As I watch men on the Right arguing against the release of the Jeffrey Epstein files, I am reminded again how weak they all are, what a pathetic joke MAGA manhood is as an idea.
So very well stated. Bravo! Spoken like real strong, secure man. Where are they all? Pitiful. This is patriarchy for you. Pathetic. Tragic for all of us. Thank you.
I listen to young men who are so completely confused about what manhood is because of this toxic mix of christo fascism and patriarchy. My own brother is in the cult of being a “god fearing” man. As a male, I am so saddened and discouraged over the harm caused by the entitlement of men which causes so much emotional and physical pain and trauma on women and children. I fear for my grandsons being raised in this world of hate.
John, THIS has been a particular “pet peeve,” source of irritation, frustration, and frankly righteous anger I hope, for most of my 72 year old life. I am a straight, married, white male, evangelical normal Christian—-or what I thought was normal until 10 years ago. Boy was I wrong.
Long before Trump and MAGA, long before “Jesus and John Wayne,” long before “Wild at Heart,” I remember being creeped out 50+ years ago by Bill Gothard. I also always detested the macho man, “boys will be boys,” superior male attitude inside as well as outside the church. And now we have the same as a national disease. Trump of course is Exhibit A but Hegseth, Kirk, and really the entire right wing universe, both secular and Christian.
I know much of this is fear now and lack of moral courage to cross Trump, but if you think about it, women do not count, they do not really matter, in the evangelical world view. See John MacArthur and the abusive staff member and he just said “suck it up woman.” So when it is all said and done, what happened to those girls is not that important. In the religious world, “restoring” these male pastors to ministry after a sex scandal, is ten times more important than the victims. I am so tired of America………
None of this alpha male stuff has anything to do with true masculinity. It makes me sick. Thanks, John. You nailed it again.
Your column the other day about Christianity fatigue hit me hard. I am STRUGGLING these days, and no one in my circles cares. They are either blinded by lies or oblivious to everything and detached from the real world. Anyway, keep up the good work.
My mom was the perennial president of our town’s Republican Women’s Club. I can feel her horror for what the Grand Old Party has turned into from the grave. She would not tolerate the circus that is the Republican Party of today. None of us should. No excuses. I know it’s hard to see your affiliate political party turn on long held beliefs in favor of allegiance to a rapist who is also not very bright. But…. Republicans! It’s time for you to speak out now!!!
Every. Single. Republican. Voted No on the release of the files. Even Marge, who posted only the night before how "everyone should be appalled at not releasing the files", voted to not releasing the files. We need to keep building up our TRULY strong, sensitive, empathetic, kind men in our lives.
Interesting that they hate on transgender women, banning them from women's bathrooms because lord-knows-what they might do to other women in there. In fact, they actually deny their very existence. We have only male and female as designated at birth. Period.
I can tell you from the experience of my trangender daughter and her peers that they would be the VERY LAST to harm another woman -- cisgender or trans. They have been hated, harmed and abused by MALES and would be the first to defend other women.
So the MAGAts claim to care about the abuse of women, yet seem to be OK with what Epstein and his like have done because "they" may have been one of "us", and we can't let that get out. What hateful trash they are! What a totally lack of moral priorities!
John, you’ve walked the knife’s edge between sorrow and fury, and done it with a clarity that makes the blood boil and the heart break at the same time. I’ve read your words twice now, and I feel them in my chest like a bruise forming under the surface.
Because this isn’t just a takedown of MAGA masculinity—it’s an autopsy.
And I’ll say it plainly, as a man who spent decades in the federal trenches—this perversion of manhood that MAGA peddles is not just false. It’s cowardice draped in camouflage, and it’s killing us.
They strut like roosters and shrink like mice. They pound their chests about “protecting our girls” while sheltering predators in their midst. They crow about “real men” while excusing the most grotesque form of moral rot because it wears a red hat and talks tough on Fox News. That’s not strength—it’s spiritual decay.
Let me tell you what I’ve learned about manhood through decades of war, surveillance, loss, and grief:
Real men don’t hide behind slogans.
Real men don’t whimper when the truth scorches their hero.
Real men don’t let children be raped so they can keep pretending their vote wasn’t a sin.
You want to see what failure looks like? Watch a man ignore his daughter’s future to protect his ego. Watch a man of “faith” who can quote Corinthians but not condemn rape. Watch a patriot who’ll die on the hill of tax cuts but can’t lift a finger for justice.
What MAGA has done is hollow out masculinity and fill it with grievance, fear, and obedience. That’s their altar. That’s their church. And now, we see the cost.
They cannot speak because they cannot face it: the man they crowned as savior is more Epstein than Eisenhower. And if they admit that, their whole house of manhood collapses. So instead, they stand in the wreckage and call it a temple.
No. Not on my watch.
If you’re a man and you’ve ever loved a woman—truly loved her, protected her, listened to her, believed her—you don’t get to play dumb now. You don’t get to sit out this part. This is the trial by fire, and your silence is complicity.
John, you’re right. They’re not strong enough.
But some of us still are.
Some of us never bowed, never swallowed the poison, never traded our decency for tribal power. Some of us still know that manhood is not dominance. It’s duty. Not allegiance to a tyrant, but allegiance to the truth.
So let the files come out.
Let the whole damn nest of vipers burn in daylight.
And when it does, may the silence of these performative patriots echo forever as a monument to the weakness they mistook for strength.
I call it misogyny. The reluctance to stand up for women. If only they would realize that strong men have strong women in their lives. Take that, Buttker!
I guess what concerns me more is wondering are all of those manly men of the same ilk in how women and girls should be treated? Are they quietly envious? Vicariously living their fantasy through he and his very sick disciples. To act on it or say it out loud they would never, but their cowardice to speak up against makes me question where do they truly stand around the treatment of women? A bit tongue in cheek, I suppose, but it can lead a woman to wonder about it. I think that ultimately many of these folks (men and women- all who voted for him) who just deny or defend or rationalize EVERY reprehensible action by him and his minions just cannot ever admit being wrong. For some it’s just the digging in to not be wrong. For some it’s just being ‘against the other side’ no matter what. For others who are starting to have some doubts, to allow the self-awareness reflection about what horrors against humanity their vote means now would also likely come with a self-admission that ‘I’m a terrible person with terribly flawed judgment’ (I’m not saying that’s so of everyone, necessarily, some are just gullible or uneducated, but one would have to ask themselves that question in the discernment of their support of him and his policies and actions, wouldn’t they?). Am I a MONSTER? That’s a very difficult process for many/most humans, isn’t it? And especially for white Americans and for white American men even more so. To ask, how could I have been complicit in this atrocity?!! Especially if they claim Jesus as their Savior?! That’s A LOT of dissonance that I just don’t see many of those folks being willing to process and accept and change. It has to come from within themselves. I write, and march, and protest, and speak up. Mostly, I remain deeply, fervently prayerful.
The best definition of Donald Trump is from John Bolton:
"He lacks any shred of human decency, humility or caring. He is morally bankrupt, breathtakingly dishonest, lethally incompetent and stunningly ignorant of virtually anything involving governing, history, geography, human events or world affairs. He is a traitor and a malignancy in our nation and represents a clear and present danger to our democracy and the rule of law."
You hit the nail on the head with this one. Why would these men, who would physically harm someone who did their own daughter wrong not stand up for all daughters? Unbelievable.
A little over a week ago, I was informed by my youngest brother (J) that my other brother (G) was divorcing his wife of over 40 years. J informed me of this information via conversations he had been having with my sister in law for the past month. G left the divorce papers on the kitchen table for my sister in law to find on her own.
A day after J had informed me of the pending divorce, I realized that we had not heard from G at all. So I inquired of J further information. J explained the above to me, and I responded, " I don't understand why haven't we heard from G about this?" J said, "I'm not-he's probably embarrassed, ashamed and afraid of what we will say to him."
And that's MAGA masculinity to a T-all bully and bluster (talking the talk) without any walking the walk.
And I am completely done with them. Both those who are the bullies (G) and those who defend them (J).
Hey, my ex-husband divorced me after 40 years of marriage,and 4 children/4 grandsons, also. Found out later, he had a benign brain tumor. He's on his third wife now. Life doesn't always turn out how you planned.
Don't I know it-my husband died just two weeks before the 2016 election, his mother the following year almost to the day and my father the next year. I now care for my mom with dementia in her home states away from my own home, my children and grands and friends....didn't have any of this on my bingo card.
These are snowflake men who outwardly act for their bros like they are “macho men” when actually they’re just frightened little boys (and I mean little). They have no ethics, morals, or values. Real men don’t stand on others they stand up for others.
Women like Kamala Harris scare the crap out of MAGA 'men'. Smart, educated, self assured, unafraid, and best of all, a great sense of humor. Actually, men with those characteristics scare the crap out of MAGA pukes, too.
So very well stated. Bravo! Spoken like real strong, secure man. Where are they all? Pitiful. This is patriarchy for you. Pathetic. Tragic for all of us. Thank you.
I listen to young men who are so completely confused about what manhood is because of this toxic mix of christo fascism and patriarchy. My own brother is in the cult of being a “god fearing” man. As a male, I am so saddened and discouraged over the harm caused by the entitlement of men which causes so much emotional and physical pain and trauma on women and children. I fear for my grandsons being raised in this world of hate.
John, THIS has been a particular “pet peeve,” source of irritation, frustration, and frankly righteous anger I hope, for most of my 72 year old life. I am a straight, married, white male, evangelical normal Christian—-or what I thought was normal until 10 years ago. Boy was I wrong.
Long before Trump and MAGA, long before “Jesus and John Wayne,” long before “Wild at Heart,” I remember being creeped out 50+ years ago by Bill Gothard. I also always detested the macho man, “boys will be boys,” superior male attitude inside as well as outside the church. And now we have the same as a national disease. Trump of course is Exhibit A but Hegseth, Kirk, and really the entire right wing universe, both secular and Christian.
I know much of this is fear now and lack of moral courage to cross Trump, but if you think about it, women do not count, they do not really matter, in the evangelical world view. See John MacArthur and the abusive staff member and he just said “suck it up woman.” So when it is all said and done, what happened to those girls is not that important. In the religious world, “restoring” these male pastors to ministry after a sex scandal, is ten times more important than the victims. I am so tired of America………
None of this alpha male stuff has anything to do with true masculinity. It makes me sick. Thanks, John. You nailed it again.
Your column the other day about Christianity fatigue hit me hard. I am STRUGGLING these days, and no one in my circles cares. They are either blinded by lies or oblivious to everything and detached from the real world. Anyway, keep up the good work.
The "alpha male" shit is just insecure, weak men posturing in an attempt to impress others. Real men can see right through it.
What you describe is misogyny, with a thin veneer of pseudo-Christianity.
My mom was the perennial president of our town’s Republican Women’s Club. I can feel her horror for what the Grand Old Party has turned into from the grave. She would not tolerate the circus that is the Republican Party of today. None of us should. No excuses. I know it’s hard to see your affiliate political party turn on long held beliefs in favor of allegiance to a rapist who is also not very bright. But…. Republicans! It’s time for you to speak out now!!!
Is protecting their guy who is most certainly on top of the Epstein list as low as they'll go? Sadly, I doubt it.
No, they are not strong at all. Morally weak and corrupt. The Republicans hiding in Washington and the MAGA cowards. Shameful.
Every. Single. Republican. Voted No on the release of the files. Even Marge, who posted only the night before how "everyone should be appalled at not releasing the files", voted to not releasing the files. We need to keep building up our TRULY strong, sensitive, empathetic, kind men in our lives.
Interesting that they hate on transgender women, banning them from women's bathrooms because lord-knows-what they might do to other women in there. In fact, they actually deny their very existence. We have only male and female as designated at birth. Period.
I can tell you from the experience of my trangender daughter and her peers that they would be the VERY LAST to harm another woman -- cisgender or trans. They have been hated, harmed and abused by MALES and would be the first to defend other women.
So the MAGAts claim to care about the abuse of women, yet seem to be OK with what Epstein and his like have done because "they" may have been one of "us", and we can't let that get out. What hateful trash they are! What a totally lack of moral priorities!
John, you’ve walked the knife’s edge between sorrow and fury, and done it with a clarity that makes the blood boil and the heart break at the same time. I’ve read your words twice now, and I feel them in my chest like a bruise forming under the surface.
Because this isn’t just a takedown of MAGA masculinity—it’s an autopsy.
And I’ll say it plainly, as a man who spent decades in the federal trenches—this perversion of manhood that MAGA peddles is not just false. It’s cowardice draped in camouflage, and it’s killing us.
They strut like roosters and shrink like mice. They pound their chests about “protecting our girls” while sheltering predators in their midst. They crow about “real men” while excusing the most grotesque form of moral rot because it wears a red hat and talks tough on Fox News. That’s not strength—it’s spiritual decay.
Let me tell you what I’ve learned about manhood through decades of war, surveillance, loss, and grief:
Real men don’t hide behind slogans.
Real men don’t whimper when the truth scorches their hero.
Real men don’t let children be raped so they can keep pretending their vote wasn’t a sin.
You want to see what failure looks like? Watch a man ignore his daughter’s future to protect his ego. Watch a man of “faith” who can quote Corinthians but not condemn rape. Watch a patriot who’ll die on the hill of tax cuts but can’t lift a finger for justice.
What MAGA has done is hollow out masculinity and fill it with grievance, fear, and obedience. That’s their altar. That’s their church. And now, we see the cost.
They cannot speak because they cannot face it: the man they crowned as savior is more Epstein than Eisenhower. And if they admit that, their whole house of manhood collapses. So instead, they stand in the wreckage and call it a temple.
No. Not on my watch.
If you’re a man and you’ve ever loved a woman—truly loved her, protected her, listened to her, believed her—you don’t get to play dumb now. You don’t get to sit out this part. This is the trial by fire, and your silence is complicity.
John, you’re right. They’re not strong enough.
But some of us still are.
Some of us never bowed, never swallowed the poison, never traded our decency for tribal power. Some of us still know that manhood is not dominance. It’s duty. Not allegiance to a tyrant, but allegiance to the truth.
So let the files come out.
Let the whole damn nest of vipers burn in daylight.
And when it does, may the silence of these performative patriots echo forever as a monument to the weakness they mistook for strength.
I call it misogyny. The reluctance to stand up for women. If only they would realize that strong men have strong women in their lives. Take that, Buttker!
I don't think they want strong women. That's why these men try to minimize women and keep them down.
They want submissive housekeepers who are also submissive sexual partners and incubators for their seed.
Exactly. That's what their version of a "Trad Wife" is.
I guess what concerns me more is wondering are all of those manly men of the same ilk in how women and girls should be treated? Are they quietly envious? Vicariously living their fantasy through he and his very sick disciples. To act on it or say it out loud they would never, but their cowardice to speak up against makes me question where do they truly stand around the treatment of women? A bit tongue in cheek, I suppose, but it can lead a woman to wonder about it. I think that ultimately many of these folks (men and women- all who voted for him) who just deny or defend or rationalize EVERY reprehensible action by him and his minions just cannot ever admit being wrong. For some it’s just the digging in to not be wrong. For some it’s just being ‘against the other side’ no matter what. For others who are starting to have some doubts, to allow the self-awareness reflection about what horrors against humanity their vote means now would also likely come with a self-admission that ‘I’m a terrible person with terribly flawed judgment’ (I’m not saying that’s so of everyone, necessarily, some are just gullible or uneducated, but one would have to ask themselves that question in the discernment of their support of him and his policies and actions, wouldn’t they?). Am I a MONSTER? That’s a very difficult process for many/most humans, isn’t it? And especially for white Americans and for white American men even more so. To ask, how could I have been complicit in this atrocity?!! Especially if they claim Jesus as their Savior?! That’s A LOT of dissonance that I just don’t see many of those folks being willing to process and accept and change. It has to come from within themselves. I write, and march, and protest, and speak up. Mostly, I remain deeply, fervently prayerful.
The best definition of Donald Trump is from John Bolton:
"He lacks any shred of human decency, humility or caring. He is morally bankrupt, breathtakingly dishonest, lethally incompetent and stunningly ignorant of virtually anything involving governing, history, geography, human events or world affairs. He is a traitor and a malignancy in our nation and represents a clear and present danger to our democracy and the rule of law."
You hit the nail on the head with this one. Why would these men, who would physically harm someone who did their own daughter wrong not stand up for all daughters? Unbelievable.
Spot on, John, spot on.
A little over a week ago, I was informed by my youngest brother (J) that my other brother (G) was divorcing his wife of over 40 years. J informed me of this information via conversations he had been having with my sister in law for the past month. G left the divorce papers on the kitchen table for my sister in law to find on her own.
A day after J had informed me of the pending divorce, I realized that we had not heard from G at all. So I inquired of J further information. J explained the above to me, and I responded, " I don't understand why haven't we heard from G about this?" J said, "I'm not-he's probably embarrassed, ashamed and afraid of what we will say to him."
And that's MAGA masculinity to a T-all bully and bluster (talking the talk) without any walking the walk.
And I am completely done with them. Both those who are the bullies (G) and those who defend them (J).
And…MAGA masculinity demands that women do their dirty work for them. Pisses me off to a huge degree!!
Hey, my ex-husband divorced me after 40 years of marriage,and 4 children/4 grandsons, also. Found out later, he had a benign brain tumor. He's on his third wife now. Life doesn't always turn out how you planned.
Don't I know it-my husband died just two weeks before the 2016 election, his mother the following year almost to the day and my father the next year. I now care for my mom with dementia in her home states away from my own home, my children and grands and friends....didn't have any of this on my bingo card.
These are snowflake men who outwardly act for their bros like they are “macho men” when actually they’re just frightened little boys (and I mean little). They have no ethics, morals, or values. Real men don’t stand on others they stand up for others.
Women like Kamala Harris scare the crap out of MAGA 'men'. Smart, educated, self assured, unafraid, and best of all, a great sense of humor. Actually, men with those characteristics scare the crap out of MAGA pukes, too.
For a group that professes family values - they are sorely lacking. We can Charlie Kirk for some of this too.