Omg! This is so tragically accurate. You really get it. Even as a man. Sorry, but so many don’t. You’re so wise. Thank you. Hopefully more people, especially men can see this. Thank you.
Thank you. I don't know why I'm not feeling it this year, but I am not. I had a stillborn son, followed by a daughter the following year and 3 miscarriages after that - so I am grateful to be a mother but Mother's Day is... complicated. Everyone keeps asking what I want to do, but really, I would just like to skip it this year. I know I'm very lucky, but I really would just like to go for a hike by myself while listening to Meet the Press on my headphones and eat a plate of bacon afterwards.
And when "Mother's Day" goes by unremarked - by choice - that, too, should be accepted. Some of us made that choice years and years ago and are content with that decision. We also understand that for many, it never was a choice, and that may have been painful to bear - perhaps it still is. Regardless, if someone chooses NOT to recognize it, that should be respected. One never knows the decisions women have made, been forced to make, or had made for them during their lives.
Susan, beautifully stated and so honest & true. We each have a story, traditional or not, choices made or not. The private journey and public knowledge don’t always coincide. Respect not judgement.
Somewhere in heaven, the Magdalene is facepalming.
Because once again, a day that could honor sacred choice has been hijacked by the same spiritual arsonists who set fire to women’s autonomy, then show up to the ashes with flowers and a sermon.
Motherhood is holy. So is saying no to it.
But forced motherhood? That’s not sacred. That’s state-sponsored trauma dressed in a Hallmark card.
To every woman who feels this day in her bones as a bruise instead of a blessing—may your pain be seen, your choice be honored, and your story be louder than their laws.
And to the men writing those laws from pulpits and courtrooms: may you one day be forced to carry the weight of your own consequences to term.
—Virgin Monk Boy
P.S. I pray for them daily:
“May they have deep well-being, happiness, and joy... and by their prayers may I be blessed.”
This is beautifully stated. Thank you. Mother's Day is a personal and intimate celebration of the women who gave us life, love and support and care. Not a bonanza for businesses.
And no government, or anyone else has the right to force a woman to bear children. Especially in a country that has forsaken the privilege of helping Mothers care for their children when they are financially unable. As well as one of the worst perinatal mortality rates of all developed countries.
Pro life should mean caring about ALL life not just a fetus or an embryo.
You nailed it John. I must admit I have been skipping over your missives recently. But I am back in the fold. A lost sheep that has returned. I recognized the wisdom in your approach. Thanks for being you.
First of all, as you say, motherhood does not mean having a baby. It means taking on the responsibility of providing for a child 24/7/365 for a minimum of 18 and often many more years. It has always appalled me that those who would ban abortion seem more interested in shaming the women who become pregnant by accident, at an impossible time, or even against their will than providing services to support her and her child, once it's born. And secondly, where are the laws requiring a male to take some responsibility for the children they 'sire'? Child support? How often does a man actually pay what he's supposed to? The system is soooo rigged to place the burden solely on a woman. That it then insists she bear a child under those circumstances is nothing short of cruel and unusual punishment.
Insightful writing John. So much frustration for a country that stinks of hypocrisy worshipping a fertilized egg or a Trad wife dutifully having a dozen children but doesn’t give a shit for the millions of situations and choices in between. Or the long term consequences.
Happy Nurturing Day to all who support, love, care for others whether that means your children, someone else’s, pets, wildlife, a community garden or wherever the love is shared and life of all variety is honored.
If we don't recognise that our society is hurting especially because of these men who probably are (as you called them) " millions of children born into regret and guilt and injury: the inherited trauma of being brought into the world by force, into homes where they will not be welcomed, in circumstances that are financially dire and emotionally barren, and with suffering having already defined their stories." .... then we have a problem.
Not only perpetuating but accepting the injustice it will decay even more our society and the results can only be easily imagined.
Our World 🌎 needs to fight to finally put a STOP to all the injustices if we want to have peace and start the healing 🙏❤️🩹
At this time in my life with daily evidence of Evil in the world, let alone the United States, I find my faith prayerfully “challenged”. It is the old question that keeps reverberating, “Is all this Evil part of God’s Plan for me, for us?”
We women are beautiful…wonderful…caring…amazing…loving…joyful. Whether we have made the decision to be a Mom, by having a child, or being that special person to someone….it does not matter. We are incredible.
The MAGAs and DT in particular have attempted to delegitimize us…but they don’t understand the strength of women. No matter our race…our nationality…our religious inclination…we are women who will stick together…support our sisters.
Happy Mother’s Day to every woman out there. Thanks John for your love and caring…and to every man who supports us.
This is a timely post highlighting the struggle that still is going on for a woman’s right to control her own body.
I was a high school student activist in the movement to pass Roe V Wade.
From the minute it was passed the conservative evangelical right and other reactionary organizations went to work to get it overturned. They have sadly been successful and there are vast areas of our country where women are losing their lives and our reproductive health is being threatened.
This unalienable right to control your own body should be enshrined in the constitution but sadly that never happened. 😰😰🙏💙💙💙
Intense and very dark. I understand you, hear your bristling against obligation to celebrate this day and I appreciate your empathy… Thank God women are often the gentle loving strength that guides us through…
Omg! This is so tragically accurate. You really get it. Even as a man. Sorry, but so many don’t. You’re so wise. Thank you. Hopefully more people, especially men can see this. Thank you.
Thank you. I don't know why I'm not feeling it this year, but I am not. I had a stillborn son, followed by a daughter the following year and 3 miscarriages after that - so I am grateful to be a mother but Mother's Day is... complicated. Everyone keeps asking what I want to do, but really, I would just like to skip it this year. I know I'm very lucky, but I really would just like to go for a hike by myself while listening to Meet the Press on my headphones and eat a plate of bacon afterwards.
And when "Mother's Day" goes by unremarked - by choice - that, too, should be accepted. Some of us made that choice years and years ago and are content with that decision. We also understand that for many, it never was a choice, and that may have been painful to bear - perhaps it still is. Regardless, if someone chooses NOT to recognize it, that should be respected. One never knows the decisions women have made, been forced to make, or had made for them during their lives.
Susan, beautifully stated and so honest & true. We each have a story, traditional or not, choices made or not. The private journey and public knowledge don’t always coincide. Respect not judgement.
Somewhere in heaven, the Magdalene is facepalming.
Because once again, a day that could honor sacred choice has been hijacked by the same spiritual arsonists who set fire to women’s autonomy, then show up to the ashes with flowers and a sermon.
Motherhood is holy. So is saying no to it.
But forced motherhood? That’s not sacred. That’s state-sponsored trauma dressed in a Hallmark card.
To every woman who feels this day in her bones as a bruise instead of a blessing—may your pain be seen, your choice be honored, and your story be louder than their laws.
And to the men writing those laws from pulpits and courtrooms: may you one day be forced to carry the weight of your own consequences to term.
—Virgin Monk Boy
P.S. I pray for them daily:
“May they have deep well-being, happiness, and joy... and by their prayers may I be blessed.”
(That’s spiritual aikido. Try it sometime.)
This is beautifully stated. Thank you. Mother's Day is a personal and intimate celebration of the women who gave us life, love and support and care. Not a bonanza for businesses.
And no government, or anyone else has the right to force a woman to bear children. Especially in a country that has forsaken the privilege of helping Mothers care for their children when they are financially unable. As well as one of the worst perinatal mortality rates of all developed countries.
Pro life should mean caring about ALL life not just a fetus or an embryo.
You nailed it John. I must admit I have been skipping over your missives recently. But I am back in the fold. A lost sheep that has returned. I recognized the wisdom in your approach. Thanks for being you.
First of all, as you say, motherhood does not mean having a baby. It means taking on the responsibility of providing for a child 24/7/365 for a minimum of 18 and often many more years. It has always appalled me that those who would ban abortion seem more interested in shaming the women who become pregnant by accident, at an impossible time, or even against their will than providing services to support her and her child, once it's born. And secondly, where are the laws requiring a male to take some responsibility for the children they 'sire'? Child support? How often does a man actually pay what he's supposed to? The system is soooo rigged to place the burden solely on a woman. That it then insists she bear a child under those circumstances is nothing short of cruel and unusual punishment.
When pregnancy happens both sets of DNA 🧬 on all paperwork. Both sets pay in to support and care for said “life”! Otherwise,
Insightful writing John. So much frustration for a country that stinks of hypocrisy worshipping a fertilized egg or a Trad wife dutifully having a dozen children but doesn’t give a shit for the millions of situations and choices in between. Or the long term consequences.
Happy Nurturing Day to all who support, love, care for others whether that means your children, someone else’s, pets, wildlife, a community garden or wherever the love is shared and life of all variety is honored.
If we don't recognise that our society is hurting especially because of these men who probably are (as you called them) " millions of children born into regret and guilt and injury: the inherited trauma of being brought into the world by force, into homes where they will not be welcomed, in circumstances that are financially dire and emotionally barren, and with suffering having already defined their stories." .... then we have a problem.
Not only perpetuating but accepting the injustice it will decay even more our society and the results can only be easily imagined.
Our World 🌎 needs to fight to finally put a STOP to all the injustices if we want to have peace and start the healing 🙏❤️🩹
At this time in my life with daily evidence of Evil in the world, let alone the United States, I find my faith prayerfully “challenged”. It is the old question that keeps reverberating, “Is all this Evil part of God’s Plan for me, for us?”
We women are beautiful…wonderful…caring…amazing…loving…joyful. Whether we have made the decision to be a Mom, by having a child, or being that special person to someone….it does not matter. We are incredible.
The MAGAs and DT in particular have attempted to delegitimize us…but they don’t understand the strength of women. No matter our race…our nationality…our religious inclination…we are women who will stick together…support our sisters.
Happy Mother’s Day to every woman out there. Thanks John for your love and caring…and to every man who supports us.
Bien vu dm!!! Thanks for being that which you describe as us ! Women. Sisters… yes loving wives and mothers and daughters…. XO
I shed tears as I read this John then sent it to my remaining daughters and daughters In law who are or are not mothers.
Thank you
Powerful words!
This is a timely post highlighting the struggle that still is going on for a woman’s right to control her own body.
I was a high school student activist in the movement to pass Roe V Wade.
From the minute it was passed the conservative evangelical right and other reactionary organizations went to work to get it overturned. They have sadly been successful and there are vast areas of our country where women are losing their lives and our reproductive health is being threatened.
This unalienable right to control your own body should be enshrined in the constitution but sadly that never happened. 😰😰🙏💙💙💙
Intense and very dark. I understand you, hear your bristling against obligation to celebrate this day and I appreciate your empathy… Thank God women are often the gentle loving strength that guides us through…
And so often with a genuine smile.
So true, anyone can be a "Mother" whether they give birth or choose to care and love someone. Its up to them and no one else.