Exactly! This is the dilemma I am living every day. I am not comfortable with not knowing, and I am traumatized by the knowing. It is so difficult to find the balance, within my own head, and in the conversations I have. I vacillate between choosing to be incredibly positive and finding the good, and being filled with absolute rage toward my good friend who voted for the people who are the architects of the hellscape we are facing.
My pain exactly. I am working on healing. I figure that I have until January 25th to get stronger. It's a struggle at this point to even hear the voice of "my" rapist!( That's how I perceive that human that will be our president 😞).
But it's a giant hill in to climb. And I've climbed it many times before, but I was younger
then.
My current decision is whether to spend my last years on earth fighting for our country, or accepting that I can only control so much.😕🤔
Keep going, Monica, take time away as often as you need to, rest, pray, meditate, whatever brings you closer to God, and then jump back in. We need you. 💙
I hear you John. I just wrote a piece for Medium about impending and ongoing disasters (https://medium.com/@patriciaross_63026/sometimes-disasters-start-with-a-spark-d04d44a18de5) but the way I handle the onslaught of all this horrible news is by compartmentalizing. In other words, I am able to sequester it all in some part of my brain without it contaminating the rest of my life which, moment-by-moment, is pretty darn good. There is still beauty, music, children and puppies, and as someone said: "Don't let your pain spoil your joy."
I feel and empathize with every word you just wrote. Thank you for eloquently expressing what I have been feeling. I now live with people who avoid “the news” as I grew up listening to and watching. Although past 65, they get their information via alternative sources - the ones that fed alternative facts.
They are kind, but misled on an ultra sophisticated scale.
“They know not what they do” and what dire consequences it will result for themselves and the rest of us.
It's a mental puzzle for me. I have lived "freedoms" for the past 50 years and suffer when I see the fight that women have again. It's literally painful 😞.
I am 71 and just lost my best friend to cancer. I'm actually afraid for my health over this mess. And no way will UHC pay for PTSD from election results! Lol
Right there with you for the last 60 years. I'm taking a breather, but it's alien to me. Now I'm not watching news, but scrolling through Substack and getting enough, but able to recognize when I need to or put myself at risk flaming out again. I can now ingest information framed in the wisdom of the Serenity Prayer.
Grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change; Courage to change the things I can; and the Wisdom to know the difference. Can I do something in the the next 5 minutes, 5 days, 5 years to alter this situation? Being horrified or angry isn't change. By having awareness of events, I can better assess when and where action is appropriate, but I can no longer stew in outrage.
This is a timely and insightful post that resonates with me and I am sure thousands, if not millions, of others. For me, it is about how we learn to live with ambiguity, uncertainty, and the nuanced layers that is this thing called life. When I read the news (and very selective of my sources), getting historical perspective helps; so, I am careful about not only taking the news in but to putting it in perspective. Recognizing that these extreme positions are the fringes and that most people are on a continuum from nonfunctioning, to underfunctioning to functioning,to overfunctioning. I have been having conversations with friends who voted for Trump. They agree with me on the moral incompatibility with Trump's beliefs (but see different degrees of it with Democrats as well) but voted for Republican economic policies and regulations. I could argue with them (and I have)that these policies are not rooted in Republican values. I could see them as racist, sexist, homophobic, transphobic, xenophobic, etc.. (and admit at one time I did). But that is lazy easy thinking and it mirrors what I don't want others to do with me as socially progressive and DEIB professional. I have come to believe that these folks share the same values but are underfunctioning Antiracist and underfunctioning equity advocates. They hold the values but do not prioritize them with the importance as I do. They do not actively work toward changing the systems that perpetuate these isms (although some donate and support organizations that do). Nor do they see their positions as the catalyst for the complete destruction of democracy. We have spirited and meaningful conversations. It's not easy but helps me to fight effectively and as a happy warrior.
The day after the election I "divorced" myself from television news coverage. I accept that those employed in the news "business" have their jobs to do, but I can no longer abide to listen. I catch headlines, feel disgust, and make every effort to dampen my sickened fears about what lies ahead. For now, this decision has little in downsides. Rather, focusing my energies on other interests is, at best, my lifeline to sanity. I suppose it has helped that Advent and the Christmas Season inherently affords beautiful and meaningful moments. Peace may be elusive; however, the sure belief in what is right will never be.
The 24/7 news cycle marinade is a drug. Too much of it is unhealthy. Most of it is conjecture and opinion. Legacy media is for shareholders, not informed citizenry. Social media is for ad buyers and trackers, not for informed citizenry. Use them for hints to current topics you may want to factually check out. Current stories are 99% outrage-nados. Wait a day and figure out what is actually, credibly known. I aim to be informed, but I no longer confuse that with watching/reading/consuming lots of media. I read a few credible newsletters, follow up on links for more info. I’ll check in on “headlines” for a contour of the daily hot air. I take action when I feel it is pragmatic to contribute to letter writing or phoning my legislators/president/governor. I do not feel uninformed. I feel sane. Can I inspire others who have checked-out for Aldous Huxley’s Brave New World SOMA drug? I don’t care.
Thank you, John. Your message is vital, while unpopular. Post Nov-5, we re-evaluated and now pay moral attention to our financial support and investment in free, courageous, thought-leader and truth-seeking press and news sources, one subscription at a time. We narrowed our support to deep-thinking, global historian experts of our generation, to leaders who have proven over a life of service, a dedication to rule of law, the constitution, the judiciary and bill of rights, to statesmen and coalition-builders (political and news/press), who have spanned decades of US government coverage, to cross-generational news analysts who are fearless in dedication to understanding historical and current trends, facts and truth, and to western European news coverage from reliable and credible sources. The future world of truth-telling press and news sources vitally need financial support. We pulled our political funding and moved those dollars to those thought-leaders who can analyze & distill the knowledge you speak of, and offer valuable insights and wisdom to our cultural, technological, mindful, political, ideological and meta-crises ecosystems. We will not turn away from what needs to be seen and understood, as painful as it is. Carl Jung's words below, cannot be over-stated, to your point.
Then we walk, hike, or snowshoe into the beautiful natural world of our mountain landscape, daily– to feel beauty and goodness and to realize perspective, equanimity and appreciation for what can still feed our sense of awe, mystery, humility and gratitude.
“One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious. The latter procedure, however, is disagreeable and therefore not popular.”
As I read, I felt my chest tighten. I too am struggling to manage my stress and fear. I ended up skimming your post. I didn't want to take in the entirety of it.
I thank you because it encourages me to know that I can choose how much to take in. And I can appreciate the synergy between your words and the response they elicited in me.
And, you've given so many of us the comfort of knowing we're not alone.
I, like you, have taken to minimizing my exposure to the constant barrage of "news". There was a time when you got your news in the morning from the newspaper and in the evening from the TV. The stories were about things we needed to be aware of, important happenings.
These days we are bombarded by minute-by-minute updates in real-time of news and commentary from around the world. Most of the commentary now is put out there by people and organizations that know nothing of the actual truth about what is going on, they just want to feel important and influential. The more inflammatory their comments, the more attention they get. Although the "trusted media" has never been unbiased, at least they mostly tried to get at the truth of things. We turned to our local newscasters and Walter Cronkite and Dan Rather to tell us the details of national and world affairs.
So I'm pulling back from news and social media. I'll still do what I can when I can to advance our democracy, but I don't want to know everything all the time.
Same here. I finally decided to stay off FB except for maybe ten minutes a day, and I unfollowed about 80% of the political stuff I've been following for years. I'm still pretty informed, I've just made the decision not to marinate in it and doomscroll all day and my mental health is already better for it. I hate what's happening, but it's going to happen whether I get all upset about it or not. What I can do is volunteer with my church and causes and local non profits I believe in... That's where I can make change happen. Our government is very unfortunately going to do the things that people voted for them to do (not me) and realistically I just don't think there's that much I can do about it now.
Yes John, I completely relate to what you're saying. When you say, "selectively expose ourselves to media, having the discipline and restraint to know the difference between awareness and self-harm", I feel like therein lies the answer in these times. I have had to totally disconnect from it all for a day, 2 days, whatever it takes for me to feel halfway "ok" again. And while I SO much appreciate the emails I get from you (you are indeed a kindred spirit for me and many others), and read every one of them, just please please take care of yourself and do the same. We need you, my friend. 💙
Exactly! This is the dilemma I am living every day. I am not comfortable with not knowing, and I am traumatized by the knowing. It is so difficult to find the balance, within my own head, and in the conversations I have. I vacillate between choosing to be incredibly positive and finding the good, and being filled with absolute rage toward my good friend who voted for the people who are the architects of the hellscape we are facing.
My pain exactly. I am working on healing. I figure that I have until January 25th to get stronger. It's a struggle at this point to even hear the voice of "my" rapist!( That's how I perceive that human that will be our president 😞).
But it's a giant hill in to climb. And I've climbed it many times before, but I was younger
then.
My current decision is whether to spend my last years on earth fighting for our country, or accepting that I can only control so much.😕🤔
Keep going, Monica, take time away as often as you need to, rest, pray, meditate, whatever brings you closer to God, and then jump back in. We need you. 💙
I hear you John. I just wrote a piece for Medium about impending and ongoing disasters (https://medium.com/@patriciaross_63026/sometimes-disasters-start-with-a-spark-d04d44a18de5) but the way I handle the onslaught of all this horrible news is by compartmentalizing. In other words, I am able to sequester it all in some part of my brain without it contaminating the rest of my life which, moment-by-moment, is pretty darn good. There is still beauty, music, children and puppies, and as someone said: "Don't let your pain spoil your joy."
This sounds like a good plan
🙏🙏🙏
I feel and empathize with every word you just wrote. Thank you for eloquently expressing what I have been feeling. I now live with people who avoid “the news” as I grew up listening to and watching. Although past 65, they get their information via alternative sources - the ones that fed alternative facts.
They are kind, but misled on an ultra sophisticated scale.
“They know not what they do” and what dire consequences it will result for themselves and the rest of us.
It's a mental puzzle for me. I have lived "freedoms" for the past 50 years and suffer when I see the fight that women have again. It's literally painful 😞.
I am 71 and just lost my best friend to cancer. I'm actually afraid for my health over this mess. And no way will UHC pay for PTSD from election results! Lol
"They know not what they do", I thought that exact thing last night...
Or they don't care what they do to others.
Right there with you for the last 60 years. I'm taking a breather, but it's alien to me. Now I'm not watching news, but scrolling through Substack and getting enough, but able to recognize when I need to or put myself at risk flaming out again. I can now ingest information framed in the wisdom of the Serenity Prayer.
Grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change; Courage to change the things I can; and the Wisdom to know the difference. Can I do something in the the next 5 minutes, 5 days, 5 years to alter this situation? Being horrified or angry isn't change. By having awareness of events, I can better assess when and where action is appropriate, but I can no longer stew in outrage.
Thank you for reminding me of the Serenity Prayer. Perfect for the struggle to balance.
This is a timely and insightful post that resonates with me and I am sure thousands, if not millions, of others. For me, it is about how we learn to live with ambiguity, uncertainty, and the nuanced layers that is this thing called life. When I read the news (and very selective of my sources), getting historical perspective helps; so, I am careful about not only taking the news in but to putting it in perspective. Recognizing that these extreme positions are the fringes and that most people are on a continuum from nonfunctioning, to underfunctioning to functioning,to overfunctioning. I have been having conversations with friends who voted for Trump. They agree with me on the moral incompatibility with Trump's beliefs (but see different degrees of it with Democrats as well) but voted for Republican economic policies and regulations. I could argue with them (and I have)that these policies are not rooted in Republican values. I could see them as racist, sexist, homophobic, transphobic, xenophobic, etc.. (and admit at one time I did). But that is lazy easy thinking and it mirrors what I don't want others to do with me as socially progressive and DEIB professional. I have come to believe that these folks share the same values but are underfunctioning Antiracist and underfunctioning equity advocates. They hold the values but do not prioritize them with the importance as I do. They do not actively work toward changing the systems that perpetuate these isms (although some donate and support organizations that do). Nor do they see their positions as the catalyst for the complete destruction of democracy. We have spirited and meaningful conversations. It's not easy but helps me to fight effectively and as a happy warrior.
The day after the election I "divorced" myself from television news coverage. I accept that those employed in the news "business" have their jobs to do, but I can no longer abide to listen. I catch headlines, feel disgust, and make every effort to dampen my sickened fears about what lies ahead. For now, this decision has little in downsides. Rather, focusing my energies on other interests is, at best, my lifeline to sanity. I suppose it has helped that Advent and the Christmas Season inherently affords beautiful and meaningful moments. Peace may be elusive; however, the sure belief in what is right will never be.
The 24/7 news cycle marinade is a drug. Too much of it is unhealthy. Most of it is conjecture and opinion. Legacy media is for shareholders, not informed citizenry. Social media is for ad buyers and trackers, not for informed citizenry. Use them for hints to current topics you may want to factually check out. Current stories are 99% outrage-nados. Wait a day and figure out what is actually, credibly known. I aim to be informed, but I no longer confuse that with watching/reading/consuming lots of media. I read a few credible newsletters, follow up on links for more info. I’ll check in on “headlines” for a contour of the daily hot air. I take action when I feel it is pragmatic to contribute to letter writing or phoning my legislators/president/governor. I do not feel uninformed. I feel sane. Can I inspire others who have checked-out for Aldous Huxley’s Brave New World SOMA drug? I don’t care.
Thank you, John. Your message is vital, while unpopular. Post Nov-5, we re-evaluated and now pay moral attention to our financial support and investment in free, courageous, thought-leader and truth-seeking press and news sources, one subscription at a time. We narrowed our support to deep-thinking, global historian experts of our generation, to leaders who have proven over a life of service, a dedication to rule of law, the constitution, the judiciary and bill of rights, to statesmen and coalition-builders (political and news/press), who have spanned decades of US government coverage, to cross-generational news analysts who are fearless in dedication to understanding historical and current trends, facts and truth, and to western European news coverage from reliable and credible sources. The future world of truth-telling press and news sources vitally need financial support. We pulled our political funding and moved those dollars to those thought-leaders who can analyze & distill the knowledge you speak of, and offer valuable insights and wisdom to our cultural, technological, mindful, political, ideological and meta-crises ecosystems. We will not turn away from what needs to be seen and understood, as painful as it is. Carl Jung's words below, cannot be over-stated, to your point.
Then we walk, hike, or snowshoe into the beautiful natural world of our mountain landscape, daily– to feel beauty and goodness and to realize perspective, equanimity and appreciation for what can still feed our sense of awe, mystery, humility and gratitude.
“One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious. The latter procedure, however, is disagreeable and therefore not popular.”
– Carl Jung
Once again you speak to the pain. Thank you!
Thank you John.
As I read, I felt my chest tighten. I too am struggling to manage my stress and fear. I ended up skimming your post. I didn't want to take in the entirety of it.
I thank you because it encourages me to know that I can choose how much to take in. And I can appreciate the synergy between your words and the response they elicited in me.
And, you've given so many of us the comfort of knowing we're not alone.
I, like you, have taken to minimizing my exposure to the constant barrage of "news". There was a time when you got your news in the morning from the newspaper and in the evening from the TV. The stories were about things we needed to be aware of, important happenings.
These days we are bombarded by minute-by-minute updates in real-time of news and commentary from around the world. Most of the commentary now is put out there by people and organizations that know nothing of the actual truth about what is going on, they just want to feel important and influential. The more inflammatory their comments, the more attention they get. Although the "trusted media" has never been unbiased, at least they mostly tried to get at the truth of things. We turned to our local newscasters and Walter Cronkite and Dan Rather to tell us the details of national and world affairs.
So I'm pulling back from news and social media. I'll still do what I can when I can to advance our democracy, but I don't want to know everything all the time.
Take care of yourselves everyone.
Same.
I hope for the privilege of voting again for democracy
Same here. I finally decided to stay off FB except for maybe ten minutes a day, and I unfollowed about 80% of the political stuff I've been following for years. I'm still pretty informed, I've just made the decision not to marinate in it and doomscroll all day and my mental health is already better for it. I hate what's happening, but it's going to happen whether I get all upset about it or not. What I can do is volunteer with my church and causes and local non profits I believe in... That's where I can make change happen. Our government is very unfortunately going to do the things that people voted for them to do (not me) and realistically I just don't think there's that much I can do about it now.
Usually, I wake up, make coffee, and email my sister, sending
her happy animals we like,places, pretty mugs...
But my email isn't going through. I've checked everything you are supposed to check: nada.
This morning loss makes me sad, irritable, off.
I realize the routine I follow isn't optional.
I call her but emails are better for us.
Well, I will shower, straighten things up, and go to HEB.
(I do watch and read the news in the morning and in the
evening, I stick to Lester Holt!)
Yes John, I completely relate to what you're saying. When you say, "selectively expose ourselves to media, having the discipline and restraint to know the difference between awareness and self-harm", I feel like therein lies the answer in these times. I have had to totally disconnect from it all for a day, 2 days, whatever it takes for me to feel halfway "ok" again. And while I SO much appreciate the emails I get from you (you are indeed a kindred spirit for me and many others), and read every one of them, just please please take care of yourself and do the same. We need you, my friend. 💙