I needed this today. You literally are what is keeping me sane, considering how unbelievable that anyone voted for this hateful person. I have had to break my relationship with my two brothers, who are extreme MAGA's, and these relationships are not reparable. I spent my whole career as a high school choir director teaching students, many who identified as LGBTQ. It was heart wrenching observing their struggles in being accepted, and a few resorted to suicide. I hope we will get through the next 4 years, but I have a sinking feeling. Thank you again for your help.
Thank you, Evelyn Rupert, for helping your then students. With LGBTQ family, friends & colleagues, with immigrant friends (and me only 1 gen away from my grandparent immigrants from Eastern Europe), I can’t manage those who intentionally hurt others.
Yesterday I had an opportunity to preach on White Christian Nationalism. Yes, really. In Florida, too. And it was liberating. And no one walked out. Small steps.
Although I feel exactly as you described, I realize that today is the day I make my stand to carry out what I've been dreading. I think I've been waiting for some miracle to happen that would keep all of this from coming true. I already "unfollowed" many people with whom I share genetic and familial ties, as well as former friends, but today is the day when I have to finally deal with what I'm going to do with the ten years or so I have left on this planet, it could be even less.
I know nothing is going to be the same; the country I have loved and served is radically different now, taken over by hatred and a desire for complete control by one faction, supported in part by religious zealots. As a seventy-year-old married gay man who lived through so much anti-LGBTQ sentiment from childhood on, I yet again fear for my life and my right to exist. I fear even more for the younger generation and all the transgender people I know. I've never once considered leaving the country for any reason other than pleasure, but it's now on our minds every day. My husband and I recently celebrated our fortieth anniversary together, ten years legally married. What's going to happen to that? We live in a state where, if they had a chance to do so, would negate our rights in a heartbeat.
I appreciate everything you say, and for giving me and others a forum for safely sharing our views. By design, social media is becoming less and less safe. I know we'll need you even more in the future. Today, I feel a deep emptiness in my soul. I hope to fill it with some hope once I develop my plans, but just for today, I rest. Tomorrow, I can start anew and begin sharing with my friends how I plan to survive and help them survive, as well.
I cannot begin to understand how you are feeling at this moment but I wanted to perk up and say that there are many allies out there who are still feeling a sense of shock and looking for direction. Hopefully they'll get their bearings and can start helping members of the LGBTQ+ community and envelop you with comfort. I've been trying my best to let the handful of LGBTQ+ folks in my life know that I am there for them and I will use my voice as a cis white male to push back against the people who wish them harm. It's all we can do but it's far better than doing nothing.
Take time to collect yourself and heal as it appears you are still grieving. You cannot fill from an empty cup.
Several gay and lesbian couples I know and love are leaving the country. Like you, they are older and want to spend the latter part of their lives in peace. Do whatever you need to do to take care of yourself and your beloved husband. And congratulations on 40 years of love!
Tho it is not a day to celebrate, it is to say mazel tov to you on 40 years with your husband. To have waited so long to have a legal marriage took strength.
OMG Michael, sending so much love your way. I can't even imagine the fear you feel, but just know there are so many of us that are here for you and your partner. There will be a better time, just sadly not in the near future!
I just spent the last half hour culling my Facebook friends list. Anyone who was pro-Trump, anti-Biden/Harris, disparaging towards the LGBTQ+ community, or anything else anti-humanitarian got the boot. I'm 50 years old and I'm tired of and do not have time to deal with that shit.
Petty? Sure. Fuck if I care, though. But as John so eloquently wrote (as he always does) your choices define your morals and principles. I'm definitely not perfect and don't claim to be, however, even if Trump were in my best financial interests, and to a degree he is, I could not, nor would not with good conscience pick an amoral disgusting sack of shit who is an adjudicated rapist and convicted felon to the highest office in the USA.
But I will hold the people who did elect him both accountable and in contempt, and that includes some family members.
Thank you for putting it out there in public exactly how I feel. Most of the people around me mercifully believe in the values that I cherish. But there are a few here and there whom I might never identify as one of those individuals. But you've expressed exactly going forward what the rest of us have to do to maintain our sanity and to protect democracy as best we can in all of our actions for the next 4 years.
Wow!!! The thoughts I have been holding for 8 years, the silence I have kept out of misplaced respect, the anger I have transmuted into forgiveness, the fantasies I have had about confronting my siblings! You said it all John and it felt like a release for me. I would just like to add one more element - the 19 million Democrats who stayed home on election day and voted for Trump by proxy. Thank you for voicing my sentiments.
I get it, Fran. I'm in the same boat. I'm in a very MAGA, Evangelical area and people are constantly babbling about how great he is. Even total strangers feel free to bother us in public. We have very few friends partly as a consequence. We stay in a lot (seniors) because we're tired of it.
Fran, one of my two sons voted for him all three times. We’ve already argued about it, regrettably. He and his older brother are now estranged. I split Christmas Day between their two households. I cannot, and will not, avoid my children. This feels a lot like heartbreak. ❤️🩹
Franklin Graham was called out in an intelligence document published in 2018 before Trump met with Putin in Helsinki. Franklin Graham had been visiting Putin in Russia and our intelligence community was following him. Franklin Graham supports Putin and his agenda. The intelligence document was critical of Trump’s lack of support for democracy. Franklin Graham is a Putin tool.
I strongly suspect that it’s all about the benjamins, as it is with Joel Osteen. You don’t keep up that kind of lifestyle by giving away more than you take in. Franklin may not be the only one.
Yes - he is a stooge for the Trump right. I watch his commercials at Christmas time and think of him recruiting Americans at their most vulnerable. Franklin is one the Christian Nationalist’s representatives
He actually said that Trump had had 4 dark years, but "look what God had made now". Yeah, I'm looking, Franklin, but it ain't "God" who made it. At least the Dems did not clap or stand. Personally, I think they should have boycotted it.
I unfortunately just watched a bit of after-inauguration rambling and heard some of the inauguration speech, and as appalling as the man is himself, what created a massive cognitive dissonance for me is how many many recognizable, decent-looking people are applauding him and making him out to be the "greatest President in the history of our country!" It's not just the deplorables, the uneducated, the ignorant. I am 86. I cannot even tell you how depressing it is to realize that this man will probably be president for the rest of my life! An uncouth, classless, rude, unempathic, evil, misogynistic criminal. Thank you for this. It is comforting at this time. Fortunately I do not have to cut many people out of my life. I have the good luck to live in a very blue bubble and choose my friends according to our shared values.
I also include those who didn’t bother to vote at all (I know of at least three, and I’m in a blue state). You said what difference does it make, you hated them both, etc. That to me says you were too lazy to ask questions, do research, give a damn about the future of your children, never mind the country.
Some of those people genuinely believe that the system is too broken and the only way forward it for it to fall apart. (To me that is a privileged position to take because it is the marginalized groups who will be most hurt), but to them it is the only way. I don't agree with it, but I do understand where they are coming from. The people I know like that are all younger--30s--and they feel that the climate crisis must be address radically and that no one on either side is really doing that. Biden has done a lot in that direction, IMHO, but much of it misunderstood and unreported.
The grief is real, for the death of what could have been a very different day today.
The fear is real, for the least of these among us. Our beloved friends and family who are now being threatened. And yes, also grief for some relationships that must be paused and muted now.
It feels like a mountain of work to try and stop this giddy power trip led by a psychopathic narcissist. But the only way to stop the flood of hate and retribution is for enough people of God's loving goodwill to place sandbag after sandbag of calm, rational disagreement. To continually speak truth to power. To not comply in advance. To practice non-violent resistance to injustice. To encourage our representatives in government to keep working to hold the line of the law and ethical behavior. And to slowly, ever so slowly keep bailing our leaking boat of democracy until we can get to a time and place where we can safely begin to repair the damage. Together with God's help, we can weather this storm.
Many, many folks in my area voted for him, including blood relations. I guess they will continue to be CINOs (Christians in name only), not true Christians.
My heart hurts for you. I'm honestly glad my parents passed long before any of this began to happen. They would have been horrified by him. Loving your parent is in your nature, and you will continue to love them, no matter what. As you said, the rest of them? Sure, I can envision dramatically altering my relationships.
The same. I can hear my mother (z”l) scream “SOB” (the worst she’d say) about the first or second time. I miss my parents horribly. They who took little me to civil rights events, didn’t tho live to see Obama’s election. I had the same kind of hope this time.
It is my fervent wish that everyone who reads this piece vows to stay engaged in the resistance, however and whenever you can. Donate to candidates to flip congress, share posts that call out his crimes. March, spend, wear clothing that shows you’re paying attention. Show compassion to those who will soon suffer, and pressure those currently in Congress to actually do their jobs. My list for today includes supporting the Bulwark, Country First, the ACLU and the Southern Poverty Law Center. I am luckier than many, I live in a blue state. But I also live in a purple county and have family in red states. This won’t be easy. For anyone but those who sold out, but at least we can fight together. God Bless you all.
I don't want to read about it. I don't want to know who said what, or even who was there. I canceled cable TV. One can't NOT know what is going on - it's unavoidable. But I will NOT go out of my way to find out. I canceled my Washington Post subscription when they pulled out of endorsing Kamala Harris. I am just furious and frustrated.
I did the same for WAPO over their failure to endorse Harris. I didn’t watch the inauguration. And I’ll try just to read the news and not to ever hear Trump’s voice. Already just reading the hateful things he says ,
his lists of whom he hates and whose, and visas he’ll revoke is infuriating.
I watched a part of it today, but was nauseated. So I went for hike on a trail in the hills with good friends. I can't change the world, but I can change my head space (some of the time). And, like you, that means a lot less news.
I needed this today. You literally are what is keeping me sane, considering how unbelievable that anyone voted for this hateful person. I have had to break my relationship with my two brothers, who are extreme MAGA's, and these relationships are not reparable. I spent my whole career as a high school choir director teaching students, many who identified as LGBTQ. It was heart wrenching observing their struggles in being accepted, and a few resorted to suicide. I hope we will get through the next 4 years, but I have a sinking feeling. Thank you again for your help.
Evelyn, here is a hug from a fellow (retired) educator, many of my students were various kinds of “orthe” some of whom were terribly scarred.
Thank you, Evelyn Rupert, for helping your then students. With LGBTQ family, friends & colleagues, with immigrant friends (and me only 1 gen away from my grandparent immigrants from Eastern Europe), I can’t manage those who intentionally hurt others.
Yesterday I had an opportunity to preach on White Christian Nationalism. Yes, really. In Florida, too. And it was liberating. And no one walked out. Small steps.
Although I feel exactly as you described, I realize that today is the day I make my stand to carry out what I've been dreading. I think I've been waiting for some miracle to happen that would keep all of this from coming true. I already "unfollowed" many people with whom I share genetic and familial ties, as well as former friends, but today is the day when I have to finally deal with what I'm going to do with the ten years or so I have left on this planet, it could be even less.
I know nothing is going to be the same; the country I have loved and served is radically different now, taken over by hatred and a desire for complete control by one faction, supported in part by religious zealots. As a seventy-year-old married gay man who lived through so much anti-LGBTQ sentiment from childhood on, I yet again fear for my life and my right to exist. I fear even more for the younger generation and all the transgender people I know. I've never once considered leaving the country for any reason other than pleasure, but it's now on our minds every day. My husband and I recently celebrated our fortieth anniversary together, ten years legally married. What's going to happen to that? We live in a state where, if they had a chance to do so, would negate our rights in a heartbeat.
I appreciate everything you say, and for giving me and others a forum for safely sharing our views. By design, social media is becoming less and less safe. I know we'll need you even more in the future. Today, I feel a deep emptiness in my soul. I hope to fill it with some hope once I develop my plans, but just for today, I rest. Tomorrow, I can start anew and begin sharing with my friends how I plan to survive and help them survive, as well.
I cannot begin to understand how you are feeling at this moment but I wanted to perk up and say that there are many allies out there who are still feeling a sense of shock and looking for direction. Hopefully they'll get their bearings and can start helping members of the LGBTQ+ community and envelop you with comfort. I've been trying my best to let the handful of LGBTQ+ folks in my life know that I am there for them and I will use my voice as a cis white male to push back against the people who wish them harm. It's all we can do but it's far better than doing nothing.
Take time to collect yourself and heal as it appears you are still grieving. You cannot fill from an empty cup.
Peace be with you.
Several gay and lesbian couples I know and love are leaving the country. Like you, they are older and want to spend the latter part of their lives in peace. Do whatever you need to do to take care of yourself and your beloved husband. And congratulations on 40 years of love!
Tho it is not a day to celebrate, it is to say mazel tov to you on 40 years with your husband. To have waited so long to have a legal marriage took strength.
OMG Michael, sending so much love your way. I can't even imagine the fear you feel, but just know there are so many of us that are here for you and your partner. There will be a better time, just sadly not in the near future!
I just spent the last half hour culling my Facebook friends list. Anyone who was pro-Trump, anti-Biden/Harris, disparaging towards the LGBTQ+ community, or anything else anti-humanitarian got the boot. I'm 50 years old and I'm tired of and do not have time to deal with that shit.
Petty? Sure. Fuck if I care, though. But as John so eloquently wrote (as he always does) your choices define your morals and principles. I'm definitely not perfect and don't claim to be, however, even if Trump were in my best financial interests, and to a degree he is, I could not, nor would not with good conscience pick an amoral disgusting sack of shit who is an adjudicated rapist and convicted felon to the highest office in the USA.
But I will hold the people who did elect him both accountable and in contempt, and that includes some family members.
Ditto. Sad.
Thank you for putting it out there in public exactly how I feel. Most of the people around me mercifully believe in the values that I cherish. But there are a few here and there whom I might never identify as one of those individuals. But you've expressed exactly going forward what the rest of us have to do to maintain our sanity and to protect democracy as best we can in all of our actions for the next 4 years.
Wow!!! The thoughts I have been holding for 8 years, the silence I have kept out of misplaced respect, the anger I have transmuted into forgiveness, the fantasies I have had about confronting my siblings! You said it all John and it felt like a release for me. I would just like to add one more element - the 19 million Democrats who stayed home on election day and voted for Trump by proxy. Thank you for voicing my sentiments.
I’m struggling with members of my family who likely voted for him. I’m avoiding them.
I get it, Fran. I'm in the same boat. I'm in a very MAGA, Evangelical area and people are constantly babbling about how great he is. Even total strangers feel free to bother us in public. We have very few friends partly as a consequence. We stay in a lot (seniors) because we're tired of it.
Fortunately, most of those relatives live far from us, and I’m living in a good place. But I miss the camaraderie we used to have.
Fran, one of my two sons voted for him all three times. We’ve already argued about it, regrettably. He and his older brother are now estranged. I split Christmas Day between their two households. I cannot, and will not, avoid my children. This feels a lot like heartbreak. ❤️🩹
Franklin Graham thanked shithead for rescuing 'us' from the darkness of the last 4 years. WTF?
That tells us a whole lot more about Franklin Graham than about anything that happened over the last four years. Not a good look, Frankie Boy!
Franklin Graham was called out in an intelligence document published in 2018 before Trump met with Putin in Helsinki. Franklin Graham had been visiting Putin in Russia and our intelligence community was following him. Franklin Graham supports Putin and his agenda. The intelligence document was critical of Trump’s lack of support for democracy. Franklin Graham is a Putin tool.
I strongly suspect that it’s all about the benjamins, as it is with Joel Osteen. You don’t keep up that kind of lifestyle by giving away more than you take in. Franklin may not be the only one.
Exactly. It is all about the Graham empire.
Wow, I didn't know that. Tells us even more about Frankie Boy, doesn't it?
Yes - he is a stooge for the Trump right. I watch his commercials at Christmas time and think of him recruiting Americans at their most vulnerable. Franklin is one the Christian Nationalist’s representatives
He actually said that Trump had had 4 dark years, but "look what God had made now". Yeah, I'm looking, Franklin, but it ain't "God" who made it. At least the Dems did not clap or stand. Personally, I think they should have boycotted it.
Well, we know that he had no character and is one of the most racist “Christians” on the planet.
I unfortunately just watched a bit of after-inauguration rambling and heard some of the inauguration speech, and as appalling as the man is himself, what created a massive cognitive dissonance for me is how many many recognizable, decent-looking people are applauding him and making him out to be the "greatest President in the history of our country!" It's not just the deplorables, the uneducated, the ignorant. I am 86. I cannot even tell you how depressing it is to realize that this man will probably be president for the rest of my life! An uncouth, classless, rude, unempathic, evil, misogynistic criminal. Thank you for this. It is comforting at this time. Fortunately I do not have to cut many people out of my life. I have the good luck to live in a very blue bubble and choose my friends according to our shared values.
I move we give them the name they earned by their actions. They are psychopathic neo-fascists by definition. https://hotbuttons.substack.com/p/more-names-than-carter-has-little?r=3m1bs
I also include those who didn’t bother to vote at all (I know of at least three, and I’m in a blue state). You said what difference does it make, you hated them both, etc. That to me says you were too lazy to ask questions, do research, give a damn about the future of your children, never mind the country.
Some of those people genuinely believe that the system is too broken and the only way forward it for it to fall apart. (To me that is a privileged position to take because it is the marginalized groups who will be most hurt), but to them it is the only way. I don't agree with it, but I do understand where they are coming from. The people I know like that are all younger--30s--and they feel that the climate crisis must be address radically and that no one on either side is really doing that. Biden has done a lot in that direction, IMHO, but much of it misunderstood and unreported.
And will be immediately undone where possible.
Strongly concur.
The grief is real, for the death of what could have been a very different day today.
The fear is real, for the least of these among us. Our beloved friends and family who are now being threatened. And yes, also grief for some relationships that must be paused and muted now.
It feels like a mountain of work to try and stop this giddy power trip led by a psychopathic narcissist. But the only way to stop the flood of hate and retribution is for enough people of God's loving goodwill to place sandbag after sandbag of calm, rational disagreement. To continually speak truth to power. To not comply in advance. To practice non-violent resistance to injustice. To encourage our representatives in government to keep working to hold the line of the law and ethical behavior. And to slowly, ever so slowly keep bailing our leaking boat of democracy until we can get to a time and place where we can safely begin to repair the damage. Together with God's help, we can weather this storm.
Many, many folks in my area voted for him, including blood relations. I guess they will continue to be CINOs (Christians in name only), not true Christians.
"CINOs (Christians in name only)"
I like that. May borrow it, if you don't mind. Really says it all, doesn't it?
You're welcome to it.
Wow. This was dark. I feel the same way but have a very hard time turning my back on my elderly parent. The rest of them though? Sure.
My heart hurts for you. I'm honestly glad my parents passed long before any of this began to happen. They would have been horrified by him. Loving your parent is in your nature, and you will continue to love them, no matter what. As you said, the rest of them? Sure, I can envision dramatically altering my relationships.
The same. I can hear my mother (z”l) scream “SOB” (the worst she’d say) about the first or second time. I miss my parents horribly. They who took little me to civil rights events, didn’t tho live to see Obama’s election. I had the same kind of hope this time.
It is my fervent wish that everyone who reads this piece vows to stay engaged in the resistance, however and whenever you can. Donate to candidates to flip congress, share posts that call out his crimes. March, spend, wear clothing that shows you’re paying attention. Show compassion to those who will soon suffer, and pressure those currently in Congress to actually do their jobs. My list for today includes supporting the Bulwark, Country First, the ACLU and the Southern Poverty Law Center. I am luckier than many, I live in a blue state. But I also live in a purple county and have family in red states. This won’t be easy. For anyone but those who sold out, but at least we can fight together. God Bless you all.
I committed to the Resistance long ago. At almost 78, I’m not leaving without helping fix it with education and donations. Promise.
I am watching the shit show innauguration. . I have no words
I can’t even look at it! I’ll read about the lies later in the NYT.
I don't want to read about it. I don't want to know who said what, or even who was there. I canceled cable TV. One can't NOT know what is going on - it's unavoidable. But I will NOT go out of my way to find out. I canceled my Washington Post subscription when they pulled out of endorsing Kamala Harris. I am just furious and frustrated.
So with you. And I can't stand to see his orange face on substack. It's repulsive.
I did the same for WAPO over their failure to endorse Harris. I didn’t watch the inauguration. And I’ll try just to read the news and not to ever hear Trump’s voice. Already just reading the hateful things he says ,
his lists of whom he hates and whose, and visas he’ll revoke is infuriating.
I watched a part of it today, but was nauseated. So I went for hike on a trail in the hills with good friends. I can't change the world, but I can change my head space (some of the time). And, like you, that means a lot less news.
Susan, you have LOTS of company.
Same here. Not watching. Listening to sweet music instead. Peace to all here.
Not watching. Not my president.
Not mine either. Peace and calm thoughts to you.
I’ve got it on the food channel. Can’t give him the satisfaction of big ratings.
I’ve been listening to music and watching old episodes of CSI. He gets none of my attention. None. Zero. Zip. Zilch.
I hope The NY Times is truthful, fair and honest. May be that is too much to ask at this time -
It is.
I put on the Cartoon Network to f**k with his Nielson ratings. 😉 Someone suggested it on Substack and many said they were going to do it.
BTW, the local state university's band was supposed to play there but was told not to come at the last minute. Nice backhand to those kids.
I'm not giving him any ratings.
Why?