Once again, John, you articulated exactly how I'm feeling, and the things I've been thinking about recently. Thank you for giving me "permission" to withdraw for a bit, recalibrate, renew, refresh myself. Staying in the fight indefinitely, 24-7 isn't sustainable. I spent a good amount of time sewing this weekend, which felt SO GOOD. Bless you 💙
That is comfort to hear. I have been doing artistic things, but I am blocked at sitting at my sewing machine. I understand how that can make you feel good.
Just start! I had allowed a relationship (my first one in 11 years which thankfully ended about 6 months ago - he wasn't good for me, I just couldn't see it at the time) to cause me to abandon things that feed my soul, such as sewing. I recently jumped back into it. I wasn't really feeling excited about sewing again at the outset, but once I did start sewing again, the joy and my love of sewing returned as if I'd never stopped. 🧵🤩🌟💙💯
Heres an update. Since mending is so easy to identify and solve, I started there.i am wearing a favorite pair of sweats that made me happy to rediscover.Also I have a window curtain I improved with blue velvet (used to be pants and I repurposed them).Last, I am working through some Pride months projects with fabric paint and cloth.
I have been thinking about this wish. The sequential part of me is waiting to finish some tasks like taxes. I pay bills and have filing system that needs a clean-up. Also, I realize that art supplies block and some cleaning will help me think more clearly.
Yes, yes! I’ll just add one: I’ve noticed what helps me the most to feel better and be in the moment is LIVE music. I don’t play, I’m just in the audience. We’ve been going to folk, Irish, acoustic concerts in our community. It’s impossible to feel despair while listening to reels and jigs. Irish people made it through centuries of tragedy with this music. I suspect any kind of live music will work, tho: it’s good to get out of the house and be with people. Cheers to all of you.
A friend told me the other day about a fatal car accident that happened near my town. She described it vividly. I expressed that it was awful and that I felt sorrow for the family. Then I moved the conversation to other topics. She looked at me quizzically and said “Wow,” shaking her head. “I thought I knew you. You’re a bleeding-heart-liberal. I expected you to be more sympathetic than that.”
“Let me explain something to you, as long as you are asking. Yes, I’m a liberal, a Democrat, and an empath. I am also older and wiser than I used to be. Emotional responses and reactions, if done too much or too often, can drain your energy until you feel hopeless and depleted yourself. In that state you are a liability to yourself and to others.
“I have learned that unless I am personally involved with the object of that empathy, I need to compartmentalize those feelings, so I don’t drain myself of energy and be of no use to anyone. Yes, I feel bad about the accident. Yes, my heart hurts for the family. If someone I know comes to me and asks if I am willing to donate or join a meal train, I will say yes, because I can do that without feeling like someone just drained my brain of all its functions. I will find a way to donate, or I will sign up for one meal a week if can.
"But since I have no connection to that family, who likely have friends and other resources (and they don’t know me from Adam), I can’t afford to expend my energy on being a stranger who is disrupting their lives more than their current disarray, when I know I could be using my energy doing something meaningful for someone else.
“Mother Teresa once said, ‘I cannot feed everyone; therefore, I will feed just one. I cannot help everyone; therefore, I will help just one.’ This is how I keep myself from overextending during times of great stress. I choose who I help and how I help. It saves my sanity and gives me a little time to do things that keep me from being overwhelmed and burned out: visiting a winery with friends, listening to live music, reading, writing, and singing.”
I rarely rant on social media because it is counterproductive. I repost things I agree with, or if I feel they might make people re-think their positions. I am not, however, afraid to speak my mind or speak truth to power if it needs to be said.
Such narrow minded comments: "You’re a bleeding-heart-liberal." Or the other comment that get me, "You wear your heart on your sleeve." (As a child, I was confused by this second one. How could it be a good thing to hide your heart away?)
Such good and needed advice. This administration, and his first one, has brought many of my worst historical fears into play. Being an amateur scholar of the WWII the similarities are horrifying, and with this current administration filled with authoritarian policies and sycophants ready to carry them out, they are not similarities anymore, but actual facts. There are days that I am just overwhelmed to the point of tears, and anger. So I work on a 1000 piece puzzle, or read, or watch British mystery series, and more importantly talk to friends. So, since many friends ask me, becasue they know I am engaged in following many substacks, including John's, and calling Congress lines, they ask me what can we do? We are mostly senior citizens and physical protesting and marches are a little daunting for some of us. So I decided to invite a group of people to gather together to talk, share information sources, get some new ones, and replace "what can we do?' with " What we can do!" I sent out invites yesterday, and so far have received 6 replies that will come and many that cannot make it but can we do this again. It might just turn out to be a bitching session, but nothing wrong with that either. I'm a little nervous , but I need it and at least 6 others seem to need it also.
I swim and meditate everyday. Meditating is difficult, thoughts will always break through, ignore them and focus on your breath. Swimming is wonderful for your body and mind, very helpful especially if you are older with chronic joint and muscle pain. I avoid reading severely negative Substack posts. (obviously not referring to John's) Watch a couple of minutes of the Oligarchy Tour, nothing like seeing Bernie and AOC calling to the heavens.
John, thank you for your timely and healthy pointers. To engage, withdraw and recoup inner resources is essential to maintaining one's sanity in a troubled place.
Absolutely great advice. We know there is a season for everything. Not always what we want and trying to find patience. Thank you John for offering this week to us.
What a mighty and generous GIFT this series has been!!! A deep bow of gratitude to you for this and all that you bring🙏🏽 And how I LOVE that you brought Fred Rogers in at the close. I grew up watching Fred and then served as a producer for his program for a decade. I often wonder how he would be teaching through these times and then I remember that all of us who were inspired by his message of love, respect and compassion are carrying that very message forward in the ways that we are. May we all continue to ripple the goodness forth and know and trust that we are ever stronger together rather than on islands apart. Offering my hand and heart to you and to this beautiful and ever growing community ❤️✨
Wise words and actions to navigate our current circumstances. Thank you for reminding me that there are higher powers at work in the universe to foster kindness and hope.
Living through daily losses that feel traumatic (overwhelming) to the nervous system, you are so correct, titration is key. Moving in and out, knowing what is mine to carry, replenishing in order to be safe ground for others as needed, you are blending wisdom with neuroscience and trauma informed advisement that is and will be much needed for us all.
Yes Susan, trauma informed advisement is so accurate. For many of us this time is indeed trauma inducing or re introducing. Much of this administration's actions trigger prior happenings or mental battering that we thought we had escaped, overcome, healed from etc... and bang, here it is all over again. Time to bring back all those coping and healing techniques that got us through before.
My mother taught me, as a toddler, that it was important to listen to the sermon. She gave me many skills: how to doodle to focus, how to sit still, how to be led out to the child care center when I couldn't. Even though, I feel agnostic these days, I really enjoyed your words.
Community is a good thing for me. Sharing my greatest fear with people who are empathetic took a huge burden off my shoulders. Your reminders are on pointe.
These past eight days have been inspirational and powerful. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for being there for me and I can only imagine how many others. You epitomize the definition of a mensch. Look it up…😁
Once again, John, you articulated exactly how I'm feeling, and the things I've been thinking about recently. Thank you for giving me "permission" to withdraw for a bit, recalibrate, renew, refresh myself. Staying in the fight indefinitely, 24-7 isn't sustainable. I spent a good amount of time sewing this weekend, which felt SO GOOD. Bless you 💙
That is comfort to hear. I have been doing artistic things, but I am blocked at sitting at my sewing machine. I understand how that can make you feel good.
Just start! I had allowed a relationship (my first one in 11 years which thankfully ended about 6 months ago - he wasn't good for me, I just couldn't see it at the time) to cause me to abandon things that feed my soul, such as sewing. I recently jumped back into it. I wasn't really feeling excited about sewing again at the outset, but once I did start sewing again, the joy and my love of sewing returned as if I'd never stopped. 🧵🤩🌟💙💯
Heres an update. Since mending is so easy to identify and solve, I started there.i am wearing a favorite pair of sweats that made me happy to rediscover.Also I have a window curtain I improved with blue velvet (used to be pants and I repurposed them).Last, I am working through some Pride months projects with fabric paint and cloth.
Your encouragement helps. Thank you
I have been thinking about this wish. The sequential part of me is waiting to finish some tasks like taxes. I pay bills and have filing system that needs a clean-up. Also, I realize that art supplies block and some cleaning will help me think more clearly.
Yes, yes! I’ll just add one: I’ve noticed what helps me the most to feel better and be in the moment is LIVE music. I don’t play, I’m just in the audience. We’ve been going to folk, Irish, acoustic concerts in our community. It’s impossible to feel despair while listening to reels and jigs. Irish people made it through centuries of tragedy with this music. I suspect any kind of live music will work, tho: it’s good to get out of the house and be with people. Cheers to all of you.
We live in a place where it might happen soon but transportation is an issue
A friend told me the other day about a fatal car accident that happened near my town. She described it vividly. I expressed that it was awful and that I felt sorrow for the family. Then I moved the conversation to other topics. She looked at me quizzically and said “Wow,” shaking her head. “I thought I knew you. You’re a bleeding-heart-liberal. I expected you to be more sympathetic than that.”
“Let me explain something to you, as long as you are asking. Yes, I’m a liberal, a Democrat, and an empath. I am also older and wiser than I used to be. Emotional responses and reactions, if done too much or too often, can drain your energy until you feel hopeless and depleted yourself. In that state you are a liability to yourself and to others.
“I have learned that unless I am personally involved with the object of that empathy, I need to compartmentalize those feelings, so I don’t drain myself of energy and be of no use to anyone. Yes, I feel bad about the accident. Yes, my heart hurts for the family. If someone I know comes to me and asks if I am willing to donate or join a meal train, I will say yes, because I can do that without feeling like someone just drained my brain of all its functions. I will find a way to donate, or I will sign up for one meal a week if can.
"But since I have no connection to that family, who likely have friends and other resources (and they don’t know me from Adam), I can’t afford to expend my energy on being a stranger who is disrupting their lives more than their current disarray, when I know I could be using my energy doing something meaningful for someone else.
“Mother Teresa once said, ‘I cannot feed everyone; therefore, I will feed just one. I cannot help everyone; therefore, I will help just one.’ This is how I keep myself from overextending during times of great stress. I choose who I help and how I help. It saves my sanity and gives me a little time to do things that keep me from being overwhelmed and burned out: visiting a winery with friends, listening to live music, reading, writing, and singing.”
I rarely rant on social media because it is counterproductive. I repost things I agree with, or if I feel they might make people re-think their positions. I am not, however, afraid to speak my mind or speak truth to power if it needs to be said.
Such narrow minded comments: "You’re a bleeding-heart-liberal." Or the other comment that get me, "You wear your heart on your sleeve." (As a child, I was confused by this second one. How could it be a good thing to hide your heart away?)
I applaud your response.
Such good and needed advice. This administration, and his first one, has brought many of my worst historical fears into play. Being an amateur scholar of the WWII the similarities are horrifying, and with this current administration filled with authoritarian policies and sycophants ready to carry them out, they are not similarities anymore, but actual facts. There are days that I am just overwhelmed to the point of tears, and anger. So I work on a 1000 piece puzzle, or read, or watch British mystery series, and more importantly talk to friends. So, since many friends ask me, becasue they know I am engaged in following many substacks, including John's, and calling Congress lines, they ask me what can we do? We are mostly senior citizens and physical protesting and marches are a little daunting for some of us. So I decided to invite a group of people to gather together to talk, share information sources, get some new ones, and replace "what can we do?' with " What we can do!" I sent out invites yesterday, and so far have received 6 replies that will come and many that cannot make it but can we do this again. It might just turn out to be a bitching session, but nothing wrong with that either. I'm a little nervous , but I need it and at least 6 others seem to need it also.
I'm an amateur historian, much like you. The similarities are because they're using the same playbook.
I swim and meditate everyday. Meditating is difficult, thoughts will always break through, ignore them and focus on your breath. Swimming is wonderful for your body and mind, very helpful especially if you are older with chronic joint and muscle pain. I avoid reading severely negative Substack posts. (obviously not referring to John's) Watch a couple of minutes of the Oligarchy Tour, nothing like seeing Bernie and AOC calling to the heavens.
John, thank you for your timely and healthy pointers. To engage, withdraw and recoup inner resources is essential to maintaining one's sanity in a troubled place.
This has been a BEAUTIFUL series. Each of the themes provided comfort and strategies for dealing with these crazy times. Thank you so very much ⚘️
Absolutely great advice. We know there is a season for everything. Not always what we want and trying to find patience. Thank you John for offering this week to us.
Thank you, John. I think I'll let your last comment sink in till it's my mantra: Remember Love is the plan and there is no Plan B.
Dear John,
What a mighty and generous GIFT this series has been!!! A deep bow of gratitude to you for this and all that you bring🙏🏽 And how I LOVE that you brought Fred Rogers in at the close. I grew up watching Fred and then served as a producer for his program for a decade. I often wonder how he would be teaching through these times and then I remember that all of us who were inspired by his message of love, respect and compassion are carrying that very message forward in the ways that we are. May we all continue to ripple the goodness forth and know and trust that we are ever stronger together rather than on islands apart. Offering my hand and heart to you and to this beautiful and ever growing community ❤️✨
My Internet was down all weekend.. It was a good break!!
Wise words and actions to navigate our current circumstances. Thank you for reminding me that there are higher powers at work in the universe to foster kindness and hope.
Living through daily losses that feel traumatic (overwhelming) to the nervous system, you are so correct, titration is key. Moving in and out, knowing what is mine to carry, replenishing in order to be safe ground for others as needed, you are blending wisdom with neuroscience and trauma informed advisement that is and will be much needed for us all.
Yes Susan, trauma informed advisement is so accurate. For many of us this time is indeed trauma inducing or re introducing. Much of this administration's actions trigger prior happenings or mental battering that we thought we had escaped, overcome, healed from etc... and bang, here it is all over again. Time to bring back all those coping and healing techniques that got us through before.
I am so fatigued, John. I'm searching for stresss relievers and these are really good reminders that all is not lost.
My mother taught me, as a toddler, that it was important to listen to the sermon. She gave me many skills: how to doodle to focus, how to sit still, how to be led out to the child care center when I couldn't. Even though, I feel agnostic these days, I really enjoyed your words.
Community is a good thing for me. Sharing my greatest fear with people who are empathetic took a huge burden off my shoulders. Your reminders are on pointe.
John,
These past eight days have been inspirational and powerful. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for being there for me and I can only imagine how many others. You epitomize the definition of a mensch. Look it up…😁
Fred D