This is the time in our lives when we have a chance to "call in", not "call out" those of our friends and family whom we stepped away from because of their MAGA connections. I have watched my friends and family slowly realize that they have been duped and are now starting to admit it. The prodigal sons are beginning to return home. How do we welcome them in and let them know there is still a place for them at our table? If we cannot find a way to do this, then we have also, have missed the point of being a Christian.
Lisa, this would be a much more valid position in 2017 or 2019. After nearly an entire decade of his criminality, cruelty, and hatred, 77 million people voted for him again. There is little that can reach them, other than when the suffering becomes personal.
I see very few, if any Trump voters admitting they were wrong. Most of them are doubling down.
I am for Trump supporters and their families, which is why I oppose someone who is predatory toward them, but the cultic hold is so strong that they see me as the enemy.
Here's my message to those who voted for him and are regretting it:
Being a Christian is about making a place at the table for anyone who does and says anything, it is about creating a table where all people are treated with equal dignity, including LGBTQ people, Muslims, immigrants, people of color. Most MAGA Republicans are incapable of or unwilling to create such a space.
I hear you. I hear frustration, anger, sadness, and despair. I hear that you and others are giving up. I am Queer, and many of my loved ones are brown skinned immigrants, and I have been an ally to POC long before it was hip to do so. I have had members of my church try to start a petition to remove me from the board because of my strong stance in support of trans folks and making our church a safe place for them. I would NEVER excuse or allow hateful, harmful actions or words at my table.
You wrote, 'There is little that can reach them, other than when the suffering becomes personal.' I agree! But WE do not have to be the ones to cause that suffering. Just like an alcoholic or addict who has destroyed everything good in their life and hurt everyone around them, I believe they can recover. They can make amends, and they can end up being the best example to others that there is a way to be different. Also, like an alcoholic, they must first hit bottom, and that means the suffering must hit them, and hit them hard. We do not know what the bottom is for others. And once that hits them, they have reached their bottom, and they're at my door apologizing for the damage they have caused, I will not shut the door in their face. Neither will I simply say all is forgiven. I will cautiously hold space for them to make amends. I will be an example of love and forgiveness. Because once they are suffering themselves, they may start to see the suffering they have caused others. And even if it is just one person who can change because I cared about them, rather than hated them, then it is worth it. In truth, it is mostly worth it for me. To live with that kind of hate and despair in my heart keeps me away from God, and that is the real suffering.
What I am finding is that to smile, welcome, be open for their fears and questions with no "I told you so", brings more conversation. Avoiding what they aren't willing to digest yet. AND finding those issues we all agree on. Not demonizing what they once held dear until THEY are ready to. It all works well.
One more. I will gently criticize the administration and express my shock at its lack of humanity without bringing up daddy Trump. I'll blame Steven Miller directly for the horrors of deportation. Stuff like that.
Sometimes people must walk their truth alone. We as parents must let them spread their wings to full capacity, even though its the hardest thing to do because it takes time and we don't always have time. So we will rush to the aid of others especially our children. I can only pray that the one thing I did teach my son is where ever I am he can be there also. My family believed in open door policy. We never feared going it alone because we knew that they were there in case we failed. We couldn't stay forever mind you, but it was our safe haven and my son hasnt had a safe haven since my parents both died in 2009 and I was incarcerated in 2009 he found himself completely alone, he had to sleep in laundromats, eat from dumpsters and probably worse. I pray not but it seems he's very resentful and afraid and he's never been afraid of anything ever! This is eating my bones literally being seperated from my only son is devastation to me. But hes doing what he feels he must do and I am trying to build that safety again but, he's been damaged from all of this and,our bond may not be severed but, the scars will take time and love and secure places to heal. That's for sure. God knows what he's doing, even when mom thinks she knows best
A lot has already been written, but you offer a unique voice and perspective, so I’d suggest a series on the “idolatry” of Christian nationalism compared with the Gospel/NT teachings and how Christian nationalism gives cover for the rise of fascism and supports white supremacy/racism/xenophobia.
The message of what Progressive Christianity is about needs to be carpet bombed across the country. Not to force religion on anyone, but to show the differences of Progressive Christianity compared to Evangelical Fundamentalism. The progressive message is constantly mislabled by the Right as socialism, weak and unpatrotic. The Right has hijacked what it means to be a Christian. Their version is antithetical to the teachings of Christ. I think if we could show people a Christianity with grace and compassion instead of the rigid condemnation demonstrated by the Right it might go a long way to showing people how to live their faith and serve people at the same time. Caring for people is not socialism, is not weakness and is patriotic.
Personally, given both the personal and political grief I live with, I'd vote for grief. And that's clearly a minority interest. I understand. I came to The Beautiful Mess only recently, so you may have already addressed grief here. I've read your books and other writings, so I know that grief has been addressed there. So next would be Bridging Relational Divides. Diana Butler Bass and Nadia Bolz-Weber cover Progressive Christianity for me weekly...and your voice is ever welcome if that's the decision. Thank you for asking.
The WTF videos led me to the NO Kings One Million Resistance project. I am forming a local group and moving forward with this group as well as my church.
Whew - I can't think of another series right now -- because what you gave us in WTF is so rich that I need time to re-read it, process it, integrate it - reflect more on my life using WTF as a tool.
I guess I need more of the first series: how do I/We stay sane, healthy when our hearts are filled with rage, shock, anger, powerlessness not just at Agent Orange but on all those complicit with him. Day to day, how do we maintain a peaceful, hopeful core?
For a lot of reasons, I never watch videos, I read the transcripts. So I hope that a verbatim transcript of each piece becomes available quite quickly.
“Here We Stand” is a statement adopted in April 2025 by the assembly of Holy Wisdom Monastery, Middleton, WI opposing the Trump administration’s policies.
A Declaration of the Sunday Assembly at Holy Wisdom Monastery
As followers of Jesus, we proclaim that we are called to love God and our neighbor as much as we love ourselves (Matt. 22:37-39), to treat the most vulnerable among us as we would treat God (Matt. 25:31-46), and to cherish “the splendor of the flowers of the field” and all creation (Matt. 6:28-29).
Many current government policies stand in opposition to these values and truths. They erect barriers that make it more difficult for us and other people of good will to love our neighbor, support the vulnerable, and cherish the earth’s splendor. Therefore we feel called to stand publicly, humbly and nonviolently with all communities of faith and people of good will in opposition to these policies.
Here We Stand
We object to policies that dismantle our constitutional democracy as well as to policies that undermine Congressionally-funded programs and services providing food, clothing, shelter, health care, education, and care for the earth.
We reject Christian Nationalism as a dangerous and heretical ideology. It distorts the message of Jesus, and threatens the dignity and freedom of all people.
We speak up in opposition to government policies that threaten the well-being and dignity of targeted populations and individuals and we stand in solidarity with immigrants, LGBTQ persons, women, and all those who are persecuted because of race or ethnicity.
We value and care for a healthy and life-giving earth and oppose policies that endanger the well-being of our planet and the living creatures who inhabit it.
We recognize that compassion and care for the vulnerable are central to the beliefs and values of all spiritual traditions. We invite all communities of faith and conscience in the United States to join us in speaking up and resisting policies of our government that violate inherent human dignity and inflict suffering on the most vulnerable, including earth’s plants, animals, water, and air. – April 27, 2025.
I recently became friends with someone who is full-on MAGA. I didn’t know he was MAGA before we had formed a friendship relationship.
He has severe health issues: he’s had a very damaging stroke which has seriously impacted his life. Five years ago, I was diagnosed with pulmonary fibrosis, a chronic, progressive lung disease which is always fatal.
I don’t like his politics. I know he doesn’t like my politics. I can’t believe I’m going to say this, but sometimes there are things which transcend politics.
He had recent surgery, so I brought him prepared food so he wouldn’t have to cook. I had a flare-up which resulted in hospitalization, and he visited me daily.
We don’t like each other’s politics. Somehow we’ve managed to move beyond that and treat each other as human beings who are struggling.
I have distanced myself since the November election from 2 sisters and a brother. I keep imagining contacting them again-but what could I say? I will never agree with their skewed version of"Christianity" Or agree with my brother's right wing conspiracy views from Fox. He believed trump would protect women (he didn't ask me about this). He also believes the J6 insurrection was an FBI set up. What?! I don't know if I could or should try to reconnect. I need help, wisdom and discernment.
Kate Bowler postwed a beautiful "blessing" to Instagram a few days ago. In a poetic way it addresses public grief and where we find God in the midst of it. She inspired the thought that we have lost that ability to come together in grief as a nation because we are so divided--every public expression is set upon by one side or another. Thoughts and prayers don't cut it but neither does immediately looking for someone or something to blame.
I was a small child in another country when JFK was assassinated. My Romanian nanny burst into tears at the news and I wailed along with her, not really understanding why. But in hindsight, her grief left a profound impression on me. Here I was, in another country, with a nanny who was a different nationality than my own, bereft at the death of a President not my own.
We come together in joy, but also in grief. Children have perished in Texas--many more in Gaza. Why is it that some mourn one group but not the other?
When Jesus healed Jairus' daughter he said "Do not fear, only believe."
But the death of one child is one death too many. I look to Christ to help me in the public grief.
I left social media because I hated the feeling exposed, judged as a teacher. Here there is community.This place for me feels safe and can help me recover from the way I was treated as a teacher for the past 2 decades. I am so ready to leave my anger. Really need a place to support and be supported.
Also, if I feel this way, I want to find other people who are suffering and help overcome this feeling of BUTTHURT.
If we believe love really does win, let us show the real value of love. It is so hard to say how could you ever think this evil man and movement would be good. Finding ways to not lead with told you so but finding ways to show what we profess empathy and understanding. Believe me this is easier said than done I know. I hold anger and deep disappointment in family and friends who put us in this hateful stressful decade we have been forced to live in! That said would like to explore how we get past this?
This is the time in our lives when we have a chance to "call in", not "call out" those of our friends and family whom we stepped away from because of their MAGA connections. I have watched my friends and family slowly realize that they have been duped and are now starting to admit it. The prodigal sons are beginning to return home. How do we welcome them in and let them know there is still a place for them at our table? If we cannot find a way to do this, then we have also, have missed the point of being a Christian.
Lisa, this would be a much more valid position in 2017 or 2019. After nearly an entire decade of his criminality, cruelty, and hatred, 77 million people voted for him again. There is little that can reach them, other than when the suffering becomes personal.
https://johnpavlovitz.substack.com/p/if-trump-supporters-turn-on-him-it
I see very few, if any Trump voters admitting they were wrong. Most of them are doubling down.
I am for Trump supporters and their families, which is why I oppose someone who is predatory toward them, but the cultic hold is so strong that they see me as the enemy.
Here's my message to those who voted for him and are regretting it:
https://johnpavlovitz.substack.com/p/trump-voters-is-this-what-you-wanted
Being a Christian is about making a place at the table for anyone who does and says anything, it is about creating a table where all people are treated with equal dignity, including LGBTQ people, Muslims, immigrants, people of color. Most MAGA Republicans are incapable of or unwilling to create such a space.
I hear you. I hear frustration, anger, sadness, and despair. I hear that you and others are giving up. I am Queer, and many of my loved ones are brown skinned immigrants, and I have been an ally to POC long before it was hip to do so. I have had members of my church try to start a petition to remove me from the board because of my strong stance in support of trans folks and making our church a safe place for them. I would NEVER excuse or allow hateful, harmful actions or words at my table.
You wrote, 'There is little that can reach them, other than when the suffering becomes personal.' I agree! But WE do not have to be the ones to cause that suffering. Just like an alcoholic or addict who has destroyed everything good in their life and hurt everyone around them, I believe they can recover. They can make amends, and they can end up being the best example to others that there is a way to be different. Also, like an alcoholic, they must first hit bottom, and that means the suffering must hit them, and hit them hard. We do not know what the bottom is for others. And once that hits them, they have reached their bottom, and they're at my door apologizing for the damage they have caused, I will not shut the door in their face. Neither will I simply say all is forgiven. I will cautiously hold space for them to make amends. I will be an example of love and forgiveness. Because once they are suffering themselves, they may start to see the suffering they have caused others. And even if it is just one person who can change because I cared about them, rather than hated them, then it is worth it. In truth, it is mostly worth it for me. To live with that kind of hate and despair in my heart keeps me away from God, and that is the real suffering.
I won't cause their suffering. I will listen. I don't know if I can forgive or not.
What I am finding is that to smile, welcome, be open for their fears and questions with no "I told you so", brings more conversation. Avoiding what they aren't willing to digest yet. AND finding those issues we all agree on. Not demonizing what they once held dear until THEY are ready to. It all works well.
One more. I will gently criticize the administration and express my shock at its lack of humanity without bringing up daddy Trump. I'll blame Steven Miller directly for the horrors of deportation. Stuff like that.
Sometimes people must walk their truth alone. We as parents must let them spread their wings to full capacity, even though its the hardest thing to do because it takes time and we don't always have time. So we will rush to the aid of others especially our children. I can only pray that the one thing I did teach my son is where ever I am he can be there also. My family believed in open door policy. We never feared going it alone because we knew that they were there in case we failed. We couldn't stay forever mind you, but it was our safe haven and my son hasnt had a safe haven since my parents both died in 2009 and I was incarcerated in 2009 he found himself completely alone, he had to sleep in laundromats, eat from dumpsters and probably worse. I pray not but it seems he's very resentful and afraid and he's never been afraid of anything ever! This is eating my bones literally being seperated from my only son is devastation to me. But hes doing what he feels he must do and I am trying to build that safety again but, he's been damaged from all of this and,our bond may not be severed but, the scars will take time and love and secure places to heal. That's for sure. God knows what he's doing, even when mom thinks she knows best
I'm too disgusted.
"Calling In" by Loretta J. Ross speaks to the importance of calling in and also gives some advice on how to do it.
We fight like our lives depends on it because it does
A lot has already been written, but you offer a unique voice and perspective, so I’d suggest a series on the “idolatry” of Christian nationalism compared with the Gospel/NT teachings and how Christian nationalism gives cover for the rise of fascism and supports white supremacy/racism/xenophobia.
I voted for the 5 questions but would also like the Progressive Christianity topic as well.
The message of what Progressive Christianity is about needs to be carpet bombed across the country. Not to force religion on anyone, but to show the differences of Progressive Christianity compared to Evangelical Fundamentalism. The progressive message is constantly mislabled by the Right as socialism, weak and unpatrotic. The Right has hijacked what it means to be a Christian. Their version is antithetical to the teachings of Christ. I think if we could show people a Christianity with grace and compassion instead of the rigid condemnation demonstrated by the Right it might go a long way to showing people how to live their faith and serve people at the same time. Caring for people is not socialism, is not weakness and is patriotic.
Personally, given both the personal and political grief I live with, I'd vote for grief. And that's clearly a minority interest. I understand. I came to The Beautiful Mess only recently, so you may have already addressed grief here. I've read your books and other writings, so I know that grief has been addressed there. So next would be Bridging Relational Divides. Diana Butler Bass and Nadia Bolz-Weber cover Progressive Christianity for me weekly...and your voice is ever welcome if that's the decision. Thank you for asking.
The WTF videos led me to the NO Kings One Million Resistance project. I am forming a local group and moving forward with this group as well as my church.
How about a deep look into leadership? We need strong compassionate leaders in every capacity.
Whew - I can't think of another series right now -- because what you gave us in WTF is so rich that I need time to re-read it, process it, integrate it - reflect more on my life using WTF as a tool.
I guess I need more of the first series: how do I/We stay sane, healthy when our hearts are filled with rage, shock, anger, powerlessness not just at Agent Orange but on all those complicit with him. Day to day, how do we maintain a peaceful, hopeful core?
For a lot of reasons, I never watch videos, I read the transcripts. So I hope that a verbatim transcript of each piece becomes available quite quickly.
“Here We Stand” is a statement adopted in April 2025 by the assembly of Holy Wisdom Monastery, Middleton, WI opposing the Trump administration’s policies.
A Declaration of the Sunday Assembly at Holy Wisdom Monastery
As followers of Jesus, we proclaim that we are called to love God and our neighbor as much as we love ourselves (Matt. 22:37-39), to treat the most vulnerable among us as we would treat God (Matt. 25:31-46), and to cherish “the splendor of the flowers of the field” and all creation (Matt. 6:28-29).
Many current government policies stand in opposition to these values and truths. They erect barriers that make it more difficult for us and other people of good will to love our neighbor, support the vulnerable, and cherish the earth’s splendor. Therefore we feel called to stand publicly, humbly and nonviolently with all communities of faith and people of good will in opposition to these policies.
Here We Stand
We object to policies that dismantle our constitutional democracy as well as to policies that undermine Congressionally-funded programs and services providing food, clothing, shelter, health care, education, and care for the earth.
We reject Christian Nationalism as a dangerous and heretical ideology. It distorts the message of Jesus, and threatens the dignity and freedom of all people.
We speak up in opposition to government policies that threaten the well-being and dignity of targeted populations and individuals and we stand in solidarity with immigrants, LGBTQ persons, women, and all those who are persecuted because of race or ethnicity.
We value and care for a healthy and life-giving earth and oppose policies that endanger the well-being of our planet and the living creatures who inhabit it.
We recognize that compassion and care for the vulnerable are central to the beliefs and values of all spiritual traditions. We invite all communities of faith and conscience in the United States to join us in speaking up and resisting policies of our government that violate inherent human dignity and inflict suffering on the most vulnerable, including earth’s plants, animals, water, and air. – April 27, 2025.
I recently became friends with someone who is full-on MAGA. I didn’t know he was MAGA before we had formed a friendship relationship.
He has severe health issues: he’s had a very damaging stroke which has seriously impacted his life. Five years ago, I was diagnosed with pulmonary fibrosis, a chronic, progressive lung disease which is always fatal.
I don’t like his politics. I know he doesn’t like my politics. I can’t believe I’m going to say this, but sometimes there are things which transcend politics.
He had recent surgery, so I brought him prepared food so he wouldn’t have to cook. I had a flare-up which resulted in hospitalization, and he visited me daily.
We don’t like each other’s politics. Somehow we’ve managed to move beyond that and treat each other as human beings who are struggling.
I have distanced myself since the November election from 2 sisters and a brother. I keep imagining contacting them again-but what could I say? I will never agree with their skewed version of"Christianity" Or agree with my brother's right wing conspiracy views from Fox. He believed trump would protect women (he didn't ask me about this). He also believes the J6 insurrection was an FBI set up. What?! I don't know if I could or should try to reconnect. I need help, wisdom and discernment.
Kate Bowler postwed a beautiful "blessing" to Instagram a few days ago. In a poetic way it addresses public grief and where we find God in the midst of it. She inspired the thought that we have lost that ability to come together in grief as a nation because we are so divided--every public expression is set upon by one side or another. Thoughts and prayers don't cut it but neither does immediately looking for someone or something to blame.
I was a small child in another country when JFK was assassinated. My Romanian nanny burst into tears at the news and I wailed along with her, not really understanding why. But in hindsight, her grief left a profound impression on me. Here I was, in another country, with a nanny who was a different nationality than my own, bereft at the death of a President not my own.
We come together in joy, but also in grief. Children have perished in Texas--many more in Gaza. Why is it that some mourn one group but not the other?
When Jesus healed Jairus' daughter he said "Do not fear, only believe."
But the death of one child is one death too many. I look to Christ to help me in the public grief.
As Kate Bowler says "God, meet us here."
I left social media because I hated the feeling exposed, judged as a teacher. Here there is community.This place for me feels safe and can help me recover from the way I was treated as a teacher for the past 2 decades. I am so ready to leave my anger. Really need a place to support and be supported.
Also, if I feel this way, I want to find other people who are suffering and help overcome this feeling of BUTTHURT.
If we believe love really does win, let us show the real value of love. It is so hard to say how could you ever think this evil man and movement would be good. Finding ways to not lead with told you so but finding ways to show what we profess empathy and understanding. Believe me this is easier said than done I know. I hold anger and deep disappointment in family and friends who put us in this hateful stressful decade we have been forced to live in! That said would like to explore how we get past this?