Growing up in the Church, I was taught that the worst thing one could be was a non-believer; that nothing was as tragic as a doomed soul that condemned itself by rejecting God.
Yup. I'm fed up with organized religion. Between the associate pastor making a crude and inappropriate comment toward me, and the hypocrisy, I've had more than enough. I've teasingly told friends that I've become a druid. Not quite true, but I do look upon forests as beautiful and spiritual cathedrals. Nature and gardening offer what the church no longer can in terms of communing with the Divine.
If the beauty (usually) and variety of everything from insects to flowers to geologic formations doesn't tell us something about the mind of the Creator, I don't know what does! I'm a regular church-goer, but my husband loved gardening and some of our grandest trips were within forests and mountain ranges--definitely spiritual.
In grad school, we were talking about the folks in the mountains whose belief was that one had to go to church. Now, in my mind, going to church is not the same thing as being a “Jesus Christian” necessarily. One older woman was castigated by her community for hiking out in the hills every Sunday instead of being in church. Our instructor asked her how she felt about that, and she said something to the effect of “I’d rather be in the hills thinking about God than be in church thinking about the hills.”
Like always the disappointments are coming from people not God (no surprise there).
It is their failure to bring more people to God's wonder and loving world.
Different churches with different rules are getting lost in translation and the Truth coming from God is dissipated therefore it gets people more divided fighting for "their denomination " being better than others.
I believe that all the experiences people are bound to go through will bring them to realize the humanity in each and every one of us.
Caring for one another should bring people closer to God's teachings than any other sermon or religious gathering... it is a more genuine approach to God and His Truth.
We must shift from dogma that sometimes falls short on people's ears and lives (obviously) to a more real, genuine, filled with gratitude and love towards one another approach without passing judgement.
That way I see room for a new church ⛪️ for everyone in the world where Respect is primordial where human beings are equal - just the way God created us to be 🙏💗
LOVE is the universal language in the World so maybe it's a good thing we should all start speaking !
I’m totally with you about Nature and gardening! Sundays, and everyday, are spent gardening as well as walking twice a day on woodsy trails with my dog. From this I feel closer to God then I ever did participating in organized religion. At the same time, immersing myself daily in Nature has heightened my compassion for those who suffer in life in any way. Something going to church never did for me.
I guess I'm different. I was raised Roman Catholic and even planned for years to become a nun. I was going to follow my cousin into the convent and become one of the religious women I loved so much. I started turning away when I was part of a parish in Florida where the pastor was openly pro-war, as in Vietnam. He mocked George McGovern and urged us to vote for Nixon. My experiences in the ensuing years left me adrift. I tried attending several Protestant churches, but being a Quaker came closest to what I wanted in a community of faith.
Fast forward many years, and I found myself attending church again. My daughter had become an involved Catholic, and so I attended to support her. And I found myself joining a parish that actually had a social conscience! The members work for social justice, they welcome all races, they help refugees, they host free showers for homeless people (in a portable facility), they allow people living in campers to stay overnight on their property, etc. And when I admitted that I had questions about matters of faith, I was told that everyone has questions, and that we may not find the answers. But we should do our best to live the way Jesus commanded us.
Although our clergy refrain from discussing politics at our services (which I admire them for), they do act in a way that makes their politics clear. Plus, I loved Pope Francis and his approach to kindness, humility, openness, inclusiveness, and just basic humanity. I'm incredibly sorry we have lost him, and I hope his successor is as great as he is.
So, this is why I am more active in the Catholic Church now. I guess I'm moving in the opposite direction because I happened to find a great place to practice my social beliefs as well as my belief in the words of Jesus.
UGH. I felt the ugliness of the pride of “Christian” leaders repelled me from church. My safe space became one of judgment and Less-Than-jng. Who needs that? My faith became stronger outside the church.
I grew up Church of Christ and much of my family still is. I have become an atheist over the last 5-6 years. I was in it for almost 40. I’m a highly sensitive person and consider what I was raised in religious trauma.
I think it’s all made up.
Sure makes Easter feel lonely and weird. I’m so glad to have the husband I have who shares my views and who can sit with me while I heal. I’m also a therapist now and religious trauma is a main niche of mine. John, your column is appreciated more than you know.
I haven't belonged to a Christian church in decades, but I'm glad that the church my parents attended had a 3-year confirmation class (with confirmation at age 15) that used the Bible as our main textbook. My feeling about the Christian Bible is that the New Testament should be taken as a corrective of the Old Testament's penchant for damnation and a vengeful God. Jesus came to save humankind, and he brought a message of love, not division, not hatred, nor condemnation. I sometimes ask Trump-supporting Bible-Thumpers, (who seem to judge others and want to tell people who aren't Christian or who don't practice a religion that they'll be damned to Hell. To mean that means that Bible-Thumpers are ignoring the overarching message of love in the New Testament.) A fellow adoptive parent, who is deeply religious and whose family belongs to a fundamentalist Christian church, told me that when my wonderful, funny, loving nephew died of a cruel cancer at age 30, he had gone to hell because he was gay. I suggested that the man reread the New Testament and let me know if he was still getting a message of division and judgment. I don't know if he did that. I stopped short of asking him if his "sin" of having two kids with two different women before he married his wife and joined a church was going to be a barrier to him entering the Kingdom of God (since "fornication" is also considered to be a sin if one takes the Old Testament at its word). My family and his haven't socialized since the day that conversation took place. I don't belong to a church anymore, but I believe in a loving God, not in the vengeful God many so-called Christians worship. Also, one of my adopted kids is gay.
I think it is John Fugelsang who says that Christians are the leading cause of atheism. For me, I’m tired of apologizing for a church I don’t belong to.
Thankfully, my mentor in pastoral counseling taught me decades ago that the church is not God. God is God. And God has deemed all of creation to be good. That lesson saved my life. Seems to me there are a lot of Christians now (I refer to them as Christianists) who have no intention of following Jesus. I try to steer clear of them. What is difficult for me is to recognize some of those folks are people I have long looked up to. A woman who was my Bible Study leader in my youth and has been a good friend for 55 years, but now thinks Republican policies about abortion are more important than policies that reflect the love of Christ. A good friend of my deceased mother, who I thought shared my mother's deep faith, but has since shown that her Republican identity is more important to her than her identity with Jesus - or my mother (who, thankfully, was an intelligent Democrat). A close friend who believes "both Parties are the same," while she attends church regularly. I have distanced myself from these folks also. And I am grieving the closeness I thought I had with them, much like John has written about over the past months. The church I grew up in rejected me when I came out as a lesbian woman in the early 1980s. I have since found progressive congregations with which to worship and continue to learn. While I regret that the larger culture no longer sees the community that used to be known by its love, many of us gladly and gratefully continue to act justly, love mercy, and walk humbly with our God. (Micah 6.8)
I'm one of those Christians who believes it's not WHO we love, but HOW we love that matters. My Episcopal church includes members who are decades-together same-sex partners and several people who are trans--one of whom was elected to a position of leadership. I was "converted" when I discovered that two women I admired had been together for 25 years.
Thank you Debbie. My spouse and I have been committed to each other for 37 years now. (Married for 9 years.) A loyal, loving, committed relationship is a challenge for any of us, but most especially when your family, church, and larger culture is trying to break you up and break you down. We have prevailed, and are more committed than ever. Love wins. ❤️
I witnessed the turning from Jesus in my church in January 2024 when a large contingency of the membership voted to disaffiliate from the United Methodist conference. The discussions were eye-opening and quite frankly sickening since then it has been glaringly obvious that it is happening in a vast number of churches, especially in the deep south where I reside my heart is broken, but I continue to follow Jesus, the Jesus of love.
I grew up catholic and attended catholic school from first to eighth grade. The church was a source of confusion and emotional pain so I left at the age of 18. I attempted to return to the church in 2009 but the church had become a political tool and so I left again. The hatred, judgement and lack of empathy from Christians is beyond comprehension and has driven me even further from religion. I don’t see Jesus in any of it and it’s a shame.
I was raised Catholic, too. Then I tried Protestantism. I eventually gave it all up as "a bad job," as our British cousins say. If there is an afterlife and judgment, and God asks me why, I will point directly at the church and say "That's why."
Try reading sue Monk Kidds book The Dance of the Dissident Daughter. Chronicles her journey in faith from evangelical southern Baptist roots to finding what works best for her. Focuses on the patriarchal structure of religion and our culture… Very appropriate for today.
I am so sorry to hear the church had been disappointing for you. Me too. But, please know there are many, many congregations in the USA whose members are dedicated to act justly, love mercy, and walk humbly. Progressive Christians (like John Pavlovitz) are all around you. I hope you will discover them!
I, too, was raised Catholic, back in the day when Mass was in Latin and Sunday School consisted of memorizing answers to the questions in the Baltimore Catechism. I was in my thirties when I got caught up in the Charismatic Renewal and actually learned for the first time that God loves me! I don’t know what I’d be today if I wasn’t a member of a wonderful Catholic Church run by Franciscans.
I feel deeply saddened and lament what I have seen happening for years in the church, the politicizing of the church, using religion as a weapon instead of comforting the afflicted, estranged, marginalized and rejected. The spread of the prosperity gospel is alarming which lifts up the rich and entitled and blames the poor for their lot in life based on the idea they were not doing God's will. When I saw the selling of blessings 7 for $1000, I was stunned by the egregious anthesis of the Gospel teachings that this fake gospel taught. I was shocked to see evangelical pastors and preachers surround a man and lay hands on him in prayer knowing full well his record, his character, his long list of transgressions and thinking he would give them the keys of the nation to establish a theocracy based on their brand of faith. Because of all this and what I witness every day coming from many pulpits and TV mega churches, I gave up calling myself a Christian, if I call myself anything, I call my self a follower or "wayist." My partner and I still got to a lovely UCC church but wonder at times, do we stay Christian? The glaring hypocrisy that keep coming is so odious and so grossly wrong. Have these Christians who aligned themselves with political powers forgotten the real Jesus, or is he just a bumper sticker and sign in their yard and the bible a symbol to use used as a facade to make them feel righteous and privileged as they condemn the immigrant, the muslin, the queer and the liberals among others? Those who do say their magic prayer and swallow their dognma and doctrine are the unsaved, going to hell. How tragic that they do not see God as expansive and a God who loves diversity and inclusion which is what the ministry of Jesus was all about. He called us to a new way of seeing the world and being in it. They missed the point of the Gospels, that is if they read it lately. I am still grieving and feel heavy every day the madness and chaos spin all around us. I have been posting a lot this weekend and speaking out. I need to tend to the animals and garden now.
Blessed Easter to all, Shalom and Namaste, Christos vas Chris! May we rise to live more fully and love wastefully as we have been called by a power much higher than princes, kings and dictators.
No kidding. Somewhere along the line their mission seems to have turned into afflicting, estranging, marginalizing, and rejecting. Jesus is no part of that…
Follow his teachings and ministry, that is the crux of the Yeshua message. Many say they are following Jesus but they are not, it's all show and ritual. Bumper stickers and banners!
I think you hit the nail on the head, John. I once heard that the church should be more like a hospital for sinners rather than a country club for saints. Too many churches are much more like the latter.
I have not left my church because my church is an inclusive, thoughtful, welcoming congregation. It has made ME a better Christian. What I really mourn is that these Christian Nationalists have made me ASHAMED to say I am a Christian. Talk about betrayal of Jesus. I see ads for a “Christian” plumber and I immediately know to go on to another plumber. Those are reasons to mourn. So I do try to show people I’m a Christian by my actions.
Libby-I once had a roofer who tried to charge me more than his contract allotted. When I said I would only pay the contracted price , he came back with ' I'm a fine Christian and wouldn't try to cheat you". My response was, "That's good because I'm a Christian and don't believe in anyone being cheated'" Then paid him the contract price and told everyone I could find not to do business with this 'fine christian thief'.
Matches my experience, and why I no longer serve as a church minister. I became a hospice chaplain and served who desired the compassionate care they had missed in many areas of life.
In fact, Love is still the defining basis of all believers. Since Christianity was usurped by the state in Constantinople, it became the religion of empire. The message changed to one of control not serving others. It became about sin which early on was identified as something all people dealt with and often failed. The Crucifixion stopped all of that as it is for all, salvation (not a home in heaven) is imparted to all and hell no longer remains. Love and it’s evidences such as service to others, forgiveness, welcoming strangers, etc are symptoms of the Spirits work in Love. But... that puts things on a relational level. Much easier to make it about dogmatics and legalism. If you do this!..... you aren’t worthy of heaven. It became an your in or out club.
I’ve been ordained in a Protestant denomination for a few decades. I’ve been hanging with Christian mystics and mysticism through a group of Franciscans and have found the message and orthopraxy what matches perfectly with Jesus and the ascetics etc. teachings. God is Love. If that is true, that not just Their substance, but the motive, the vision, the working out are all live too. It is subject and predicate. Verb and noun. Action and reaction. All things flow from this wellspring and all actions in Christ result. Sadly, folks don’t seek God’s will, they find justification in their own. If one reads Jesus words and the teachings of the prophets and desert Fathers and Mothers the flavor isn’t self centered or self justifying. It is the message of Love, and those practitioners are the people who most resembles Christ. Not pointing fingers, claiming to be better or holier... but those who feed the poor, care for the sick. Volunteer at Hospice. Serve the homeless under the bridge. Hold the grief stricken. Care for the children in bad places etc. And equally important, they see others humanity now matter how broken or disagreeable and extend love to that person. See that person. Hear that person. Then do good works for no reason then not being able to help oneself. Not recognition. Peace
In about 1962 my two sisters joined a right wing Pentecostal church(very Christian nationalist). Their church welcomed Jim Jones when he was fundraising for his "mission" in Guyana. I was 12, and my mother had been very sick all my life and had spent a lot of time teaching me about God and Jesus, their love for us and the love we should have for other people. She wanted to be sure I knew what she considered the basics. Suddenly we were told by them that being baptized in the name of the "Father, Son and Holy Spirit" was idolatry, that we should be baptized in the name of Jesus, women should not cut their hair, nor wear short sleeves, nor jewelry, nor pants and a whole lot more nonsense. My Dad and I wanted nothing to do with this, but my mother wanted to understand why they were convinced that their sect were the only people going to heaven and the rest of us were condemned to hell. Four years later my mother suffered a psychotic break and my Dad ruled out any talk of religion from them ever again. My sisters and I were estranged until our mother fell ill and was dying. We found a truce of sorts. Until I joined the Catholic church at age 53. My sisters threw a fit, and I told them they had no right to try to compel me to their beliefs. My last conversation with my oldest sister in 2017, a few days before she passed, was about how happy she was that Trump had been elected and how great he was going to be so great for the country. Every time Trump does something stupid or hateful, I am reminded that these people who meant the world to me would have approved of what he is doing and it makes me physically ill. As important as it is to me to stay informed about what is going on in our country, I have taken to backing away from news and politics at least one day a week to maintain my sanity. it's just too much-all the hateful things Trump is doing to destroy our country, and I really do understand why people are leaving churches when they can find no trace of Jesus in them. I know I should pray for the maga evangelicals, but I am struggling with how I can do that when they are gleeful about all the people who have died (and will die) as a result of their policies. God help us all!
A friend just reminded me that the things my mom and dad taught me before my sisters joined the cult, are the things that helped me retain my sanity and my faith when I was constantly being bombarded with hate, misogyny, racism, and all the nonsense of Maga (even though it was before it was called Maga). If we can teach our young people there is hope for the future.
It’s tough trying to hold back dogmatics. I used to go to Pentecostal Church every now and again for Wednesday night service because of the music and folks getting happy. I can’t follow Church’s who’s teachings are contrary to Jesus teachings and the laws of love. Folks who don’t understand the liturgy and think only Scripture (sola scriptura) is the basis of the Faith. Preferring the Wesleyan quadrilateral and Mysticism. The Franciscans have a great read on this aspect. I have also found that some Buddhist teachers like Thich Nhat Hanh and others such as Sufi Muslim teachings are helpful. I find the past works of Fr Richard Rohr and in particular James Finley are amazing. The late Peter Gomes books if sermons and his thought process are also illuminating. So is watching Bees pollinate flowers or fish rising in a pond. My favorite is being with people in hospice. Now their is a sermon. So sorry that you’ve felt so much rejection. It isn’t you, it’s your threat to their pile of blocks which are so shaken they can’t take the least bump. Keep seeking and things will come as I’m sure your seeing already. You can’t fix your family. You didn’t cause it, and it’s not your fault. It may not be okay, much of life isn’t. But when we quiet our egos and listen for the Spirit in us and all other beings... sometimes? We get it! Be well.
As a fallen away Presbyterian, I was taught that how I lived my life may be the only example a non-believer may see of Christ in our broken world. I've tried my best to do that. Has it worked? I'm not sure, but thinking I am called to be God's hands in this world gives my life of service some meaning and purpose. I've fallen short too many times to count. And I can still be ill tempered, impatient, and so flawed, it's embarrassing. But I'll continue trying... strengthen the faint hearted, support the weak, and help the suffering. What we do for the least of them, we do for him.
So good, John. This truth is something I have been grieving for years...seeing it coming, and here we are.
I want absolutely no part of the radicalized and toxic so-called Christianity that has taken a wrecking ball to the Gospel that the scriptures attest to Jesus modeling. Done. Want nothing more to do with it, while at the same time purposing to live a life I think Jesus called his followers to.
I somehow think that Jesus approves of all who do, or attempt to do, as He did, regardless of creed. If we do what our God made us to do, in love, we're "in" no matter what creed. When we get to heaven and find out what our God is really like, we won't need creeds--although I repeat one weekly--
Raised Methodist until I was invited to a fundamentalist youth retreat in high school. As a teenager seeking belonging, I thought I had found it. I only found the gateway to years of religious trauma that has taken me years to recover from. Then, in my 60's I found that Christianity and a relationship with Christ no longer had resonance for me. I had always felt an affinity to Judaism, so started exploring. It was when I started attending a reform synagogue did I feel resonance and true belonging. The music, the ritual, the openness, social justice, inclusion and deep meaning felt like home. I am in the process of converting and so thrilled.
Yup. I'm fed up with organized religion. Between the associate pastor making a crude and inappropriate comment toward me, and the hypocrisy, I've had more than enough. I've teasingly told friends that I've become a druid. Not quite true, but I do look upon forests as beautiful and spiritual cathedrals. Nature and gardening offer what the church no longer can in terms of communing with the Divine.
If the beauty (usually) and variety of everything from insects to flowers to geologic formations doesn't tell us something about the mind of the Creator, I don't know what does! I'm a regular church-goer, but my husband loved gardening and some of our grandest trips were within forests and mountain ranges--definitely spiritual.
In grad school, we were talking about the folks in the mountains whose belief was that one had to go to church. Now, in my mind, going to church is not the same thing as being a “Jesus Christian” necessarily. One older woman was castigated by her community for hiking out in the hills every Sunday instead of being in church. Our instructor asked her how she felt about that, and she said something to the effect of “I’d rather be in the hills thinking about God than be in church thinking about the hills.”
I started climbing 14ers at 18 on sundays vs going to church w my mom. I told her I was really close to God up there and I’d tell him hi for her.😉
Oohhh...I love that!
Like always the disappointments are coming from people not God (no surprise there).
It is their failure to bring more people to God's wonder and loving world.
Different churches with different rules are getting lost in translation and the Truth coming from God is dissipated therefore it gets people more divided fighting for "their denomination " being better than others.
I believe that all the experiences people are bound to go through will bring them to realize the humanity in each and every one of us.
Caring for one another should bring people closer to God's teachings than any other sermon or religious gathering... it is a more genuine approach to God and His Truth.
We must shift from dogma that sometimes falls short on people's ears and lives (obviously) to a more real, genuine, filled with gratitude and love towards one another approach without passing judgement.
That way I see room for a new church ⛪️ for everyone in the world where Respect is primordial where human beings are equal - just the way God created us to be 🙏💗
LOVE is the universal language in the World so maybe it's a good thing we should all start speaking !
So well put. Thank you.
I’m totally with you about Nature and gardening! Sundays, and everyday, are spent gardening as well as walking twice a day on woodsy trails with my dog. From this I feel closer to God then I ever did participating in organized religion. At the same time, immersing myself daily in Nature has heightened my compassion for those who suffer in life in any way. Something going to church never did for me.
beautiful! I agree with your perspective wholeheartedly! Best to you sister/brother/friend!
"Druid. Reformed."
Hawkeye Pierce
I guess I'm different. I was raised Roman Catholic and even planned for years to become a nun. I was going to follow my cousin into the convent and become one of the religious women I loved so much. I started turning away when I was part of a parish in Florida where the pastor was openly pro-war, as in Vietnam. He mocked George McGovern and urged us to vote for Nixon. My experiences in the ensuing years left me adrift. I tried attending several Protestant churches, but being a Quaker came closest to what I wanted in a community of faith.
Fast forward many years, and I found myself attending church again. My daughter had become an involved Catholic, and so I attended to support her. And I found myself joining a parish that actually had a social conscience! The members work for social justice, they welcome all races, they help refugees, they host free showers for homeless people (in a portable facility), they allow people living in campers to stay overnight on their property, etc. And when I admitted that I had questions about matters of faith, I was told that everyone has questions, and that we may not find the answers. But we should do our best to live the way Jesus commanded us.
Although our clergy refrain from discussing politics at our services (which I admire them for), they do act in a way that makes their politics clear. Plus, I loved Pope Francis and his approach to kindness, humility, openness, inclusiveness, and just basic humanity. I'm incredibly sorry we have lost him, and I hope his successor is as great as he is.
So, this is why I am more active in the Catholic Church now. I guess I'm moving in the opposite direction because I happened to find a great place to practice my social beliefs as well as my belief in the words of Jesus.
UGH. I felt the ugliness of the pride of “Christian” leaders repelled me from church. My safe space became one of judgment and Less-Than-jng. Who needs that? My faith became stronger outside the church.
I grew up Church of Christ and much of my family still is. I have become an atheist over the last 5-6 years. I was in it for almost 40. I’m a highly sensitive person and consider what I was raised in religious trauma.
I think it’s all made up.
Sure makes Easter feel lonely and weird. I’m so glad to have the husband I have who shares my views and who can sit with me while I heal. I’m also a therapist now and religious trauma is a main niche of mine. John, your column is appreciated more than you know.
I haven't belonged to a Christian church in decades, but I'm glad that the church my parents attended had a 3-year confirmation class (with confirmation at age 15) that used the Bible as our main textbook. My feeling about the Christian Bible is that the New Testament should be taken as a corrective of the Old Testament's penchant for damnation and a vengeful God. Jesus came to save humankind, and he brought a message of love, not division, not hatred, nor condemnation. I sometimes ask Trump-supporting Bible-Thumpers, (who seem to judge others and want to tell people who aren't Christian or who don't practice a religion that they'll be damned to Hell. To mean that means that Bible-Thumpers are ignoring the overarching message of love in the New Testament.) A fellow adoptive parent, who is deeply religious and whose family belongs to a fundamentalist Christian church, told me that when my wonderful, funny, loving nephew died of a cruel cancer at age 30, he had gone to hell because he was gay. I suggested that the man reread the New Testament and let me know if he was still getting a message of division and judgment. I don't know if he did that. I stopped short of asking him if his "sin" of having two kids with two different women before he married his wife and joined a church was going to be a barrier to him entering the Kingdom of God (since "fornication" is also considered to be a sin if one takes the Old Testament at its word). My family and his haven't socialized since the day that conversation took place. I don't belong to a church anymore, but I believe in a loving God, not in the vengeful God many so-called Christians worship. Also, one of my adopted kids is gay.
Jesus came into our world to show us just how much God has for everyone.
I've come to accept that the Christian churches have become the driving force of agnosticism and atheism in this country. Perhaps the world.
You can eat a chocolate Easter bunny even if you don't practice a Christian religion!
I think it is John Fugelsang who says that Christians are the leading cause of atheism. For me, I’m tired of apologizing for a church I don’t belong to.
Let’s stop using euphemisms. Those identifying as “ Evangelical Christians “ are Heretics
I've been saying that for years.
Thankfully, my mentor in pastoral counseling taught me decades ago that the church is not God. God is God. And God has deemed all of creation to be good. That lesson saved my life. Seems to me there are a lot of Christians now (I refer to them as Christianists) who have no intention of following Jesus. I try to steer clear of them. What is difficult for me is to recognize some of those folks are people I have long looked up to. A woman who was my Bible Study leader in my youth and has been a good friend for 55 years, but now thinks Republican policies about abortion are more important than policies that reflect the love of Christ. A good friend of my deceased mother, who I thought shared my mother's deep faith, but has since shown that her Republican identity is more important to her than her identity with Jesus - or my mother (who, thankfully, was an intelligent Democrat). A close friend who believes "both Parties are the same," while she attends church regularly. I have distanced myself from these folks also. And I am grieving the closeness I thought I had with them, much like John has written about over the past months. The church I grew up in rejected me when I came out as a lesbian woman in the early 1980s. I have since found progressive congregations with which to worship and continue to learn. While I regret that the larger culture no longer sees the community that used to be known by its love, many of us gladly and gratefully continue to act justly, love mercy, and walk humbly with our God. (Micah 6.8)
I'm one of those Christians who believes it's not WHO we love, but HOW we love that matters. My Episcopal church includes members who are decades-together same-sex partners and several people who are trans--one of whom was elected to a position of leadership. I was "converted" when I discovered that two women I admired had been together for 25 years.
Thank you Debbie. My spouse and I have been committed to each other for 37 years now. (Married for 9 years.) A loyal, loving, committed relationship is a challenge for any of us, but most especially when your family, church, and larger culture is trying to break you up and break you down. We have prevailed, and are more committed than ever. Love wins. ❤️
I think Jesus would love your church!
I witnessed the turning from Jesus in my church in January 2024 when a large contingency of the membership voted to disaffiliate from the United Methodist conference. The discussions were eye-opening and quite frankly sickening since then it has been glaringly obvious that it is happening in a vast number of churches, especially in the deep south where I reside my heart is broken, but I continue to follow Jesus, the Jesus of love.
I grew up catholic and attended catholic school from first to eighth grade. The church was a source of confusion and emotional pain so I left at the age of 18. I attempted to return to the church in 2009 but the church had become a political tool and so I left again. The hatred, judgement and lack of empathy from Christians is beyond comprehension and has driven me even further from religion. I don’t see Jesus in any of it and it’s a shame.
I was raised Catholic, too. Then I tried Protestantism. I eventually gave it all up as "a bad job," as our British cousins say. If there is an afterlife and judgment, and God asks me why, I will point directly at the church and say "That's why."
Try reading sue Monk Kidds book The Dance of the Dissident Daughter. Chronicles her journey in faith from evangelical southern Baptist roots to finding what works best for her. Focuses on the patriarchal structure of religion and our culture… Very appropriate for today.
I am so sorry to hear the church had been disappointing for you. Me too. But, please know there are many, many congregations in the USA whose members are dedicated to act justly, love mercy, and walk humbly. Progressive Christians (like John Pavlovitz) are all around you. I hope you will discover them!
I, too, was raised Catholic, back in the day when Mass was in Latin and Sunday School consisted of memorizing answers to the questions in the Baltimore Catechism. I was in my thirties when I got caught up in the Charismatic Renewal and actually learned for the first time that God loves me! I don’t know what I’d be today if I wasn’t a member of a wonderful Catholic Church run by Franciscans.
I feel deeply saddened and lament what I have seen happening for years in the church, the politicizing of the church, using religion as a weapon instead of comforting the afflicted, estranged, marginalized and rejected. The spread of the prosperity gospel is alarming which lifts up the rich and entitled and blames the poor for their lot in life based on the idea they were not doing God's will. When I saw the selling of blessings 7 for $1000, I was stunned by the egregious anthesis of the Gospel teachings that this fake gospel taught. I was shocked to see evangelical pastors and preachers surround a man and lay hands on him in prayer knowing full well his record, his character, his long list of transgressions and thinking he would give them the keys of the nation to establish a theocracy based on their brand of faith. Because of all this and what I witness every day coming from many pulpits and TV mega churches, I gave up calling myself a Christian, if I call myself anything, I call my self a follower or "wayist." My partner and I still got to a lovely UCC church but wonder at times, do we stay Christian? The glaring hypocrisy that keep coming is so odious and so grossly wrong. Have these Christians who aligned themselves with political powers forgotten the real Jesus, or is he just a bumper sticker and sign in their yard and the bible a symbol to use used as a facade to make them feel righteous and privileged as they condemn the immigrant, the muslin, the queer and the liberals among others? Those who do say their magic prayer and swallow their dognma and doctrine are the unsaved, going to hell. How tragic that they do not see God as expansive and a God who loves diversity and inclusion which is what the ministry of Jesus was all about. He called us to a new way of seeing the world and being in it. They missed the point of the Gospels, that is if they read it lately. I am still grieving and feel heavy every day the madness and chaos spin all around us. I have been posting a lot this weekend and speaking out. I need to tend to the animals and garden now.
Blessed Easter to all, Shalom and Namaste, Christos vas Chris! May we rise to live more fully and love wastefully as we have been called by a power much higher than princes, kings and dictators.
No kidding. Somewhere along the line their mission seems to have turned into afflicting, estranging, marginalizing, and rejecting. Jesus is no part of that…
Indeed, they just use his image as a facade, and their mission is domination and subjugation. They don't even hide that anymore.
We can’t go wrong if we follow Jesus.
Follow his teachings and ministry, that is the crux of the Yeshua message. Many say they are following Jesus but they are not, it's all show and ritual. Bumper stickers and banners!
I think you hit the nail on the head, John. I once heard that the church should be more like a hospital for sinners rather than a country club for saints. Too many churches are much more like the latter.
“A hospital for sinners!” Jesus would love that!
I have not left my church because my church is an inclusive, thoughtful, welcoming congregation. It has made ME a better Christian. What I really mourn is that these Christian Nationalists have made me ASHAMED to say I am a Christian. Talk about betrayal of Jesus. I see ads for a “Christian” plumber and I immediately know to go on to another plumber. Those are reasons to mourn. So I do try to show people I’m a Christian by my actions.
Libby-I once had a roofer who tried to charge me more than his contract allotted. When I said I would only pay the contracted price , he came back with ' I'm a fine Christian and wouldn't try to cheat you". My response was, "That's good because I'm a Christian and don't believe in anyone being cheated'" Then paid him the contract price and told everyone I could find not to do business with this 'fine christian thief'.
So glad you’ve found the right church.
Matches my experience, and why I no longer serve as a church minister. I became a hospice chaplain and served who desired the compassionate care they had missed in many areas of life.
In fact, Love is still the defining basis of all believers. Since Christianity was usurped by the state in Constantinople, it became the religion of empire. The message changed to one of control not serving others. It became about sin which early on was identified as something all people dealt with and often failed. The Crucifixion stopped all of that as it is for all, salvation (not a home in heaven) is imparted to all and hell no longer remains. Love and it’s evidences such as service to others, forgiveness, welcoming strangers, etc are symptoms of the Spirits work in Love. But... that puts things on a relational level. Much easier to make it about dogmatics and legalism. If you do this!..... you aren’t worthy of heaven. It became an your in or out club.
I’ve been ordained in a Protestant denomination for a few decades. I’ve been hanging with Christian mystics and mysticism through a group of Franciscans and have found the message and orthopraxy what matches perfectly with Jesus and the ascetics etc. teachings. God is Love. If that is true, that not just Their substance, but the motive, the vision, the working out are all live too. It is subject and predicate. Verb and noun. Action and reaction. All things flow from this wellspring and all actions in Christ result. Sadly, folks don’t seek God’s will, they find justification in their own. If one reads Jesus words and the teachings of the prophets and desert Fathers and Mothers the flavor isn’t self centered or self justifying. It is the message of Love, and those practitioners are the people who most resembles Christ. Not pointing fingers, claiming to be better or holier... but those who feed the poor, care for the sick. Volunteer at Hospice. Serve the homeless under the bridge. Hold the grief stricken. Care for the children in bad places etc. And equally important, they see others humanity now matter how broken or disagreeable and extend love to that person. See that person. Hear that person. Then do good works for no reason then not being able to help oneself. Not recognition. Peace
Exactly my point ... that means we are onto something 💝💯
In about 1962 my two sisters joined a right wing Pentecostal church(very Christian nationalist). Their church welcomed Jim Jones when he was fundraising for his "mission" in Guyana. I was 12, and my mother had been very sick all my life and had spent a lot of time teaching me about God and Jesus, their love for us and the love we should have for other people. She wanted to be sure I knew what she considered the basics. Suddenly we were told by them that being baptized in the name of the "Father, Son and Holy Spirit" was idolatry, that we should be baptized in the name of Jesus, women should not cut their hair, nor wear short sleeves, nor jewelry, nor pants and a whole lot more nonsense. My Dad and I wanted nothing to do with this, but my mother wanted to understand why they were convinced that their sect were the only people going to heaven and the rest of us were condemned to hell. Four years later my mother suffered a psychotic break and my Dad ruled out any talk of religion from them ever again. My sisters and I were estranged until our mother fell ill and was dying. We found a truce of sorts. Until I joined the Catholic church at age 53. My sisters threw a fit, and I told them they had no right to try to compel me to their beliefs. My last conversation with my oldest sister in 2017, a few days before she passed, was about how happy she was that Trump had been elected and how great he was going to be so great for the country. Every time Trump does something stupid or hateful, I am reminded that these people who meant the world to me would have approved of what he is doing and it makes me physically ill. As important as it is to me to stay informed about what is going on in our country, I have taken to backing away from news and politics at least one day a week to maintain my sanity. it's just too much-all the hateful things Trump is doing to destroy our country, and I really do understand why people are leaving churches when they can find no trace of Jesus in them. I know I should pray for the maga evangelicals, but I am struggling with how I can do that when they are gleeful about all the people who have died (and will die) as a result of their policies. God help us all!
A friend just reminded me that the things my mom and dad taught me before my sisters joined the cult, are the things that helped me retain my sanity and my faith when I was constantly being bombarded with hate, misogyny, racism, and all the nonsense of Maga (even though it was before it was called Maga). If we can teach our young people there is hope for the future.
You learned the most important things ever from your mom and dad in those early years. You were blessed.
It’s tough trying to hold back dogmatics. I used to go to Pentecostal Church every now and again for Wednesday night service because of the music and folks getting happy. I can’t follow Church’s who’s teachings are contrary to Jesus teachings and the laws of love. Folks who don’t understand the liturgy and think only Scripture (sola scriptura) is the basis of the Faith. Preferring the Wesleyan quadrilateral and Mysticism. The Franciscans have a great read on this aspect. I have also found that some Buddhist teachers like Thich Nhat Hanh and others such as Sufi Muslim teachings are helpful. I find the past works of Fr Richard Rohr and in particular James Finley are amazing. The late Peter Gomes books if sermons and his thought process are also illuminating. So is watching Bees pollinate flowers or fish rising in a pond. My favorite is being with people in hospice. Now their is a sermon. So sorry that you’ve felt so much rejection. It isn’t you, it’s your threat to their pile of blocks which are so shaken they can’t take the least bump. Keep seeking and things will come as I’m sure your seeing already. You can’t fix your family. You didn’t cause it, and it’s not your fault. It may not be okay, much of life isn’t. But when we quiet our egos and listen for the Spirit in us and all other beings... sometimes? We get it! Be well.
As a fallen away Presbyterian, I was taught that how I lived my life may be the only example a non-believer may see of Christ in our broken world. I've tried my best to do that. Has it worked? I'm not sure, but thinking I am called to be God's hands in this world gives my life of service some meaning and purpose. I've fallen short too many times to count. And I can still be ill tempered, impatient, and so flawed, it's embarrassing. But I'll continue trying... strengthen the faint hearted, support the weak, and help the suffering. What we do for the least of them, we do for him.
That’s what the Evangelicals don’t seem to get.
As my husband used to say, "the only thing wrong with organized religion is that it's run by people."
👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
So good, John. This truth is something I have been grieving for years...seeing it coming, and here we are.
I want absolutely no part of the radicalized and toxic so-called Christianity that has taken a wrecking ball to the Gospel that the scriptures attest to Jesus modeling. Done. Want nothing more to do with it, while at the same time purposing to live a life I think Jesus called his followers to.
In a world of billions, how egotistical of Christians to know for sure theirs is THE one. Sorry Muslims, Hindus, Buddhist.
This is one Christian who believes there is one God and many paths to his Grace.
Amen!
I somehow think that Jesus approves of all who do, or attempt to do, as He did, regardless of creed. If we do what our God made us to do, in love, we're "in" no matter what creed. When we get to heaven and find out what our God is really like, we won't need creeds--although I repeat one weekly--
Raised Methodist until I was invited to a fundamentalist youth retreat in high school. As a teenager seeking belonging, I thought I had found it. I only found the gateway to years of religious trauma that has taken me years to recover from. Then, in my 60's I found that Christianity and a relationship with Christ no longer had resonance for me. I had always felt an affinity to Judaism, so started exploring. It was when I started attending a reform synagogue did I feel resonance and true belonging. The music, the ritual, the openness, social justice, inclusion and deep meaning felt like home. I am in the process of converting and so thrilled.