85 Comments
User's avatar
Kathy Sims's avatar

I am not okay. I do not know how to feel about everything going on in this country...and by extension the world. I care, I deeply care about the direction we are heading in this country and yet I am so TIRED and EXHAUSTED at the neverending BS coming out of this administration. I'm not going to give up, I have faith we the people will prevail....I need to keep that faith alive. It's really hard right now.

Expand full comment
Barbara Greer's avatar

Every time you feel exhausted, remind yourself that that is part of this regime's plan, to flood the zone with so much awfulness that Americans become too exhausted to fight it and just give up. When I remind myself that that is their plan, I refuse to let it work on me. I refuse to give them what they want and give in their traitorous actions. I refuse to let them crush my spirit to resist.

Expand full comment
Ann de Vitry's avatar

My daughter wrote this amazing song. Give it a listen. I hope it helps ❤️https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=YGkAXrz90Mc&pp=ygUZTWF5YSBkZSBWaXRyeSBXb3JraW5nIE1hbg%3D%3D

Expand full comment
Linden Jordan's avatar

Beautiful and so very true. Where would we be without the songs like this written by those who reach out to speak to each of us and our broken hearts through their beautiful music. Thank you for posting this. And thank your daughter.

Expand full comment
Anne Stadler's avatar

Thank your daughter please and tell her that her beautiful song definitely helped me.

Expand full comment
Katlynn Griffin's avatar

I truly know and feel your feelings!

Expand full comment
Hazel sweetie's avatar

Spent the whole article thinking of who to send this article to ….. I’m not okay :) - but I will be - thank you for reminding me what human looks like :)

Expand full comment
Robot Bender's avatar

I restacked it immediately. A therapist friend told me that most of her practice right now is people frightened about the mess were in. People from all walks of life, all colors, genders, religions, and political beliefs. No, I'm not okay. No one with a functioning brain and heart are okay right now. I'm angry as Hell. The regime can kiss my shiny metal ass! 😠 😡 🤬 My Dad was drafted in 1944 and sent to Germany. He didn't go to war for this to happen. He's gone now, so I'm standing in his place.

Unfortunately, I'll be at a Scouting event all day tomorrow. It's Family Day and I'm going to see my grandsons, one of which is an Eagle. I fear for our kid's and grandkid's futures.

Expand full comment
Bambi Sears's avatar

I am feeling deeply rattled and overwhelmed like the ground beneath my feet is shifting and tumbling.

So:

I am embedding myself into my Buddhist community.

Am staying close to the people who keep a close eye on me.

I am going to stay well informed about what is happening and take long naps and eat chocolate.

I am going to thank our Defenders of our Democracy who are out on the front lines and deep in the trenches.

I am going to chant :

may peace prevail on earth.

Expand full comment
Robot Bender's avatar

You wouldn't be human if you weren't rattled.

Expand full comment
Pamela's avatar

I understand your comment about your father. Almost every day I think of how terribly sad my father, a career Army officer, would be now. During ww2 he made 64 round trip crossings of the Atlantic, in charge of US Army personnel on Navy ships. Onboard during return trips from Europe there were prisoners of war, the wounded and many many coffins. My father frequently said how important it was to treat the POWs with respect, saying," this way the POWs would know what a great country we are". Are we still great? No... not by a long shot.

How heartbreaking it is to reflect on the fact the President of the United States, a man (?) who denigrated those who serve/served is using US Army personnel for a charade of an anniversary.

Expand full comment
Audrey Freudberg's avatar

I am upset, distressed, disturbed, sickened, afraid and outraged. What the Trump administration is doing is unconscionable. Wrong. The question I have is how best to take action. Yes, protesting on Saturday, but I have to admit I am afraid there will be more violence. And not because of the protesters. It all just makes me sick to my stomach. I am not okay at all. My outrage helps me stay hopeful. Hopeful that we will find the way or ways to stop this train wreck.

Thank you, John, for providing this safe space to express what we are really feeling.

Expand full comment
Susan Penn's avatar

Yes, so true, John. It is self abuse to feel like we have to appear as if we're ok while our hearts are breaking, while fear surges with each repeal of court cases that disallow chaos producing military intervention. The reality of the dismal place we are in sets in, and, we somehow need to maintain the energy to resist. i hold to the reality that all of these acts are acts of weakness, of desperation, and will one day be overcome. Although knowing that we haven't seen the worse, as when a narcissist is cornered, they will stop at nothing. Nothing. Just wanting to say to all here...we are not alone. I for one, am with you.

Expand full comment
Catt woman's avatar

I’m not okay either but the part I find most upsetting is the number of friends I have who are comfortable with their heads in the sand. They don’t want to know what’s really happening to their country. Ignorance is bliss, I guess, but it sure doesn’t help the situation. Most of them are in their 70s or 80s so they are old enough to understand where this is headed but still they prefer to remain in the dark. I simply cannot understand. I used to believe that God was in charge and everything would work out but I’m not so sure any more. It’s good to know I’m not alone in this island…thanks…..

Expand full comment
Anne Stadler's avatar

You are NOT alone. I’ll be 80 in a month and although I’m unable to participate in the No Kings March tomorrow I will be there in spirit sending light, love and prayers. Your friends are free to make their own decisions but remaining in the dark has never seemed a wise one to me. So please be assured you are NOT alone.

Expand full comment
Catt woman's avatar

Thanks…I’m 81!

Expand full comment
Pamela's avatar

At times like this there is an aphorism of Teresa of Avila that pushes me forward. "Pray as though all depends upon God. Work as though all depends upon you".

Expand full comment
Marion Sensenich Clemans's avatar

Thanks John, I needed to hear that. I really want to be out protesting tomorrow but I can’t. I’m 79 and have a bunch of physical limitations at this point and, if I’m being honest, I probably wouldn’t last through a 10 minute protest let alone the 4 hour one planned for uptown Charlotte tomorrow. So I just want you and anyone else who reads this that there will be a whole bunch of people cheering every one who goes to a peaceful, respectful (I know that will be hard) demonstration to say NO KINGS IN AMERICA! By the way, I’ve heard some commentators harken back to the dark days of Kent State protests…I could and did protest then holding a sign, singing, and waving to the traffic on Brook Road in Richmond, Va. I never would have believed what would be happening 50+ years later!

Expand full comment
Joan's avatar

I'm with you. I participated in the anti war movement in the Vietnam era and others along the way. I will participate in a smaller local protest rather then in the city where I'm sure ICE will be stirring up the crowd. You can also donate to support and fund these marches through Moveon.org. I've done that and feel that;s best for me.

Expand full comment
Deborah Hemenway's avatar

I sure as hell am not okay. I fear for my friends, my family. To not be afraid of the horrible things this administration is doing to its own citizens from arresting representatives and senators, to scooping up large groups of people including small children and pregnant women, to threatening to remove elected leaders and putting in their puppets shows an ignorance of the facts. I have family that survived a bad auto accident 20 years ago who are now wondering why they are alive to have to deal with this. But as Mordecai told Esther perhaps we are here for just such a time as this. Please consider going to No Kings Day because the more we protest, the more they may come to realize we are not going quietly in to darkness but will fight tooth and nail. Dissent as a friend of mine has said in the past was a right now it is an obligation. It really is. The biggest mistake of the Christian Church in 20th century Germany was silence. Today the faith community cannot afford that mistake. We must not be silent. We must be loud. After all the truth be told, those of us who support democracy, the constitution are the true patriots.

Expand full comment
Jack G.'s avatar

Heavy. It is heavy. Self-care leveled up. As a psychotherapist, I have to take care of me to help others. TIPS: Validate, be empathetic, and MOST IMPORTANTLY, FIND HUMOR.

Thanks, John. I appreciate you.

It is OK NOT TO BE OK.

Expand full comment
Lou6412's avatar

I’m mad and cranky, can barely put a sentence together. I love that my grandparents could come to this country and find hope; I love this country. I’m not okay.

Expand full comment
Kay Duren's avatar

While I am among those of us who are not okay, I also feel sad that far too many of the citizenry believes what is happening is for our collective good. And, they seem to be not persuadable, so I feel impotent and sad in so many regards. I will be okay ,but it's going to take a while; and I so appreciate your thoughts to help me focus that way.

Expand full comment
Time for the Crones to Rise's avatar

These days when I wake clouds of darkness overwhelm me. I walk outside, take deep breaths and remember to be thankful I am alive. This is something people take for granted that I can no longer do. In February my life was in the hands of others, so I know how fragile every moment can be. This fragile state of life resonates across the world today for all the innocent people caught in the cruelty of political games of domination.

Our earth is fighting back against the rape by man. It does not need human beings for survival, but we need the earth for ours. Instead of working together the lines have been drawn by the oligarchs and power players for their own personal survival. The people, we are just ants to be squashed when we get in their way.

I look at my young grandson, all the children in this world and wonder whether there is any hope for their future. Yes I am not OK yet it does not matter how I feel, only that I put one foot in front of the other and keeping trying to change the agenda of those who put greed and power above the well being of humanity.

Expand full comment
Marcia Reiff's avatar

It helps to know that I am not okay and you are not okay and that's okay. The birds are still singing.

Expand full comment
Troy's avatar

I have not been ok since the dear leader was elected. I cry almost daily about the tragic events; unnecessary violence, deaths of innocent women and children abroad, horrible, inhumane and cruel executive orders, ICE raids similar to the SS, rampant corruption , military deployments against U.S citizens peacefully protesting, misinformation and dismantling of our democratic institutions. I served my country for decades, my wife has as well, we cry on each other's shoulders almost daily. We never imagined that we'd live to see this moment in our lifetime. We have taken action, mobilizing allies, comforting and praying with friends family and community. Presidents dont last forever, but the damage they've inflicted will take decades to fix

Expand full comment
Robot Bender's avatar

I expected this in 2016, quite frankly. We dodged the bullet then let the shooter take another shot.

Expand full comment
John Gummere's avatar

Thanks John — No, I'm not OK either. Or, I should say: I'm pretty happy with my own life and who I am personally, but the world/our country's reality weigh heavily on me. I remember a teacher in HS saying that an abnormal reaction to an abnormal circumstance — is normal. That's where we are now. I try to do my bits of activism/advocacy/protest etc, while being kind and helping individuals where I can. Meantime, it seems almost radical to do things that really give me life: my big thing is painting; I also love listening to music, and most of all being with loved ones. Petting our cats gives me peace — in these moments, I feel as if THIS is what I'm called to do. And as a friend noted recently, it's like when you're on a plane and they tell you to put your own oxygen mask on first before you try to help others: You need to take care of yourself so you can then help heal the world or help anyone else.

Expand full comment
Katherine Evatt's avatar

I am not OK, at all. Every day there is another intentional attack on our people and our institutions. I was in tears yesterday after watching Sen. Alex Padilla's press conference and the video of his assault by federal officer. He is a U.S. Senator. He is also a kind, caring, gentle and intelligent man, the child of immigrants who lived their American Dream by getting a good education and graduating from MIT. Seeing how Noem's agents treated a US Senator makes it very clear that Trump's administration will stop at nothing to impose its will on the American people. And then she lied about it. This is NOT OK, so how can any one of us be OK?

Expand full comment
Rita Parker's avatar

I am not OK. I'm a pretty tough old woman. Like most of you, I've survived alot of hard times. But, this -THIS -is killing me. The constant simmering dread is like a heavy backpack I wear 24/7. I live in a state I used to love and despite my best efforts have watched it become a fascist Maga stranglehold. And the revelation that most of the people I trusted and loved are stone cold Trumpers rocked me in ways I can't adequately express. I told my husband I feel like an over loaded empath because the feelings and pain are too much some days. My father fought in WW2. I talked with Germans who survived Hitler. I have studied history and watched every documentary there is about Hitler and the Third Reich. This is where we are. This is Trump, Miller and Project 25. My God, watching a Senator be body slammed by goons and workers in a strawberry field being chased by Trump's gestapo for being Brown makes me enraged. And yet the legacy media is still harping about Joe Biden and sane washes Trump?! Republicans are all aboard the Nazi train so Democrats MUST get out of their bubble because no one is coming to rescue us. Whatever it takes they must be stopped. Until then, I'm not okay.

Expand full comment
Anne Stadler's avatar

Right there with you Rita. I can really relate to over loaded empath. My husband and I were Californians until 2005 when we moved to Georgia for help caring for my mom who was a hospice patient. I’ve got plenty of stories about culture shock. But Georgia and TN where we live now couldn’t be more red. And I can strongly relate with finding out that both family and friends are stone cold Trumpers. I truly can’t even remember the last time I felt ok I know I’m not alone and that is what keeps hope afloat..

Expand full comment