their being they must resist! If necessary they must use every tool in their tool box to stand in his way for anything that is not right or legal! We have lawyers and over 160 million people with them! They can not back down! They must remember what happened in 2018 and that can happen in 2026! Do not sit quietly! We need another 262 Jasmine Crockets!
Well said! I am happy to say that my volunteer phone banking help to get Jasmine elected. We never know what our small efforts will do, but we have to take them, for our own mental health and dignity. Just this morning I saw her in action this week. Very encouraging to see fighters on the side of facts and justice!
I am not ok and I cannot pretend otherwise. The weight of what is coming makes it hard to breathe sometimes. Giving myself permission to show up authentically and to have those feelings validated is a gift that allows those around me to show up in the same way. I still cannot wrap my brain around the fact that cruelty was up for a vote and half of the population said, "hell ya"! It is people like you John Pavlovitz and this community that reminds that I am not alone on a much larger scale. There is comfort in that. Reading the comments gives me hope because we are a collective who feels and shares and there is strength and power in that.
Thank you for your wisdom and encouragement. I'm writing from Ottawa, Canada and would never in a million years think we would be facing a takeover. We have iur own storms here too politically. This community of writers and readers is so encouraging. I hope you all remain safe and continue speaking your truth with such love.💔
I'm still just in disbelief that our system is so flawed that it ALLOWED a felon to be elected when criminals aren't allowed to vote. Still scratching my head at the huge morass of stupidity and blindness. I can't imagine that a takeover is imminent but then I didn't think T was really running the FIRST time he announced his candidacy. I have been in disbelief and revulsion ever since.
I am so grateful for this article. I really felt that there was something seriously wrong with me…still so sad, depressed, angry, withdrawn, etc. it is such a relief to discover that there are others who can’t move on. Thank you
I feel those things too, Debbie Bell. It's like political shell shock or something--political trauma or the phrase I read this morning, "political distress," to say the least. I do feel as if this must all be unreal, that surely we're not living in this authoritarian state. But we are. I'm hanging onto my anger b/c it makes me feel at least energized and not so lethargic or hit by a Mack truck...
Just what I needed to hear today. My life is in chaos right now for a variety of reasons and I’ve tried the ignore the elephant in the room. That elephant is there so I can’t ignore it. Time to be honest with myself and others.
Yes. This. Not only the existential crisis we are all facing, but my personal crisis of mom's dementia taking bigger chunks of her away and my realization that my care for her in her home may not be enough for her. I voiced feeling like a failure as a caregiver to a friend night before last, AND that I knew I had done a good job as a caring daughter these past two years I've lived with her in her home, and for the last six after my daddy died being her 'go-to' person. And, frequently, more frequently than I would like, I am hit by the growing despair of what is to come-but it isn't here yet. And I remind myself each time the world, my world, feels heavy, that I am still breathing, still have a roof over my head and food in my belly, and remember to be grateful.
My heart goes out to you, Anna Walker! What an enormous burden you've been carrying so well for so long... I hope you can find some peaceful, good solutions. I hear you on the "growing despair of what is to come--but it isn't here yet."
I am so grateful for this article. I really felt that there was something seriously wrong with me. I am still so sad, depressed, angry, withdrawn, literally moribund with grief over what my country is and will become. It is such a relief (almost a lifesaver) to discover that there are others who can’t yet move on.
Thank you
P.S. wish I could share with friends who can’t subscribe.
After the November 2016 election, my common answer to the How are you question became
"Pretty well, personally, except for impending fascism."
This duality, this extreme contrast, still exists. One can be in pretty good shape in terms of health, family, pursuing passions, friendships... And also 100% aware of and terrified by authoritarianism and lies and gaslighting and injustices and cruelty.
Well! Feeling impending doom about sums it up. You stated and ‘decent’ person is not ok and that’s the kicker! Where have all the decent people gone?! Thanks, John!
I guess many people who we thought were decent, really weren't and that is something I have come to realize in addition to everything else. It's a lot to have to come to terms with and I'm not ok either anymore 😭...
I wish none of us had to be in this awful place. I live on the NC coast, and this time feels like waiting for a hurricane to come ashore. How bad is the damage going to be? I vacillate between thinking it didn’t have to be this way, with a criminal regime coming to take the reins of government. But then I think maybe it does have to be this way because most people learn the hard way. The people who survived the Great Depression and WWII are nearly all gone now. The institutional memory of decency and sacrifice is only about 80 years. It has been 80 years since the end of WWII. Those hard earned memories are nearly evaporated.
So many people worked so hard during this most recent election to protect our democracy. I still feel numbed by the defeat. Some days I don’t know how to feel.
I am in Western North Carolina, where we are still rebuilding from Helene, while trying to send some support and understanding to our brothers and sisters in California. And my parents live in Ukraine.
Prayers for each branch of your family. And all of our families.
You have all of my prayers and all of my condolences. That's a trifecta for sure.
Thank you for the words that many of us have at this time.
I’m right w you! Thnx for the words! I get hammered by my feelings!
Join the club. People who feel are okay to feel. This whole thing is a travesty and only the Lord can handle this one. I still believe HE will.
Praying for you and for them
As usual, I look into my mailbox for comfort and there it is: a direct deposit from my guide and mentor saying ONLY the truth about being human. I am not OK!!!! And I am not one who rushes out to begin the march of freedom from terror. I am the one who can (and did) hold a complete stranger in Costco so she could break down and have a cry), We are out here holding on and it is the scariest ride down the Snake River in a rubber raft I can imagine. Yes, grew up in Idaho. Learned determination from a Father who fought polio as a child, and survived his parents’ divorce as a 6 year old. Learned steadfastness and kindness from both my parents. And we were taught to be better than just good! A goal I will forever be glad I was guided to believe in.
And today I am not OK. Thank you again John for being my angel guide. 😇🦋💫🌏🙏🏻🌈🎶👏🏻💕😌
I like the thought of being better than just good
Thank you!!! Needed this. I feel I'm becoming apathetic and "giving in" to what's coming and yet I KNOW I need to stay active and strong. Good to read this....tells me we're all in this together and we will all navigate the waters in our own way. Thank you!!
I agree John, we are no okay, BUT we will pull up our big girl panties and bring it! Democrats in Congress must not fail us, with every ounce of their being they must resist! If necessary they must use every tool in their tool box to stand in his way for anything that is not right or legal! We have lawyers and over 160 million people with them! They can not back down! They must remember what happened in 2018 and that can happen in 2026! Do not sit quietly! We need another 262 Jasmine Crockets!
Well said! I am happy to say that my volunteer phone banking help to get Jasmine elected. We never know what our small efforts will do, but we have to take them, for our own mental health and dignity. Just this morning I saw her in action this week. Very encouraging to see fighters on the side of facts and justice!
https://youtu.be/TMCj5JqwZiQ?si=FjGrxlgL8fG8NrY8
Don't forget Jamie Raskin and the friend of Jasmine 's who recently got elected.
Jasmine is a Texas treasure & our state really needs her!
The Democrats in Congress are on the front lines. I thank them for anything they can do to go up against this atrocity.
I am not ok and I cannot pretend otherwise. The weight of what is coming makes it hard to breathe sometimes. Giving myself permission to show up authentically and to have those feelings validated is a gift that allows those around me to show up in the same way. I still cannot wrap my brain around the fact that cruelty was up for a vote and half of the population said, "hell ya"! It is people like you John Pavlovitz and this community that reminds that I am not alone on a much larger scale. There is comfort in that. Reading the comments gives me hope because we are a collective who feels and shares and there is strength and power in that.
Thank you for your wisdom and encouragement. I'm writing from Ottawa, Canada and would never in a million years think we would be facing a takeover. We have iur own storms here too politically. This community of writers and readers is so encouraging. I hope you all remain safe and continue speaking your truth with such love.💔
I'm still just in disbelief that our system is so flawed that it ALLOWED a felon to be elected when criminals aren't allowed to vote. Still scratching my head at the huge morass of stupidity and blindness. I can't imagine that a takeover is imminent but then I didn't think T was really running the FIRST time he announced his candidacy. I have been in disbelief and revulsion ever since.
I am so grateful for this article. I really felt that there was something seriously wrong with me…still so sad, depressed, angry, withdrawn, etc. it is such a relief to discover that there are others who can’t move on. Thank you
I feel those things too, Debbie Bell. It's like political shell shock or something--political trauma or the phrase I read this morning, "political distress," to say the least. I do feel as if this must all be unreal, that surely we're not living in this authoritarian state. But we are. I'm hanging onto my anger b/c it makes me feel at least energized and not so lethargic or hit by a Mack truck...
I'm not OK, and neither are several of my friends. Thank you for writing about this.
Just what I needed to hear today. My life is in chaos right now for a variety of reasons and I’ve tried the ignore the elephant in the room. That elephant is there so I can’t ignore it. Time to be honest with myself and others.
Yes. This. Not only the existential crisis we are all facing, but my personal crisis of mom's dementia taking bigger chunks of her away and my realization that my care for her in her home may not be enough for her. I voiced feeling like a failure as a caregiver to a friend night before last, AND that I knew I had done a good job as a caring daughter these past two years I've lived with her in her home, and for the last six after my daddy died being her 'go-to' person. And, frequently, more frequently than I would like, I am hit by the growing despair of what is to come-but it isn't here yet. And I remind myself each time the world, my world, feels heavy, that I am still breathing, still have a roof over my head and food in my belly, and remember to be grateful.
Finding things to be grateful for helps.
My heart goes out to you, Anna Walker! What an enormous burden you've been carrying so well for so long... I hope you can find some peaceful, good solutions. I hear you on the "growing despair of what is to come--but it isn't here yet."
So very true
Thank you, thank you, thank you, for letting me know it’s okay to not be “okay.”
I am so grateful for this article. I really felt that there was something seriously wrong with me. I am still so sad, depressed, angry, withdrawn, literally moribund with grief over what my country is and will become. It is such a relief (almost a lifesaver) to discover that there are others who can’t yet move on.
Thank you
P.S. wish I could share with friends who can’t subscribe.
After the November 2016 election, my common answer to the How are you question became
"Pretty well, personally, except for impending fascism."
This duality, this extreme contrast, still exists. One can be in pretty good shape in terms of health, family, pursuing passions, friendships... And also 100% aware of and terrified by authoritarianism and lies and gaslighting and injustices and cruelty.
Thank you. I needed to hear this. It's easy to forget that vulnerability makes us stronger and more resilient.
Well! Feeling impending doom about sums it up. You stated and ‘decent’ person is not ok and that’s the kicker! Where have all the decent people gone?! Thanks, John!
I guess many people who we thought were decent, really weren't and that is something I have come to realize in addition to everything else. It's a lot to have to come to terms with and I'm not ok either anymore 😭...
We are all here on these platforms - hugging and holding each other up